Page 1 of 1

Remaning Ashes.(Typemoon fanfic...a little + 18)

Unread postPosted: July 19th, 2008, 2:38 am
by zweiterversuch
edit

Unread postPosted: July 19th, 2008, 4:30 am
by abscess
You seem to like Akiha quite a lot, since you've written about her in another story (or other two? I can't remember). I liked this one since a very minor character shows up. The prose is easy to read but I got stuck a bit in some parts, but nothing major. Good job.

Something to note here, you make it as if Shiki and Tokie act like they don't know each other in the beginning, but, if I'm not wrong, they knew each other fairly well, since Shiki, and even Kiri, went to see his father when needed medical assistance. Even Kohaku knows her, since she learned about medicine with Tokie's father.

Unread postPosted: July 19th, 2008, 10:59 am
by zweiterversuch
edit