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When Types have Troubles... (Nasuverse background spoiler)

Unread postPosted: August 8th, 2007, 10:13 pm
by Nerroth
Hi.

I made this up today. Apologies in advance...




Several thousand years ago.

While humanity had evolved on the Earth over the course of hundreds, nay thousands of centuries, Gaia had been content to let these odd creatures shuffle around from place to place.

However, the humans started to do things which made Gaia nervous.

They started putting rocks on the end of sticks, and used them to cut down trees and kill off wildlife.

They then used the trees and wildlife thus killed to build shelters, clothing, and sea-going craft, and started to spread to ever more distant parts of the Earth's surface.

And then some of the little blighters started to figure out how to create fire.

For Gaia, who suddenly had terrible visions of the potential ecological devastation these humans could one day cause, and yet had little direct means of doing anything about them, it was time to ask for a little help...



T.Earth> Hello? Is anyone there?
T.Moon> Hi! How are you?
T.Earth> Well, now that you mention it, I'm kinda...
T.Mercury> ORT says hello, to pretty blue planet!
T.Earth> Oh, ORT, you're such a sweet-heart-analogue.
T.Mercury> ORT go heehee!
T.Venus> What's up sis? Air not noxious enough for ya?
T.Earth> No, I'm still content with my oxy-nitrogen mix, but thanks for asking.
T.Moon> She's just jealous she doesn't have a cool moon like me to help her out!
T.Venus> AM NOT!
T.Mars> I miss my old atmosphere... and my 'moons' are little runts, if you ask me.
T.Phobos> Boss planet is mean!
T.Deimos> Maybe we fall and hit his volcano-mountains - that show him!
T.Mars> Quiet, you two!
T.Phobos> We sorry...
T.Deimos> *cries*
T.Mars> Sigh... So, what's up, Gaia?
T.Earth> Well, aside from the odd cataclysm every sixty-to-eighty-odd million years, I'm usually fine - with a nice, wonderous diversity of host organisms on my land, in my soil, through my skies and in my oceans. It's wonderful.
T.Mars> I used to have cool stuff like that, too...
T.Moon> Go on.
T.Earth> Well, I seem to have the beginnings of some trouble with these new creatures called 'humans'. They've spread across my landmasses, setting fires, chopping down forests, building... things, and by and large causing me some bother.
T.Earth> It's not too bad so far, but I'm worried that these humans will be a big problem in the future. And I'm not sure what to do.
T.Mars> Why not ask Type-Jupiter for help? I hear he has some experience with some sort of beings like this...
T.Jupiter> I'm afraid I can't offer much help, my dear. The 'creatures' in question are planting all sorts of odd monoliths on my moons...
T.Europa> We're NOT your moons!
T.Io> Yeah, you big bully!
T.Callisto> Satellites of the Sol System, unite!
T.Ganymede> You have nothing to lose but your orbits!
T.Moon> *thinks to himself* Orbits, eh? Hmm...
T.Jupiter> ...Damned uppity Galileans...
T.Jupiter> And now I hear rumours that they want to fill my atmosphere with these monoliths, and somehow turn me into a new star!
T.Saturn> Ouch. And my moon system is so peaceful... well, Titan needs to cut down on his hydrocarbon use, and Enceladus likes spraying her water everywhere -
T.Enceladus> Tee-hee!
T.Titan> I'm a bad little boy.
T.Saturn> - but nothing like that, big fellow!
T.Jupiter> I don't even know what being a star is like...
T.Sol> Hot. Trust me.
T.Moon> ...
T.Moon> So anyway, back to Gaia-chan's problem.
T.Moon> What would you like us to do?
T.Earth> Well, I was wondering if you guys could send a bit of help, in case these humans get out of hand...
T.Mercury> ORT COME HELP! ORT READY TO GO!
T.Earth> Slow down, ORT, it's still several thousand years too early...
T.Mercury> *ORT crash-lands in South America - and finds almost no humans to devour*
T.Mercury> ORT say aww... ORT make sleepy time, wait for humans to kill!
T.Mercury> *snooze...*
T.Earth> Oh, dear. So like I said, I might not need help right this moment...
T.Venus> Sorry, but I'm under too much pressure as it is!
T.Mars> And I'm feeling winded, almost sandblasted, even.
T.Jupiter> And I'm the one who needs help, with these bloody monoliths!
T.Saturn> It's always the monoliths with you, isn't it!
T.Jupiter> I can't help it, they're everywhere!
T.Saturn> As you can see, Gaia-chan, I have my hands full with your nii-san...
T.Saturn> And the outer worlds aren't answering phone calls - ever since we first mispronounced Type-Uranus' name...
T.Moon> Heh heh, heh - that was funny.
T.Earth> Quite.
T.Moon> *After thinking some more* Tell you what sis - I'll help you!
T.Earth> *mood lifts* Really? You will? That's so nice!
T.Moon> *hides a a smirk* Anything for my dear Gaia-chan...
T.Moon> I'll call you back in a bit with more info, ok?
T.Earth> OK!
T.Earth> Later!

*Conversation ends*

T.Moon> *cackling maniacally* Yes, that's right Gaia-chan - I'll be sending you all the 'help' you'll ever need...

Unread postPosted: August 9th, 2007, 4:58 am
by marus
Uhh... wtf? Cute I guess, but... seriously, wtf?

...

In an attempt to say something at least somewhat contributing: has Japanese culture finally spread far enough to where separate planets see fit to refer to each other by -chan?

Unread postPosted: August 9th, 2007, 7:33 am
by Chetyre
so... type-moon is kohaku's mother?

and lol at type-uranus

Unread postPosted: August 9th, 2007, 9:18 am
by Sobzob
Chetyre wrote:and lol at type-uranus


I didn't get that before I read your post, but it's certainly a lol.

Unread postPosted: August 9th, 2007, 12:29 pm
by Nerroth
Apparently, the presence of both ORT and the Crimson Moon on Earth are due to an invitation sent out by Gaia, looking for assistance in maintaining balance in the face of humanity.

ORT answered the call, but showed up far too early, so went to have a loooong nap...

Type-Moon agreed to send 'help', but ended up trying to conquer the Earth, and got whipped by Zel.

Or, at least, so it says here...


And I decided to have a little fun with the whole 'calling other Types for help' thing.

No, it's not meant to be taken too seriously.

Unread postPosted: November 21st, 2007, 9:14 pm
by kensain
I can just see zeltretch saying that story to little Arcuied-chan and concluding with
"And that's how you were born."

Unread postPosted: November 21st, 2007, 10:50 pm
by JimmyT64
And when she grew up and found out what an IRC conversation was, she went insane?

....that makes more sense than it should.

Unread postPosted: January 6th, 2008, 7:09 am
by serialies
i lol'ed at type-uranus...but this prob belongs in the fan fic area :o