Utawarerumono Typo/Grammar Thread [v1.1]

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Unread postby TheXev » February 15th, 2008, 10:37 pm

ThunderCloud wrote:Since I can't post url until I get 5 posts, I had to save my post in a text file. If a mod can edit my post and paste the content of the text file, it'd be great.

skynet.sprintslash[DOT]net/rayromano/underwater.txt

Editing completed.


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Unread postby ThunderCloud » February 16th, 2008, 11:33 am

TheXev wrote:
ThunderCloud wrote:Since I can't post url until I get 5 posts, I had to save my post in a text file. If a mod can edit my post and paste the content of the text file, it'd be great.

skynet.sprintslash[DOT]net/rayromano/underwater.txt

Editing completed.


Looks like the anti-spam scripts deleted your account and banned you. I removed the ban, but your account is still gone -_-. Please re-register.

Sorry about that.
No problem. Just finished the game, here are some more errors I found:

The screenshots can be found at skynet dot sprintslash dot net /rayromano/

15-1.jpg
Scene: After battle 15 after Karura beat the guy up.
"No need to worry, he is only unconcious. If that were enough to finish him, he would not be Giryagina."
Error: It should be "was" instead of "were".

17-1.jpg
(already reported in post 16187)
Scene: Battle 17.
"Uhuhuhu... You think I would (let) my skin come in contact with just anyone?"
Error: Missing the word "let".

17-2.jpg
Scene: Battle 17.
"I now declare (this) the country of Karurawaturei!"
Error: Missing the word "this".

17-3.jpg
Scene: After battle 17, when Hakuroro breaks the doll.
"This is the doll (that) she really takes care of."
Error: Missing the word "that".

17-4.jpg
Scene: Same as above
"What a wierd angle---hey..."
Error: Typo. "Weird".

17-5.jpg
Scene: After battle 17, when Oboro asks Hakuro to sleep with her.
"It's rare to see you down it (in) one gulp. I thought you didn't like drinking like that."
Error: Missing the word "in".

17-6.jpg
Scene: Same as above
"And besides, wouldn't this be decided based on Yuzuha's feelings instead?"
Error: Should be "shouldn't" instead of "wouldn't".

17-7.jpg
Scene: Same as above
"I don't know how much time she has left, but... I want her wish to be true. She wants to have a women's happiness."
Error: 1) I want her with to COME true. 2) She wants to have a womAn's happiness.

(Already reported in post 16187)
17-8.jpg
Scene: Utoryi's room, Eruru talking about the baby.
"But she is a loving as if it was her own... even though she doesn't have to be."
Error: "a" should be "as" instead.

17-9.jpg
Scene: I dunno.
"Onee-sama~~~Oji-sama said he has some b"\n"usiness with"\n"you~~~!"
Error: bad linebreak.

18-0.jpg
Scene: Just before battle 18, the suprise attack on enenmy camp.
"But we have no other advantageous ground than here."
Possible improvements:
"But we have no other advantageous ground besides here."

20-1.jpg
Scene: After Battle 20, in Urtoriy's room when the baby talked.
"Otou-san... he said."
Error: Errr... I thought it's a girl so it should be 'she'.

20-2.jpg
Scene: Fishing with Touka.
(She has great technique. She only mentioned that she like fishing, not that she was good at it.)
Error: "s" is missing from "likes".

20-3.jpg
Scene: Touka's flashback, before sex.
"Love if something which must be taken, even if by force."
Error: The first "if" should be a "is".

20-4.jpg
Scene: During sex
"Touka, Let's continue."
Error: Speech does not match the character.

20-6.jpg
Scene: Kuuya gets invaded.
"It has only been ten years since the last war. I thought no one would be fool enough to challenge us again."
Error: "Foolish" instead of "Fool".

20-7.jpg
Scene: Meeting with Kuuya.
"Oh, nothing, I was just thinking that you were a girl after all."
Error: She still is a girl so present tense should be used. "Are" instead of "were".

20-8.jpg
Scene: After Kamyu is found.
"Yes, everything is friends here."
Error: Are.

20-9.jpg
Scene: When Urtoryi tries to take the baby and runs
"We cannot allow you any further."
Improvement: "We cannot allow you to go any further."

20-10.jpg
Scene: Same as above.
"This isn't the usual Urtoriy full of kindness I know."
Improvement: "This isn't the usual Urtoriy (who is) full of kindness (that) I know."

20-14.jpg
Scene: After baby left.
"(... It seems she is good already.)"
Improvement: "(... It seems she is fine/alright/okay already.)

21-1.jpg
Scene:During battle 21 when they tried to hold the robots off.
Error: Karuru's speech exceeds 3 lines and overlaps.

21-2.jpg
Scene: After battle 21
"No, I---I told him too!"
Error: "to" misspelled as "too".

22-1-3.jpg
Scene: Before part 2 of battle 22, the rescue mission.
"As it is you, can you not go back?"
Error: I've never heard of "As it is you" before.
Improvement: "Same to you, will you not go back?"

22-2.jpg
Scene: After Waabe was rescued.
"Urtoriy, I have made you worried."
Error: Wrong tense. "I have made you worry."

25-1.jpg
Scene: After battle 25. When Kuuya was defeated.
"(I can't believe it... with just those words, he bound everyone here?)"
Error: Wrong tense, it should be "bounded". The last of "s" after "he bound" was what caught my eyes though.

25-3.jpg
[Minor] Scene: same as above.
"Tawro, you should understand the best. You chose the same path."
Awkward. Possible improvement: "You should understand that the best."

(Already reported in post 16187)
25-5.jpg
Scene: Same as above.
"If you assocate with that, then all that awaits is difficult sin and destruction!"
Error: 1) associated is misspelled. 2) "ARE" sin and destruction? I'm not sure.

25-6.jpg
Scene: Flashback after being reminded of earthquake.
"By the way, how goe the repairs on your house?"
Error: Should be "goes".

25-7.jpg (25-7-2.jpg)
Scene: Talking about Diy still.
"He disappeared, and when he reappeared, he was like that."
Error: The speech does not match the speaker.

26-1.jpg
Scene: After battle 26, the one with the clones.
"I see. Well, it's not big deal."
Error: "not" should be "no".

26-2.jpg
Scene: Slightly after the above.
"To make it as close to the original, raw materials were used with the reinforced ceramic to make a compound."
Improvement 1) "To make it as close to the original AS POSSIBLE" 2) take out "the" from "raw materials were used with (the) reinforced ceramic"

26-3.jpg
Scene: Hien is blocking the way, just before battle 27.
"I cannot allow anyone (to) past. Please turn back."
Error: "To" is missing.

27-1.jpg
Scene: Right after battle 27.
"I cannot allow you past... no matter what you do."
Error: Same as above.

27-2.jpg
Scene: Same as above.
"This is... just like (back) then..."
Error: "Back" is missing.


Extra:
I don't think the term "Logistic" is used correctly throughout the game. It's deals with the movements of goods and supplies.

Noun

logistics

1. The process of planning, implementing, and controlling the efficient, effective flow and storage of goods, services and related information from their point of origin to point of consumption for the purpose of conforming to customer requirements.
2. (military) The procurement, supply, maintenance, and transportation of equipment, facilities, and personnel.
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Unread postby md » February 17th, 2008, 6:10 am

Orikakan> No... you aren't Raskhain...
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Unread postby md » February 17th, 2008, 6:49 am

Hakuoro telling the star-girl story to Yuzuha

"They grew up together and everyone thought they would marry one day. And so did they."

-> "marry one day, and so did they."
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Unread postby md » February 18th, 2008, 2:49 am

Touka in the baths, 1st time.
"I did not realize it what I did. Do you have a stomach ache?"
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Unread postby Balcerzak » February 19th, 2008, 4:18 pm

Scene: Enter Genjimaru - Encyclopedia 10
Hakuoro--"(He doesn't look like a thief or assassin. If he was, he could have done something while I slept.)"
Problem: missing word.
Fix: = "a thief or an assassin".

Hakuoro--"Shrine... ah, there were a lot of stories over many hours... so much I was drowning in them."
Problem: Much/many confusion.
Fix: "so many that I was".

Scene: Yuzuha's room - Encyclopedia 10
Problem: nugwisomukami is given the furigana "demon", whereas in the prior conversation with Emperor of Kunnekamun it was "evil spirit".
Fix: Make the usage consistent.

Scene: Square (Kamyu's self-conversation) - Encyclopedia 10
Hakuoro--"(But what in the world was was all that earlier?)"
Problem: extra word.
Fix: remove extra "was".

Scene: Storm (Prelude to Karura and Na Tunk) - Encyclopedia 10
"And then----after a flash of lighting lights up the dark night sky, earth-shaking thunder booms."
Problem: Misspelling.
Fix: Change "lighting" to "lightning"

Scene: Following the storm - Encyclopedia 10
Karura--"I may look like this, but I am a nakwan. I can be useful on the battlefiield."
Problem: Misspelling.
Fix: "battlefiield" should be spelled "battlefield."

Eruruw--"Oboro-san... [linebreak] -crackle- -crackle- -crackle- ------"
Eruruw--"Wait, wait! This is that woman's----huh? Where did she go?"
Oboro--"Benawi----where did he go?"
Problem: Speaker confusion.
Fix: Second line should be Oboro speaking.

Scene: Yuzuha's Room - Encyclopedia 10
Hakuoro--"(More? ... She's not going to stop?"
Problem: Needs closing parenthesis.
Fix: Close the parenthesis.

Scene: Following Karura's sword, Kamyu not eating - Encyclopedia 10
Munto--"What are you saying? Sicknesses starts from such small things!"
Problem: Subject verb agreement mismatch.
Fix: "Sicknesses start from" or "Sickness starts from"

Scene: Third Kuuya conversation - Encyclopedia 10
Kuuya--"Vanity... or perhapse a pretense."
Problem: Misspelling.
Fix: "perhapse" should be "perhaps".

Scene: Peace-signing Meeting.
Urtoriy--"In the name of Witsarnemitea, this peace aggreement-----"
Problem: Misspelling.
Fix: "aggreement" should be "agreement".

?--"Geeeeeet outa my way! There's no time for that!"
Problem: Misspelling/inconsistency.
Fix: "outa" should be "outta".

Hakuoro--"... Got it. You can rest now, An-chan."
Problem: Mistaken form of address (Hakuoro usually calls Teoro Oyaji, not An-chan).
Fix: Change An-chan to Oyaji.

Scene: Following Kucca Kecca's suicide attack (prior to allocating BP)
Hakuoro--"The instant their mobility was taken they should have known this would happen."
Problem: Missing word.
Fix: "mobility was taken away".

Scene: Shudo training
Eruruw--"When you reach the max amount of techniques for each character and your vitality is max..."
Problem: "Each character" sounds like a factual error. If you reach the maximum technique in any character you can execute the special.

Aruruw--"You did it!"
Problem: Mistaken speaker [I think this is Eruruw speaking (based off of sprite)]

Scene: Kucca Kecca's defeat - Encyclopedia 13
"I never seen her cry with such incredible pain before."
Problem: Verb tense agreement.
Fix: "I have never seen".

Scene: Touka in the throne room - Encyclopedia 13
"Her gaze no longer hold enmity. Only... a quiet sadness."
Problem: Subject/verb agreement, or tense agreement.
Fix: "no longer holds enmity" or "no longer held enmity". (I cannot remember which tense is more appropriate from context at this time.)

Touka--"I have committed many unforgiveable acts and discourtesies."
Problem: Misspelling.
Fix: "unforgiveable" should be "unforgivable".

Touka--"I have killed much more than ten or twenty of your people."
Problem: Much/many confusion.
Fix: "killed many more"

Hakuoro--"(If I didn't stop her, her head would have fallen to the floor.)"
Problem: Verb tense agreement.
Fix: "If I hadn't stopped her"

Scene: Conversation with Kuuya about red-light district - Encyclopedia 13
Kuuya--"Why? What can't you?"
Problem: Poor word choice.
Fix: "Why can't you"

Scene: Benawi and Oboro spar in the square - Encyclopedia 13
"The two of the stand in a swirl of tension, gripping their respective weapons without moving an inch."
Problem: Word mistake.
Fix: "two of them stand"

Scene: Eruruw and Hakuoro go picking herbs - Encyclopedia 13
"(Karura is drinking again and Touka is hung over from drinking with Karura the night before.)"
Problem: Word mistake.
Fix: "hung over" should be "hungover".

Scene: late night with Kamyu (blood sucking) - Encyclopedia 13
-pant- -pants- -pant-
Problem: Consistency.
Fix: Make them all -pant-

Scene: After Karurawaturei established - Encyclopedia 16
Derihourai--"I now declare the country of Karurawaturei!" = "declare this to be"

Scene: Mikyiwm introduction - Encyclopedia 16
Oboro--"Eruruw, you said that liver can make medicine that can cure any illness. Is that true!?"
Problem: Missing word.
Fix: "that its liver"

Scene: About to go fishing with Touka for the first time - Encyclopedia 16
Hakuoro--"Oh come no. You don't look convince."
Problem: Word error.
Fix: "Oh come now".

Scene: Drinking with Oboro - Encyclopedia 16
Hakuoro--"(It doesn't seem his eyes are even fixating anymore...)"
Problem: Missing word.
Fix: "seem like his"

Scene: Doll-repair - Encyclopedia 16
Doll Maker--"Hm, it is very crudely carved."
Problem: Verb tense agreement.
Fix:"carved" should be "carven."

Scene: Study - Karurawaturei audience request - Encyclopedia 16
Benawi--"Emporer, someone claiming to be Karurawaturei's Ouroi has requested an audience to thank you for your support."
Problem: Misspelling.
Fix: "Ouroi" should be "Ouro"

Hakuoro--"D-don't----grab my sleeve so fast! I could've fell on my head and died!"
Problem: Verb tense agreement.
Fix: "could've fallen on my"

Hakuoro--"Those kind of stories are supposed to end with 'happily ever after'."
Problem: Subject/verb agreement.
Fix: "Those kinds of stories"

Scene: Eruruw's self-confidence - Encyclopedia 16
"She compares Eruruw's and Kamyu's chest, and then at her own. And then---"
Problem: Extra word.
Fix: Remove the "at" that is out of place.

Scene: Mukkur getting ignored - Encyclopedia 16
Aruruw--"If you act like this... I hate you. [linebreak] [space] Hmph---"
Problem: Extra space.
Fix: remove extra space.

Scene: Urtoriy's room, 3rd time - Encyclopedia 16
Kamyu--"Onee-sama~~~Oji-sama said he has some b [linebreak] usiness with [linebreak] you~~~!"
Problem: linebreaks.
Fix: fix linebreaks.

Scene: Introducing Kanhordari and Ponahoi - Encyclopedia 16
"All of the people jeer him mercilessly."
Problem: Missing word.
Fix: "jeer at him"

Scene: Preparing to fight Shikeripecim - Encyclopedia 16
"I look at the thread tied to my leg"
Problem: Subject confusion.
Fix: I believe this should say "tied to its leg", as I'm assuming it refers to the pigeon noise we hear, and the fact that pigeons are often used to carry messages. Also, Hakuoro would've know about anything tied to his leg already.

Scene: Yuzuha's room - Encyclopedia 18
"I lift her up and lie her down."
Problem: lay/lie confusion.
Fix: "lie" should be "lay"

Scene: Kuuya and Hakuoro, getting interrupted by Genjimaru
Kuuya--"I said, we are in the middle of and important conversation----"
Problem: Word error.
Fix: "middle of an important"
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spacing bug.

Unread postby md » February 20th, 2008, 3:27 am

Kamyu says, in urutori's room after... I think I just killed Niwe?
"Oji-sama said he had some b
usiness with you"
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Unread postby ThunderCloud » February 20th, 2008, 9:37 pm

http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/1725 ... ta1cf2.jpg
Battle Data -> Evaluation screen
"One Bound to God" is what the graphic say, "The One Under Divine Contract" is what the text box title says. Also, it's too long and sticks out. Also, the text is too long and gets warped.

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/268/ ... ta2ze0.jpg
Same story with Infantry Captain.
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Unread postby Balcerzak » February 23rd, 2008, 5:52 pm

Scene: Oboro's Death quote
Problem: Oboro refers to Hakuoro as Aniki
Fix: Oboro always calls him Anija.

Scene: Passage - Yuzuha Medicine - Encyclopedia 18
Eruruw--"Wouldn't it be better if you lied down?"
Problem: Lay/Lie confusion.
Fix: "Wouldn't it be better if you laid down?"

Scene: Passage - Kamyu bites Aruruw - Encyclopedia 18
Aruruw--"Looking for Kamyuchi~ [linebreak][space] Mukkur, Gacatar."
Problem: Extra space.
Fix: Delete extra space.

Scene: Kuuya Rebukes Hawenkwa - Encyclopedia 18
Kuuya--"They were only puppets, nor did they have any strength to fight any further."
Problem: Awkward, improper use of nor (it needs the first clause to be negative).
Fix: "and they did not have the strength to fight any further."

Hawenkwa--"If things won't move by themselves, we have to start moving."
Problem: Missing word.
Fix: "we have to start them moving."

Scene: Preparing for baby return - Encyclopedia 18
Hakuoro--"They intended to force us to bring the child back, so how did it end up like that?"
Problem: Odd word choice.
Fix: "intended to force us to give the child back,".

Hakuoro--"This sounds bad, but even if it is Urto, she can't escape with Fumruir with her."
Problem: Misspelling.
Fix: "Fumiruir".

Eruruw--"Sorry, if I talked with you earlier, maybe this would not have happened..."
Problem: Verb tense agreement.
Fix: "if I had talked"

Scene - After baby Urto's room - Encyclopedia 18
Urtoriy--"I, an only child, had in my arms a baby."
Problem: Factual error?? Isn't Kamyu her sister? At least she always refers to her as such. . .
Fix: Unknown.

Scene - Kunnekamun attacks - Encyclopedia 18
Doriy--"The Onkamiyamukai has fallen to Kunnekamun."
Problem: Verb tense agreement.
Fix: "have fallen"

Guraa--"The fate of the Oryankur is uknown."
Problem: Misspelling.
Fix: "unknown"

Scene - Hakuoro's true form
A゙ A゙ A゙ A゙ A゙ AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Problem: Japanese diacritic marks appear, and disrupt the scream. (Unless this was intentional)
Fix: The dakuten should be removed.

Scene - Genjimaru Audience - Encyclopedia 19
Sakuya--"No, I----I told him too!"
Problem: Wrong word.
Fix: "told him to"

Hakuoro--"Even if Genjimaru lends us his strength, there still remains the powerful Av Kamiw."
Problem: Subject verb agreement.
Fix: "still remain the"

Benawi--"Emperor, even if we use resistance groups, those are merely the remnants of countries laid waste by Kunnekamun."
Problem: Missing word.
Fix: "laid to waste"

Hakuoro--"Everyone, prepare to move out at a moments notice."
Problem: Plural/Possessive confusion.
Fix: "a moment's notice."

Scene - Having defeated Hien
Hakuoro--"With such a strong grandfather, he must have an inferiority complex. It must have twisted him."
Problem: Verb tense agreement.
Fix: "he must have had"


Scene - Audience with Waabe
"With those words, Waabe crumbles to the floor."
Problem: Wrong word.
Fix: "crumples to the floor"

Scene - Iceman Flashback - Encyclopedia 21
Mizushima--"I see. Well, it's not big deal."
Problem: Missing word.
Fix: "not a big deal."

Scene - Discussing Witsarnemitea - Encyclopedia 22
Karura--"I don't care what God is or to know anything about it."
Problem: Missing word.
Fix: "or want to know anything"

---------
Scene - Omake:
Problem: When talking to Neko, in About Utawarerumono, in the review text pane, the numbers dissappear
(e.g. "5. # of enemies" appears as ". # of enemies")
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You mispelled Eruruu's and Aruruu's name

Unread postby gameboysp13 » February 25th, 2008, 1:28 am

how you typed Eruruu's name Eruruw how it is actually spelt Eruruu
How you spelt Aruru's name Aruruw how it is actually spelt Aruruu :lol:
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Re: You mispelled Eruruu's and Aruruu's name

Unread postby md » February 26th, 2008, 2:40 am

gameboysp13 wrote:how you typed Eruruu's name Eruruw how it is actually spelt Eruruu
How you spelt Aruru's name Aruruw how it is actually spelt Aruruu :lol:

1/10
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Unread postby Konstantin » February 27th, 2008, 7:00 am

Here are the ones I haven't seen mentioned yet. Sorry that I haven't managed to get the encyclopedia numbers for most of them. These are all for 1.1


Benawi
We can always punish with them later if the situation warrants it.

Fix: We can always punish them later if the situation warrants it.


Encyclopedia 16
Hakuoro
There is no need to thank me. To be honest, I was thinking of not supporting you.
But, a woman asked me not to.

Fix: There is no need to thank me. To be honest, I was thinking of not supporting you.
But, a woman asked me to.
(original sounds both awkward and confusing)



Hakuoro
You... must be the one to return him.

Fix: You... must be the one to return her.



I reach down my hand down and touch her down there.

Fix: I lower my hand and touch her down there.
(3 "down"s in a row sound rather awkward)


As my the tip of my tongue brushes past her clit and inside, her entire body arches.

Fix: As the tip of my tongue brushes past her clit and inside, her entire body arches.
(Why do I always find typos in ero scenes?)



[Karura- Karura's true name, but she has long since
waturei]
(The rest of the entry is missing)
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Re: You mispelled Eruruu's and Aruruu's name

Unread postby Irbis » March 2nd, 2008, 3:28 pm

md wrote:
gameboysp13 wrote:how you typed Eruruu's name Eruruw how it is actually spelt Eruruu
How you spelt Aruru's name Aruruw how it is actually spelt Aruruu :lol:

1/10


What does 1/10 mean?

And besides, while a great deal of names in the translation is spelt [sometimes very] differently than in, say, official dubbed translation of anime and/or manga, it isn't a mistake per se as it can be written in several ways... But still, it would be nice to have one name in all of these places :wink:
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Unread postby X-Calibar » March 5th, 2008, 8:18 pm

Example :
(Original)

(Changed)

=== [What or why I suggest a change. Some cases I'm not sure if it is a problem or not] (Additional information where this happens)


TRAINING
[Beginner]
[Attributes Section]

Eruruw
The watespout is Kusu Kami.
It's power is seen if used against
Fumu Kami.

Eruruw
The watespout is Kusu Kami.
Its power is seen if used against
Fumu Kami.

=== [it's]

Eruruw
And the boulder is Tenu Kami.
It is very agressive against Himu Kami!

Eruruw
And the boulder is Tenu Kami.
It is very aggressive against Himu Kami!

=== [agressive]

[Intermediate]
Eruruw
When you attack, a ring will apear. To
combo, Left click on the disappearing
ring as it centers on the enemy.

Eruruw
When you attack, a ring will appear. To
combo, Left click on the disappearing
ring as it centers on the enemy.

=== [apear]

Starting a New Game----------------------------------------------------------------
You... who... ?

You... Who... ?

=== [sounds like yoohoo!] (near beginning)

Hakuoro
I stifle a laugh.

I stifle a laugh.

=== [he doesn't say I stifle a laugh to Eruruw does he?] (first forest scene)

Hakuoro
Anyway, I have to call her again.

Hakuoro
(Anyway, I have to call her again.)

=== [does he really say that outloud?]


between :
Hakuoro
(Just a little more. A little more and we can harvest.)
and :
Teoro
An-chan, it's terrible!

=== [there's a spot where you have to click to continue, enter does not work]'

between :
Sopok
Ah, that. It's a kimamau. They live in
the forest. They are pretty nasty
creatures.
and :
Sopok
From time to time, they come around and
cause a mess, eating everything. But I
didn't think they'd come here.

=== [there's a blank page]

And so the attacking group waits for the
kimaumau.

And so the attacking group waits for the
kimamau.

=== [kimaumau?] (First battle)

First battle is over [E1]----------------------------------------------------------------
Eruruw
Hey,look! So many mororo!

Eruruw
Hey, look! So many mororo!

=== [no space next to hey,look?] (scene after the first battle)

Eruruw
Mm. Well then, please look forward to it too, Hakuoro-san.

=== [at the end of this, you have to click or press enter twice; the first changes Eruruw's graphic, the second continues]

Man
I haven't see you before. Who the hell are you?

Man
I haven't seen you before. Who the hell are you?

=== [see]

between :
The woptar whacks Nuwangi to the ground
and dashes off. Nuwangi is left behind.
and :
Nuwangi
U... ugh...

=== [blank page... is it intentional?]

Hakuoro
I don't know what's going on, but she's
in a good mood. Her tail wags back and
forth.

Hakuoro
(I don't know what's going on, but she's
in a good mood. Her tail wags back and
forth.)

=== [does he say this outloud?]

Hakuoro
But he's your brother, and... oh well.
Why not?

=== [have to click twice to continue] (This is with the first meeting with Yuzuha)

Tuskur
Go ahed and tell us. Knowing you, you
can probably solve this.

Tuskur
Go ahead and tell us. Knowing you, you
can probably solve this.

=== [ahed] (Meeting about taking on more people)

Eruruw
Going out this late? ... Ah!

instead :

Eruruw
Going out this late? ...

and :

Eruruw
Going out this late? ... Ah!

=== [it displays all at once including Ah!, you have to click twice to continue, first time changes her picture, second continues... should it be displayed all at once? or seperately, hiding Ah! till picture change?]

Hakuoro
No, you normally don't call brothers and
sisters friends.

Hakuoro
No, you normally don't call brothers and
sisters, friends.

=== [a comma between sisters friends?]

Hakuoro
Hm. She'd say, "I'm a true friend,
kakakaka..." but that's not it
either...

Hakuoro
Hm. She'd say, "I'm a true friend,
kakakaka...", but that's not it
either...

=== [a comma between the quote and but?]

Hakuoro
Yes please.

Hakuoro
Yes, please.

=== [should there be a comma?]

Hakuoro
What!? Why are you here? Forget about me
and go!

=== [have to click twice in order to continue] (Mutikapa attacks village)

Second battle is over [E2]----------------------------------------------------------------
There's a lot of people around the
village.

=== [There are?]

Aruruw
Are you... going somewhere?

Teoro
No, just a little bit. Just over there.

Teoro
No, just a little walk. Just over there.
or
Teoro
No, not far. Just over there.
or
Teoro
No, not really. Just over there.

=== [Teoro's response "just a little bit", is really awkward...] (Food is returned scene)

Teoro
Nah, it's not big deal. We're just going
over there.

Teoro
Nah, it's not a big deal. We're just
going over there.

=== [not a big deal]

Eruruw
Ah, okay... hmph.

instead :
Eruruw
Ah, okay...

Eruruw
Ah, okay... hmph.

=== [it displays all at once including hmph, you have to click twice to continue, first time changes her picture, second continues... should it be displayed all at once? or seperately, hiding hmph till picture change?]

Tuskur
Yuzha's illness will not end this
easily.

Tuskur
Yuzuha's illness will not end this
easily.

=== [Yuzha...?]

Yuzhuha smiles.

Yuzuha smiles.

=== [Yuzhuha...?]

Tuskur
"Hakuoro, we leave the rest to you."

Tuskur
Hakuoro, we leave the rest to you.

=== [is it supposed to be in quotation marks?] (flashback after Tuskur's death...)

Hakuoro
(But... it's easier said then done.)

Hakuoro
(But... it's easier said than done.)

=== [than is for comparisons, then is for time]

Third battle is over [E3]----------------------------------------------------------------
Hakuoro
Oboro, this isn't a one-on-one fight...
it is a battle!

Hakuoro
Oboro, this isn't a one-on-one fight...
It is a battle!

=== [should It be capitalized?]

Fourth battle is over [E4]----------------------------------------------------------------
Hakuoro
"Do you know what you have done?" was
it?

Hakuoro
"Do you know what you have done?" was
that it?

=== [was that it?]

Oboro
If only I died, this would have ended
here.

and

Hakuoro
... "If only I died?"

Oboro
If only I had died, this would have
ended here.

and

Hakuoro
... "If only I had died?"

=== [If only I had died is the classical phrase I remember hearing a lot.]

Oboro
Heh------hahaha, that's great! That
would be bad, Anija. If food tasted bad,
morale would go down.

=== [Takes two clicks or enter twice to continue]

Kurou
Roger! Here you go!

=== [Takes two clicks or enter twice to continue]

When did she just start eating fruit
like that?

=== [awkward to the circumstance? not sure what would be better though]

Fifth battle is over [E5]----------------------------------------------------------------

[Will be a week or so before I have a chance to continue]
Last edited by X-Calibar on March 11th, 2008, 11:30 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Unread postby Einherjar » March 6th, 2008, 4:04 pm

After the Rakshain war:
Hakuoro:
Didn't I tell you I didn't want to see anything like your bloody neck?
Touka:
...
Touka:
I understand...

Hakuoro:
Ah, you do.

Hakuoro: (isn't that supposed to be Touka instead of Hakuoro???)
So I must commit seppuku then...

Hakuoro:
(You don't understand one bit)

That was confusing.
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Unread postby Ryuusoul » March 13th, 2008, 12:45 am

Einherjar wrote:After the Rakshain war:
Hakuoro:
Didn't I tell you I didn't want to see anything like your bloody neck?
Touka:
...
Touka:
I understand...

Hakuoro:
Ah, you do.

Hakuoro: (isn't that supposed to be Touka instead of Hakuoro???)
So I must commit seppuku then...

Hakuoro:
(You don't understand one bit)

That was confusing.


Sometimes the game just screws up and does this (original). The names and text are stored in completely different places.
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Unread postby Arrowmaster » March 17th, 2008, 4:29 am

Directly after the scene where Touka attacks Oboro for breaking the doll. Encyclopedia 16.

Hakuoro: -sigh-
Hakuoro: Here you go.
Hakuoro: Ah, thanks.

Should be Eruruw saying "Here you go."
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Unread postby X-Calibar » March 17th, 2008, 6:47 am

The problems I reported with "you have to click twice to continue with no visible change" etc, I noticed are actually used by the voice patch. I'll post a corrected report when I get the chance... [so don't worry about those click twice ones just yet... in most cases they have divided text like "Mm." then it should say the rest with the following click.]
EDIT: I mean before the voice patch it looked like just a blank page, but after I hear the voice patch I notice the text is supposed to be divided up; since the voice seems to be
Last edited by X-Calibar on March 17th, 2008, 6:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Unread postby Ryuusoul » March 17th, 2008, 6:47 am

Thundercloud's

Had trouble registering yesterday D;

Version 1.1, in chronological order. Battle number is the same as those listed here.

My level doesn't really help because I've kinda cheated at the beginning.

I've left the error I found that have already been previously mentioned because I thought they may have the editor find the places.

Prologue
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/untitled.JPG
'quietly' misspelled as 'quetly'.

Between 2nd and 3rd battle 3rd battle being opening gate
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/ultitle3-1.jpg
'not' misspelled as 'no'.

http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/untitled3-2.jpg
Whole phase sounds weird.
"Do you hate hearing so much that you just like to raise your pet called "Yuzuha"?
Possible improvement:
"Do you hate hearing that you like raising a pet named "Yuzuha" so much?"
Or
"Do you hate hearing this? That you like raising a pet named "Yuzuha".



http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/untitled3-4.jpg
minor "You think to use this ground Miw Kouha?" sounds slightly weird and doens't convey the meaning well.
Possible improvement:
"You intend to use ground Miw Kouha?"
"You wish to rely on ground Miw Kouha?"

http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/untitled3-5.jpg
very minor: In the scene after Yuzuha almost died, I had a tough time figuring out who's elbowing who, I had to go back and read it twice. Maybe that's just me. :P
Possible improvement:
Replace "she" with whatever that old woman's name is.

http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/untitled3-6.jpg
might not be an actual error How he said it and the situation seems a bit awkward.
"Weaklings sure talk a lot, just like you!"
Possible improvement: "Weaklings like you sure talk a lot!"

http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/untitled3-7.jpg
Missing 've
"Now you've said it!"

Reported in this post
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/untitled3-8.jpg
"... I have something I to ask of you."
There's an extra "I" in there.


3rd battle
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/untitled4-0.jpg
"When it opens, those outside can come it."
'in' misspelled as 'it'.

After battle Point of no Return, which is probably the 3rd battle
Reported in this post
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... return.jpg
"If it wasn't for now, I would like to talk about many things..." sounds weird
Possible improvement:
If it wasn't for the situation we're in, I would like to talk about many things...

Reported in this post
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... eturn2.jpg
Bad line break.


Reported in this post
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... eturn3.jpg
Missing a space.

Reported in this post
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... eturn4.jpg
Missing "for" at the end of the first line, before the 2nd.


http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... eturn5.jpg
"Well---certainly we're not used to using woptars to just ride on." sounds weird.
Possible improvement that converys the meaning more directly:
"Well---we're certainly not used to using woptars as mounts (or rides)."

After battle 5 where you got aruruw
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... untain.jpg
"She is an herbalist after all."
'hero' is misspelled as 'herbalist'.

After battle 7 and when Eruruw was talking to Nuwangi
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/gate.jpg
"With just a little happiness, it'll be alright." First of all, incorrense tense, and it sounds weird.
possible improvements
"With just a little happiness, it would be alright."
"A little happiness would be enough."
"It would have been alright with just a bit of happiness."

Between battle 8 or battle 9 (after beating Kurou and before benawi)
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/capital.jpg
'Are' is missing from the line:
"Our forces are exhausted and (are) no longer able to stop them."

After battle 9
Reported in this post
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... battle.jpg
I think 'to' is missing from this sentence:
"You intend on just running away? You have a duty to see things through (to) the end."

Reported in this post
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... attle2.jpg
there's an extra 'i' in 'fiighting'.

Reported in this post
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... attle3.jpg
'ahead' is misspelled as 'a head'


The following three seem to have the text associated with the wrong name:
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... attle4.jpg
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... attle5.jpg
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... attle6.jpg

Sorry i have no idea where this is. it's the scene where Eruruw combs and cuts hair
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/Capture_22.jpg
(Unsure if this is an error) "Aruruw looks content the more Eruruw combs her hair"
Possible improvements:
"Aruruw looks more content the more Eruruw combs her hair."
"The more Eruruw combs Aruruw's hair the more content Aruruw looks."

Reported in this post
The scene where Hakuroro gets Touka drunk so he can sleep
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/underwater.jpg
"I see first time with this kind of sake." should be changed to:
"The first time with this kind of sake I see."


Before the battle where you have to protect Karura's brother for the first time

http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano/na%20tunk.jpg
minor "All that remains is the man whose men were reduced to corpses."
I had to read this twice to understand what it meant. Maybe I was sleepy.
Easier to understand/more to the point:
"All that remains is the man whose subordinates (or friends) were reduced to corpses."

Reported in this post
http://skynet.sprintslash.net/rayromano ... choppy.jpg
'They' is misspelled as 'The' in "The are quite strong enough."
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Unread postby Arrowmaster » March 17th, 2008, 10:55 am

Encyclopedia 19, after Genjimaru comes to Tuskur.

Touka: Among us Evenkurga, Genjimaru-sama is an uparalleled hero. He is a living legend.

Should be unparalleled.
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