Blood Shot Eyes

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Blood Shot Eyes

Unread post by Donvermicelli » July 31st, 2008, 9:18 pm

I wrote a little when I got bored yesterday
The narrator is an orphan male 17 years old he lives alone a western style mansion.

What's written below is all I could think of in 3 hours, please leave comments and critic

Chapter one: Beginning

It's dark and cold, I can feel the cold wind passing me.
In the distance I see a girl, she looks lost.
The eyes looking straight at me...those eyes...

I wake up sweating. It must have been that dream again.
I've been having the same drame over and over again for the past 2 months.
I always wake up the moment I gaze into those eyes. As if those eyes are trying to tell me something.
I look sideways out of the window, it's dark outside and it's raining.
Not feeling tired I dicide to get out of bed and get some food. I walk out of the room into the hall, go right and enter the last room on the left.
It's the livingroom. For a moment you think you see something but when you try to look closer it's gone.
"hmm.. must be my mind playing tricks on me."
I move on into the kitchen search for some leftovers from last night in the fridge.
The microwave is set for five minutes. "should be enough"...with a cheerful Ding! the microwave indicates that my food is ready.
Sitting down on the couch and quietly eating the meal, I'm still thinking about that dream....

When I wake up it's 7.00 after looking around and see the plate upside down on the ground.
" I must have fallen asleep while eating.." a small groan, a spliting headache curses my head.
After my head cooled down a bit I decided to hury before I'd miss class, I ran to the school still breathing heavily when I arrived.

--Edited the story a bit adding new content in the next post--
Thanks for pointing out the mistake ayadew :wink:
Last edited by Donvermicelli on August 1st, 2008, 7:47 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Unread post by ayadew » July 31st, 2008, 9:25 pm

A guy alone, first reffering to himself as 'I'. Then 'you' pops up out of nowhere? Is this a person in a different place?
I'm confused...

You should really wait with releasing a story this short, it's somewhat pointless.. nothing has happened, there are no characters, there is nothing really. =p
The instant I tear off your limbs, rip open your chest and pull out your intestines, biting into your neck as you ask for mercy, chewing through your eyes and spreading your brains on the ground like butter-------!

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Unread post by Donvermicelli » August 1st, 2008, 7:45 am

"Morning Senpai!" a cheerfull voice behind me, It's Yuki. We've know each other since we were kids, since even before that 'accident'.
"Morning.." I manage to say with some difficulty. "Senpai, you seem tired something happened?" she looks at me with a concerend face.
It's hard to lie to her but I don't want to concern her with my troubles eiter."No, I'm fine. I just had trouble sleeping that's all."
A slight sign of relief can be seen on the girl's face. "Well I'm glad to hear it's nothing serious but you should take care Senpai. Even you need sleep."
"Thanks I'll keep that in mind"


The school bell indicates that students should go to their classes.
"Well then, I'll be seeing you around Senpai." "Yeah later Yuki" She runs off to the stairs since her classes are one floor below from here.
I turn around and walk into my classroom, homeroom is starting.


*Yawn* Classes are over already, I've seemed to sleep through most of it.
After gathering my things and closing my bags I head for the school gate, there I hear a familliar voice behind me.
"Senpai!...Senpai!.. wait up!" It's Yuki. "Senpai, can you walk me home today?" "Eh..?!" it's all I can bring out. "Well you see Anita is sick and it's boring to walk all the way alone, besides your places isn't that far off. It's a small detour at most." "I guess it can't be helped then, let's go." A smile forms on her face and she happily struds next to me. After a while she asks me something. "Senpai...mind if I ask you something?" "Not at all go ahead." "You seem kind of down lately, is there any chance you'd be willing to tell me what's bothering you?" In spite of my efforts to hide it she allways manages to look straight through me. "Sigh..I guess nothing get's by you huh?" "Nope, that's why I'm asking" she says with a smile. "Well lately I've been having this dream..I'm standing alone, right where 'it' happened and I can't help but notice this person who is staring at me intensly. When I look back at ther I wake up. It's..somehwat disturbing." "Senpai..." "It's nothing you have to concern yourself with Yuki, I'm sure it will pass." I try not to worry her but it's just impossible to hide anything from her. "Yuki, we're here." "Oh..thanks Senpai. I'll be going then." "Yeah take care, see you tomorrow." "You too Senpai, try not to worry too much." "I will, later" And I depart still thinking I shouldn't have told her.

I decide to walk to the park to clear my head a bit. The silence there, the calm, it always comforts me for some reason I do not know. I'm stuck thinking again about that dream..
I wake up. My watch indicates 23.45 I must have fallen asleep again, the sky is dark and the only remaining light is coming from the lamp posts.
Just when I decide to get up I hear a noise.

*ristle..* *ristle..*

The noise is coming from ahead, it's deeper into the park. For no reason at all I start moving in the direction of the noise. It's no use trying to do anything else since my body seems to move on it's own. RUN... RUN ... My mind screams at me for not listening to it because I'm still moving in the same direction. I arrive at the deepest point of the park. There's barely light here since the area is almost completly enclosed by trees. There the center, it's the source of the noice. As you move closer you see a white haired girl leaning over a man. The man's limbs are motionless. *SNAP* I stepped on a twig. The girl who was leaning over the man on the ground seems to have noticed me and is turning away from him to me. Her mouth is filled with blood and two bleach white fangs are sticking out of it. The girl looks at me with a tender smile. Those eyes....

--End of chapter one--

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Unread post by Donvermicelli » August 1st, 2008, 12:22 pm

Chapter two: Awekening

I wake up drenched in sweat. The alarm clock indicates 9.20 "wha...I'm late!" After quickly putting on some clothes I run full speed to school.
You arrive just after lunch break.


"pff just in time." Classes resume, maths is planned for this hour but for some reason your homeroom teacher walks in.
Class, I have an announcement. Koyzumi Sensei has been in an accident to he won't come to teach for a while, since there
is no repleacement for him as of yet, I will be giving an extra homeroom class during this hour.
In addition there is also a new student I'd like to introduce you to.
The door opens and a beatifull girl with white hair walks in. " name is Mizuki Matsuko, pleased to meet you."
I can't get my eyes off her. THROB..ngh.. THROB.. "wha.." my heart races and my body freezes.
It's afraid, afraid of the beatifull girl standing there in front of the class. THROB.. THROB.. If this keeps up I'll faint.
THROB...THROB.....A scream from someone in my class. "Kanada-kun, are you allright?" THROB..THROB.. I can't hold on and I start to faint. "Kanada-kun!"

When I come to I find myself in an unfamilliar bed. "ah..guess I'm in the nurse's office" "Keiichi, are you allright?" It's Yuki, she's sitting next to me quite visibly shocked. "Yeah, guess I fainted from lack of sleep or something." another lie. I just hope she doesn't see past this one.
"You idiot!, I told you to take it easy. You had me worried sick." She seems ready to cry so I try to reassure her. "I know, I'm sorry. It won't happen again." "You promise?" "Yeah, I do."
"Then I guess it's ok." while she says so she seems to calm down. "Are you sure you are allright?" she asks me one last time to make sure. "Yeah I'm fine. Go back to your class, I'll head home to catch some rest."

I take a look at the clock, it's 13.45 School's over in about an hour. I guess I can head home a bit earlier and catch some rest there.
On my way out to the school gate I feel eyes watching me. I take one glance back and dismiss it as nausea. After a small walk I arrive at the park, after this it's only a small distance to my house. Then it strikes me. Those eyes, they're on me again. Looking at me is the white haired girl. THROB... RUN my mind is going crazy it shouts as loud as it can, I have to run there is no other alternative, if I stay I will die. THROB... but again my body and mind are in disagreement. I keep on walking to her. I have to, even if it's the last thing I do. My feet drag me forwards. As they do I notice I familliar smell. It's a smell I know too well but I can't seem to remember. Then, as if a hammer is dropped on my head I realize what the smell is..Blood.
I feel sick. I feel like throwing up but I can't. It's the same, my body and mind want two diffirent things. I'm nearing her now. I'm so close that I can hear her breathing. For no reason at all as if she's enjoying my agony she smiles. "It's been a long time. You seem to have forgotten, let me refresh your memory." and then out of nowhere she kisses me. My mind is going crazy and my vision turns red, so red that I can't see. My head..The pain.. It hurts.. All I want is to let it go. Let go of it all, let go of the pain..

My senses return. I feel cold and my head still hurts. I look around. It's red, all of it is red. Blood is painted all over the walls of the alley. "wha..." "Morning." a warm and gentle voice behind me. I turn around and see that it's her. The girl with the white hair. "Who are you?" is all I can manage.
"Huh?, I had hoped you would have remembered."
"remembered what?"
"everything" she says. "I've been looking all over for you for the past five years."
"because you were taking from me by hunters."
"sigh.. it seems you don't remember a thing do you?"
"nothing, all I can remember are the past four years of my life, the rest of it is blank."
"Hmm.. so net even the taste of blood made you remember?" "Taste of...blood?"
"Yeah you slashed his limbs off and sucked him dry." "Wha?!?!..I DID WHAT?"
"Look around you those walls don't paint themselves with blood."
"I couldn't have..." "Let me explain.. You, are a vampire. Not just any vampire you're one of noble blood. "
"Impossible, like those even excist!"
"Sigh, I can't believe that your thickheadness has only grown with the years." "Eh.."
"It seems that this is futile, I can't stand you like this. When you decide to accept it talk to me, I'm out of here."
The white haired girl stands up and walks out of the room. All I can do is stare at her dumbfounded.
Now that I look around I recognize the room I'm in, it's my own. "wai..WHAT!?!" There is no doubt about it, I'm in my own house and
in my own room and the walls are splattered with blood. "I have to be dreeming, yeah that's it. I'm dreaming.
If I sleep and wake up it will all be over." I decide to ignore the disturbing room and decide to sleep in the guestroom. I never use it anyways.
A silent thud and you fall asleep.

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