Heaven's Hell

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Heaven's Hell

Unread postby zweiterversuch » June 11th, 2008, 4:11 pm

edit
Last edited by zweiterversuch on December 7th, 2008, 2:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
http://visualnoveldai.com/
If you want to create your own visual novel go there!
Try it out, no compromise!
8 inches in a week!

btw Princess Tutu is still Awesome!!!
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Unread postby ayadew » June 11th, 2008, 9:22 pm

I really like it, and it must be the best you've written so far too.
You know the characters and their situation, putting that which isn't explicitly named yet felt into a convincing form.
The instant I tear off your limbs, rip open your chest and pull out your intestines, biting into your neck as you ask for mercy, chewing through your eyes and spreading your brains on the ground like butter-------!
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Unread postby abscess » June 11th, 2008, 10:03 pm

Hmmm... Nice!
It reminds me quite a bit of Flower of Thanatos side story in KT.
"I settled for that shriek. Those dull vacant eyes... oiled cabbage stench of her...! [...] You know what? I'm sorry if I'm not gonna do this the way you want me to or the way you might. But I will not make an angel out of someone who wasn't an angel...!" -Chief Tyrol, on his beloved wife.
Have you heard about the saying that goes something like "drunk people and kids tell no lies"? Well, that's just a fallacy.
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Unread postby zweiterversuch » June 12th, 2008, 6:28 am

Yeahh it is a little like that.
Actually I didn't try to make copy or resemble that Side story.
http://visualnoveldai.com/
If you want to create your own visual novel go there!
Try it out, no compromise!
8 inches in a week!

btw Princess Tutu is still Awesome!!!
zweiterversuch
$dead
 
Posts: 1424
Joined: February 7th, 2008, 6:53 pm

Unread postby ayadew » June 12th, 2008, 7:43 am

The only likeless I can see to Flower of Thanatos is a dominant relationship, everything else is.. not?
The special parts of Flower of Thanatos are: A secure and detatched world, two willing maids and not much more, it's quite a shallow story. =p
The instant I tear off your limbs, rip open your chest and pull out your intestines, biting into your neck as you ask for mercy, chewing through your eyes and spreading your brains on the ground like butter-------!
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Unread postby abscess » June 12th, 2008, 8:56 pm

Not quite. Shiki feels pretty much angry at that state. He feels no matter what happens in that place nothing will really ever change. He has raped Kohaku and Hisui and they still are there for him, not scared, not grossed out or anything, even stay lovingly at his service.

Why I say it resembles that story is because Shiki, Hisui and Kohaku live in a dream like world where nothing happens, there are never food problems, raining or even other people living there, much less visiting. Not even aware of how much time has passed in reality, he grew tired and angry at them, Kohaku and Hisui, and himself. The only thing that keeps him (if I remember correctly) "sane" is the acts of violence he does against the maids. Something like that happens in this story but reversed. In this story the main character is imprisoned in this dreamworld against his will (at least that's what I think) whereas Shiki "entered" that world willingly only to find it horribly dull.

Please, don't get me wrong, I have never said "this is a crap-copy of X story", in fact I liked it. Punishments that don't resemble at all any kind of punishment but are incredibly effective is something I find interesting to explore and enjoy such readings/movies/something. Keep it up, dude!
"I settled for that shriek. Those dull vacant eyes... oiled cabbage stench of her...! [...] You know what? I'm sorry if I'm not gonna do this the way you want me to or the way you might. But I will not make an angel out of someone who wasn't an angel...!" -Chief Tyrol, on his beloved wife.
Have you heard about the saying that goes something like "drunk people and kids tell no lies"? Well, that's just a fallacy.
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abscess
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Unread postby ayadew » June 13th, 2008, 11:42 am

Yes, when you explain the Thanatos story again I can see the likeness. It seems I had forgotten the key parts of it
The instant I tear off your limbs, rip open your chest and pull out your intestines, biting into your neck as you ask for mercy, chewing through your eyes and spreading your brains on the ground like butter-------!
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ayadew
Totally hardly posted
 
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