First Kill

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First Kill

Unread postby abscess » August 17th, 2008, 12:41 pm

As you may have guessed, it is another Tsukihime fanfic from my part (I've never played F/SN, nor watched the anime... yet). This time I intended to explore a character that has been oh so very much ignored by everybody, so much more than Sacchin, or even Arihiko. So, I ask you to try and guess who this character is.
____________________________________________________

The throbbing of the artery...... With the blade of the knife I can feel how her pulse rises after I put the edge against her neck. I closed her mouth forcefully with my free left hand. After that she has been struggling to get away. I can still taste the fainting moisture of her breath still hanging in the air, it is rather salty. She is looking at me with bloodshot eyes. The glazed expression on them is a hint of how utterly confused and scared she must be feeling right now. Her fingers clench on my left arm as they move frantically trying to find some kind of escape. Too bad, it all seemed easier in the beginning.

First I pierce the skin, then I go for the carotid artery. Not stopping there I continue cutting until the windpipe is completely slashed from side to side. I had the intention of going on until reaching the other side of the neck, but the angle of the movement isn't very comfortable for me.

After that blood begins pouring from the open gash as if a spring had been broken, letting it all flow out at once. The girl falls to her knees, a plastic clattering sound from her cellphone rings in this closed space, then she slams on the floor making dull, wet and thick thud. Her eyes are unfocused, moving to every direction as if trying to understand her situation. The mouth opens and closes making gruesome gurgles as the torso convulses violently unable to get air anymore.

This...

The small poodle of crimson fluid grows to become a pool. Weak ripples are created by the still twitching hands, enveloping the whole body in cymbals of red. The colored liquid creeps in between every strand of hair dying it into a glowing mess. Her clothes are now drenched in it and the smell of iron starts to stagnate in here.

Inside of me...

The still growing pool stops.
The ripples stop.
The body moves no more.

A surge from my lower abdomen invades all of my senses.

Not only the corpse in front of me ceases to move.
Time has stopped it's continuous march.
The pounding of my heart has died down.
The noise from the outside is deafened to non-existence.
Even light and gravity have lost any meaning.

As electricity courses through my thorax reaching every limb, the tingling in my fingers, toes and nose deepens the floating sensation embracing my nape and lower back.

I slowly lose the sense of myself. First my feet, then my hands gradually fade away. Legs and arms follow until there is nothing left inside the corner of my mind devoid of reality. But my eyes...... they manage to stay.

Above, the distant figures of the clouds greet me with an apparent invitation to try and reach out to them. They do nothing else but stand there, looking down. Like a child I attempt to do so....

Until....

I can feel my nose again. A stench seeps into it coating the inside of my throat with filth and blood. The clouds, now moving, no longer care about my presence. The light reflected from the pool of blood in the center of the alley, assaults my eyes like a spear piercing flesh and bone. The tight grip I've kept on the knife has numbed my fingers. The blaring noise of passing cars, unintelligible chatter and footsteps hitting the concrete floor. All of it pulls me out of my delusion.

I've crawled back into the damp atmosphere of this world.

At any rate. I have to move on.

----------------------------------------

"...What I saw were bits and pieces. I saw a few people in pools of blood and someone with a scary face who was holding a knife.
It was dark, so there's nothing to help me identify the locations. But I only saw one person at a time, so I don't think they get killed in the same place."
"One person at a time, huh? So how many were there total?"

"... There were three. The first is a girl about my age. She's tanned with dyed hair that's about this long."
I silently nod, asking her to continue...
____________________________________________________

That's it. For those of you (if there are) who recognize those three dialogues, I'm pretty sure you have it nailed right now. Since I shamelessly copied those lines I have to give thanks to everyone who worked in it, but since it's a long list of people I'll do this:
-Special Thanks:
Everyone who worked in
Tsukihime Plus+Disk's
game development and translation.
As always, I ask you to read and review, thanks in advance. Later.
____________________________________________________
Edit: Fixed some typos I found.
Last edited by abscess on August 17th, 2008, 7:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"I settled for that shriek. Those dull vacant eyes... oiled cabbage stench of her...! [...] You know what? I'm sorry if I'm not gonna do this the way you want me to or the way you might. But I will not make an angel out of someone who wasn't an angel...!" -Chief Tyrol, on his beloved wife.
Have you heard about the saying that goes something like "drunk people and kids tell no lies"? Well, that's just a fallacy.
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abscess
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Re: First Kill

Unread postby zweiterversuch » August 17th, 2008, 2:10 pm

Wow...
The first time I read it I had to touch my neck and say "Ouch!"
The descriptoin of the scenery and events that take place in it are so good I almost felt like I coould see them. Really, really bloody.

Anyway, was it Roa or Satzuki?
Or Dead Shiki?
Evil Ryu maybe?
http://visualnoveldai.com/
If you want to create your own visual novel go there!
Try it out, no compromise!
8 inches in a week!

btw Princess Tutu is still Awesome!!!
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Re: First Kill

Unread postby abscess » August 18th, 2008, 12:55 am

zweiterversuch wrote:Wow...
The first time I read it I had to touch my neck and say "Ouch!"
The descriptoin of the scenery and events that take place in it are so good I almost felt like I coould see them. Really, really bloody.

Anyway, was it Roa or Satzuki?
Or Dead Shiki?
Evil Ryu maybe?

Really? I tried to make it as bloody as I could, but wasn't completely satisfied with the result. I wrote it all in one night to see if I could do this kind of scenes.

As for the characters, no, it isn't Roa, since that's a character that everybody remembers. It isn't Satsuki either, she is well known and has her set of fanfics too. It can't be a dead Shiki because.... well, he would be dead, dead guys do nothing, really. And... no, Evil Ryu is from Street Fighter... The dialogue in the ending makes it pretty obvious who the character is, and the spoiler is a much obvious hint.
"I settled for that shriek. Those dull vacant eyes... oiled cabbage stench of her...! [...] You know what? I'm sorry if I'm not gonna do this the way you want me to or the way you might. But I will not make an angel out of someone who wasn't an angel...!" -Chief Tyrol, on his beloved wife.
Have you heard about the saying that goes something like "drunk people and kids tell no lies"? Well, that's just a fallacy.
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abscess
I can haz postingz nao? K thx
 
Posts: 1939
Joined: April 25th, 2008, 10:08 am
Location: Parmistan lol


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