Wanko to Kurasou Typo/mistake Report Thread

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Unread postby TakaJun » September 28th, 2008, 7:53 pm

Everything fixed
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Unread postby KaneDragon » October 9th, 2008, 3:42 pm

4-23:
"You're probably right. I'm talking about what you told me the other day..."
"That's just a joke. Don't take it so seriously."

Maybe past tense would be better, here?

"That was just a joke. Don't take it so seriously."
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Unread postby KaneDragon » October 9th, 2008, 9:08 pm

Another tense problem. Also, the way "master" is used (like a name, as opposed to "my master" or "the master"), shouldn't it be capitalized? If so, the latter would apply to a lot of other places, too.

2-21:
Original: "She promised me that she'll come back right away... but master didn't come back..."
Fix: "She promised me that she'd come back right away... but Master didn't come back..."
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Unread postby KaneDragon » October 10th, 2008, 1:49 am

Triple post, since you don't want post editing and I'm such a sap for the "finding Mikan" scene. 8)

Tense error or personal preference, your call.

2-21:
Original: ...but she sure is small. I'll say she's in middle school.
Fixed(?): ...but she sure is small. I'd say she's in middle school.
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Unread postby TakaJun » October 13th, 2008, 8:48 pm

Everything looked at.
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Unread postby KaneDragon » October 13th, 2008, 11:49 pm

Here's the other three I was saving up, then:

2-21: (capitalization of honorific?)
Old: Yuu-chan! Itou-Sensei is here, right? Can you tell her she has a sick anthropoid dog coming her way?
New: Yuu-chan! Itou-sensei is here, right? Can you tell her she has a sick anthropoid dog coming her way?

2-21: (first comma doesn't belong since no subject in second clause; "too" needs a comma)
Old: I'll open one of the cans of dog food I just bought for her, and make something for myself too.
New: I'll open one of the cans of dog food I just bought for her and make something for myself, too.

4-23: (things that, people who; I believe you're supposed to spell out numbers less than nine, but I don't really care...)
Old: There are about 3 people in my phone book that would pay 2-3 million yen
New: There are about three people in my phone book who would pay 2-3 million yen


Thanks for your work.
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Unread postby afdks2 » October 17th, 2008, 5:09 am

5/13 - Improper use of "Where"
Old - "Where you talking with them?"
New - "Were you talking with them?"
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Unread postby KaneDragon » October 18th, 2008, 3:03 am

It's hard to drag myself away from a visual novel... Anyway, here's the stuff that's caught my eye so far. It's a mix of grammar, personal preference, and maybe some misconceptions, but see what looks good to you. 8)


5/9:
Old: so I'm assuming he doesn't want to do it with stragers.
New: so I'm assuming he doesn't want to do it with strangers.


5/13:
Old: I've done most of what love can do in my simulation.
New: I've done most of what love can do in my situation.


5/14:
Old: It seems I picked a quarrel with you.
New: It seems I picked a fight with you.
(preference; more common form)


Old: If you're a happy person that believes people are naturally attracted to one other if they are together... Or if you held the common belief, thinking that you can't live together unless you love or like each other... You couldn't understand the relationship between me and Risa.
New: If you were a happy person who believed that people are naturally attracted to one other if they are together... Or if you held the common belief, thinking that you can't live together unless you love or like each other... You wouldn't be able to understand the relationship between me and Risa.
(Tensing is a little awkward here, among other things. This sounds better, at least to me.)

Old: Kotarou probably knows too.
New: Kotarou probably knows, too.

Old: just because you've lived 10 more years than I have. You're not the only one who's lonely and can't get what you want.
New: just because you've lived ten more years than I have. You're not the only one who's lonely and can't get what they want.
(10/ten might be preference; "you" doesn't really match up well with the "the only one" that it refers to; does a singular "they" work any better?)

Old: I don't think it'll leave a scar either...
New: I don't think it'll leave a scar, either...

Old: You shouldn't go drink outside.
New: You shouldn't go drinking outside.

Old: You're probably much more normal than me or Risa.
New: You're probably much more normal than I or Risa.

Old: We're both good-for-nothings that gave up already.
New: We're both good-for-nothings who have already given up.

Old: And it's painful because I can't ever obtain them.
New: And it's painful because I can never obtain them.
(personal preference)

Old: and relatives that would accept me if I go over to their houses.
New: and relatives who would accept me if I went over to their houses.

Old: We're similar in those regards... Kotarou too.
New: We're similar in those regards... Kotarou, too.

Old: Just like how I would never have a blood-related family or a relative...
New: Just like how I will never have a blood-related family or relative...
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Unread postby KaneDragon » October 18th, 2008, 3:05 am

KaneDragon wrote:Old: It seems I picked a quarrel with you.
New: It seems I picked a fight with you.
(preference; more common form)

I mean, between "picked a quarrel" and "picked a fight", not "quarrel"/"fight" themselves. Or something.
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Unread postby afdks2 » October 18th, 2008, 7:08 pm

5/22 - Kuu scene
Old: "It's coming into of me!"
New: "It's coming into me!"
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Unread postby Azuriazu » October 19th, 2008, 10:10 am

4/22

Line: Tetsuya: "Shes a frequest customer, so she'll probably [...]"

Problem: Frequest? I've never heard of that word before. Maybe you meant frequent?

Correction: Tetsuya: "Shes a frequent customer, so she'll probably [...]"
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Unread postby Azuriazu » October 19th, 2008, 10:25 am

5/9

Line: Nadeshiko: "Oh, Yuuichi-kun... And eveyone else. "

Problem: Eveyone

Correction: Nadeshiko: "Oh, Yuuichi-kun... And everyone else. "
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Unread postby meh » October 20th, 2008, 12:20 am

5/13

Mikan does chores she doesn't really have to (wiping the tables and shifting around the ingredients on the rack) and walks aroud around the room.

5/14

Yuuichi: "If you're a happy person that believes people are naturally attracted to one other another if they are together..."
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Unread postby Azuriazu » October 20th, 2008, 7:11 am

5/12

Line: Nadeshiko: "Kotarou is of suitable age and I don't care what kind of a breed the children are, [...]

Problem: Awkward, remove 'a'

Correction: Nadeshiko: "Kotarou is of suitable age and I don't care what kind of breed the children are, [...]
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Unread postby KaneDragon » October 21st, 2008, 12:31 am

5/21:
Old: She's of a breed that can fight deers, boars, and even bears.
New: She's of a breed that can fight deer, boars, and even bears.

5/28:
Old: Maybe Mikan got a bit taller.
New: Maybe if Mikan got a bit taller.
(Missing an "if"? Yuuichi is talking about Mikan's prospects as a therapy dog...)
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Unread postby KaneDragon » October 23rd, 2008, 5:19 pm

5/25
Old: Krien said something to her after beating him...
New: Krien said something to her after she beat him...
(Kotarou is the one beating Krien up; with the current wording, this sounds like Krien is beating some some other male)

Old: Would I too...?
New: Would I, too...?
(Comma before "too" when used to mean "also")

5/26:
Old: He'll know it was me.
New: He'd know it was me.
(since they're still talking about a hypothetical situation)
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Unread postby meh » October 25th, 2008, 1:19 am

5/25

Nadeshiko: "And I'm sure it's worse becuase because she was fond of him."

5/26

Someone knocks on the door.
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Unread postby meh » October 26th, 2008, 3:26 am

5/12

She's tossing, turning and streching stretching.
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Unread postby Azuriazu » October 27th, 2008, 8:50 am

5/23

Line: Kotarou: "I got a you gift."

Problem: Wrong word order

Correction: Kotarou: "I got you a gift."

5/26

Line: Kotarou: "Seika would get sad if you're sorrowful or in pain."

Problem: Matter of tense, needs to be past

Correction: Kotarou: "Seika would get sad if you were sorrowful or in pain."
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Unread postby bandaid » November 4th, 2008, 10:16 pm

Here is the first one

4/6

Yusa and Mikan go out for a walk, Mikan brings him the leash and then this part comes up "I put the wristband on my arm and connect the leash to it." It sounds like he's going to walk himself.

Assuming this is indeed an error, it should be "I place the wristband on Mikan's arm, and connect the leash to it" (it could stay put if wanted)

4/12

During the conversation of Risa and Yusa, Yusa is thinking about the websites.

(There were really bad sites. I bet Risa would faint if she sees them)

It should be

(They were really bad websites, I bet Risa would faint if she saw them).
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