Nameless Fic

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Nameless Fic

Unread postby abscess » May 7th, 2008, 1:40 am

Hi. I thought it was a good moment for some shameless self-promotion. I bring to you a fic that I have been working for a while, but that doesn't mean that I have much done... Anyway, it's only the first chapter and would like to get some critical reviews if possible. Thanks.
The story takes part two months after Hisui's Good Ending (but I've been thinking to changing it into three or four months) and without further delay, here it is.

---
CHAPTER ONE
---
I think I should be leaving now. It's not that I'll arrive late if I don't hurry; I just feel this rush to start my day already.
"Alright, I should go..."
Picking myself up from the chair in the sitting room, I mutter those words to myself. Not expecting anyone to hear me, I walk to the door.
"Shiki-san, are you going to school already??
I'm a little surprised, I let my defense down thinking I was about to slip away unnoticed.
"Um... Yeah. Is there a problem to it?"
I ask Kohaku-san, who is only sticking out her head from the sitting room with an expression of light astonishment, for lack of a better word. Not showing that blooming smile of hers she usually has all the time, she looks at me and speaks.
"Umm... No, not really. I just thought that it was a little out of the ordinary that you left early!"
That's a little rude on her part; it's not that out of the ordinary for me to leave early. Only these last couples of months have been different but I doubt she remembers. She gets out of the sitting room and walks up to me.
"You usually leave when there are only twenty minutes left before class!"
She says that with a giggling voice. Now I feel like I'm being laughed at.
"Yeah, thanks for mocking my habits.? With an annoyed look, I answer this girl in front of me, but she just laughs more.
"Huhuhu! Sorry if I made you angry. Anyway, is there something special you want to eat when you get back?"
What a sudden change of her. May be she was just trying to cheer me up, that or have a little fun at my expenses, most likely a mix of both of them. Whichever it is, I feel a little more awake and vivid.
"Hmm... Well, why don't you..."
That's right... I can't ask her to prepare the feasts she used to make. Most likely she won't remember how to make them. But, why did she ask me then?
"Is there something wrong, Shiki-san?"
"Eh? Uh, no, why don't you try something new with that recipe book? I'm getting kinda tired of eating the same food over and over! Heheh."
"Right!"
"By the way, how is Hisui doing, is she any better?"
"Yes, I checked on her a little while ago. It seems her fever is gone. Maybe tomorrow she'll wake you up!"
"Let's hope so, or I'll be late for school as usual!"
We both laugh. After that she sees me off to the gate and goes inside.
----
I walk along the road, not paying much attention to the scenery. It's not likely to change, same buildings, same places, same road. Only the people vary, but I don't have a habit to pay attention to where they are going or what they are doing. Although I find it a little boring walking the same path; sometimes it is a bit relaxing from all the rush I felt just a couple months ago and the somewhat stressing atmosphere in the mansion. If that kept up, I'm afraid I would have failed in a subject or two in school. I hope that doesn't happen, going to classes during winter break is not something I want. Anyway, since I have some time to kill, I'll check on Arihiko. I'm pretty sure I'll have wake him up, that lazy bum.
----
I arrive at Arihiko's place and approach the front door. There seems to be some kind of sound coming from the other side. How strange, seems he is awake. I knock a little harder than I usually do, just to bother him a little. The sound stops, and suddenly I hear footsteps getting near the door. When the door opens I see my friend's somewhat pale face. Not only is he pale, he looks weak, even his shoulders are down. So different from the energetic character I'm accustomed to.
"What is it..."
"... Hello..."
Wow, even his voice sound incredibly hoarse.
"Were you drinking until late?"
I say this jokingly, although, I wouldn't put it outside of the possible explanations for his current state.
"Shut up, Tohno."
He moves to the side to let me in, but I hesitate a little. If he is sick I don't want to catch it, much less from him. I enter anyway; I don't want to make him any more uncomfortable.
"Close the door, quickly!"
I do as I'm told and close it. After that he goes to the table and sits, more like he throws himself to the chair, with a soundly thud. A little stronger and he would have fell along with the chair.
"You must have a great hangover, to not even say a proper 'hello'!"
"Cut that out, will ya...?"
To not be able to stand a little joking, especially from my part, is strange. He must be feeling awful.
"So, what do you have?"
"Sick..."
"I can see that..."
"The flu, a cold or something, I dunno..."
He starts coughing a little. He grabs his head with his left hand. His voice not only sounds hoarse but nasal, maybe he can't breathe well. Now that I look with more detail, his face isn't as pale as I thought, it has a pale tint of red, his eyes, too, are red.
"Think I'm gonna puke... pass me that..."
He points to a trash bin. Again, I do as told. Man, I don't want to see that.
"Why don't you go to a doctor? Make your sister take you."
"...Idiot passed me this..."
"Hmmm! Then she has to!"
"She isn't that well herself..."
I doubt this is a common cold; this must be influenza or something. Crap, I better start taking some medication myself, before I get the symptoms. I want to run like hell away from here, but still, he is sick, I should help him a little.
"What do you nee-aah.... Ugh..."
I don't even finish speaking and he starts throwing up. What an astounding noise he makes. It's like he yells an incredible battle cry at his... whatever that is that's coming out of him, each time it falls to the trash bin. I think an important part of it was transparent, almost crystal clear, maybe gastric acid. What an idiot, he most likely didn't eat dinner; maybe he was feeling really bad.
"Here, a glass of water"
"... Thanks."
"So, what do you need?"
"Food?and meds..."
He just threw up and wants something to eat? That's not normal, but this is Arihiko I'm talking about, not much of him is normal. I look at a clock. That's bad, most likely I?ll miss homeroom if I stay here, but I can't leave with him like this. I sigh a little.
"Well, since I'm here, I better give you hand."
----
I had to make breakfast for two, Arihiko and his sister, with an amazing lack of ingredients. It was almost only boiled rice and vegetables without any spice. I tried to find meat, but there wasn't any. If he is in such a state, he'll most likely throw up again. In the end that's all I could do, they didn't have medicine. I'll have to buy some for them after school is over. To spend money on a guy is not something that makes me proud, he'll have to pay me back after he gets better.
Now that I think about it, Hisui is sick too, maybe there is an epidemic outbreak of this. I hope she gets better soon. I haven't helped her in anything regarding her illness, I have to do something. Getting her some medicine isn't enough; I should get something to cheer her up, maybe a new broom? No! That is just lame, and what kind of message would I be giving her with a gift like that anyway, "get well soon, somebody needs to clean up this mess". That is no good. Maybe some chocolates and a teddy bear? I mean, almost every girl likes sweets and stuffed dolls, right? No, she has a "peculiar" sense of taste, and now that she is sick I'm sure it is even weirder, and somehow I get the feeling she isn't too fond of stuffed animals.
Jewelry is completely out of the question, I just can't afford it; not being allowed to have a part-time job, and spending what little I have on Arihiko, I can't even give it a serious consideration. I don't like to accept it, but it seems I still don't know her that well, I don't have a clear idea what her likes and dislikes are; that and I have a serious lack of touch in this kind of matter. Maybe I'll even have to ask Akiha to help me out with this. Man, I really hope it doesn't come to that!
"Pfeh. I should hurry or I won't even make it to second period"
I mutter those words and start running towards school grounds. I think it would be better if I stop talking to myself.

Credits:
-Type-Moon, for obvious reasons.
-Mirror-Moon. Thanks to them I was able to read the VN
-A guy naming himself ShinMasaki for helping me to Beta Read this stuff.
-Me, of course, since i wrote this thing.

P.S: I copy-pasted the whole text from a doc, so I don't know if it suffered some problems with the text body format. To be in the safe side, sorry.

-----------------------

Edit:
I just realized I posted the story like 4 times or so... Sorry about that. I already deleted the others. I had some problem when I tried to post something in this forum and when I checked if there was a new topic and nothing showed up I gave up. After that I stayed away from the forum like four days or more in a row and didn't notice anything, but it got fixed. I apologize again.
Re-Edit
I missed this thread and edited another one. I'll be leaving this one here and deleting the other one left. Sorry again.
Last edited by abscess on May 13th, 2008, 11:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Nameless Fic

Unread postby zweiterversuch » May 13th, 2008, 2:05 pm

Wow...
Really, Really good.
I thought it was an unreleased side-story of tsuki.
I can't be a good judge if it comes to the lenguage (as you may have noticed) but (so far) there is nothing wrong with the plot.
Just two things.
1) When Shiki leaves for school, who is the one who sees him off?
Nanaya or Kohaku?
I think you missed the name there.

2) You have posted this story (a nameless fanfic) six times.
It could become a trouble with the administrators.

Well.
That is my opinion.
Keep writting.
I want to know what dicase they have caught. :D
http://visualnoveldai.com/
If you want to create your own visual novel go there!
Try it out, no compromise!
8 inches in a week!

btw Princess Tutu is still Awesome!!!
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Re: Nameless Fic

Unread postby abscess » May 14th, 2008, 12:08 am

zweiterversuch wrote:Wow...
Really, Really good.
I thought it was an unreleased side-story of tsuki.
I can't be a good judge if it comes to the lenguage (as you may have noticed) but (so far) there is nothing wrong with the plot.
Just two things.
1) When Shiki leaves for school, who is the one who sees him off?
Nanaya or Kohaku?
I think you missed the name there.

2) You have posted this story (a nameless fanfic) six times.
It could become a trouble with the administrators.

Well.
That is my opinion.
Keep writting.
I want to know what dicase they have caught. :D


About multi-posting... Yeah, it was a mistake. I don't know if it was from my part or a problem with the board. For some insight on the posting issue you can check on the Tech section another post where I adress this. I already got rid of the other ones floating around. I, once again, apologize for the multi-posting.

On the naming issue of Kohaku/Nanaya, that was intentional. I adress that in another chapter (already written) and has a bit to do with the story, not much but I won't say further. Depending on the reviews/replys I'll post other chapters or let this story die a slow and quiet death.

For the moment, I'm gone. I'm frakking starving here....
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Unread postby abscess » May 15th, 2008, 3:31 am

Here be second chap for all o' yeh mates out there!
Reviews (critical if possible, please, from typos and such to problems with the mian story) will be thanked

---
CHAPTER TWO
---
I arrived at school late, of course. At least I made it only ten minutes late, but Kunifuji-sensei didn't seem to agree with my dim sense of victory. He did let me in the classroom though not before lecturing me in front of everyone about duty and what has to be done in accordance to fulfill it. To summarize what he said, ?get here on time from now on? fits nicely.
I sit next to the window, but I can't let myself get lost in my thoughts, especially since I arrived late and he actually let me in. I should pay attention to classes and if I'm feeling lucky even answer some of the questions he is asking. Alright, this class is Calculus, not my strongest subject, but I think I can defend myself a little in this. I take out my notebook and pencil and try to understand what the class is about.
----
It's lunchtime. Since Arihiko isn't here, I don't think I'll eat at the cafeteria; maybe it's better if I buy bread and eat in the classroom. Some students dash off towards the cafeteria while others stay behind and form small groups. Something is odd though; there are more students here than usual, and most of them are in a single group of people. I walk out of the classroom and take a peek at the small group of people from a different angle. It seems that someone is the center of attention. Poor fellow, I'd hate to be in that position. Anyway, I should buy something. Probably a curry bread; for the sake of change I want something spicy today.
----
I arrive, my bread in hand, and sit at my desk. Looking again at the group of people, it seems that the majority of them are gone; they probably already sated their curiosity. Paying a little more attention I realize a girl I don't recognize is at the center, talking openly with the students. Since I don't know her, she is probably a new student. She has black hair, reaching to her shoulders with eyes are of similar color. She sports a slim frame, but not flimsy; I?m guessing she probably used to be in a sports club before coming here. Aside from her slightly darker tone of her skin, she doesn't seem to be that different from any other girl around. Not a beauty, but not half bad looking either. Thinking back, most likely I didn't notice her presence because I arrived late; I should have noticed the other students taking brief looks at her, however.
The bells rings and the class returns to their seats. My next class is English, a pretty easy class. It's enough if you do the homework to understand the basics of this subject, and if you somehow happen to fail the exam, if you show that you did your homework to the teacher, she helps you out a bit by boosting your grade. It?s not an important boost, but a significant enough one so you don't fail. Since this is easy, I'll indulge myself with looking outside the window and get lost in thought.
----
The bells rings once more, signaling the end of school day. The last class was with Kunifuji-sensei: Probability, one is one of my weakest subjects. At first it was kind of easy, but after two weeks of class, everything started to get incredibly hard. I just can't understand how one has to proceed to solve these kinds of problems. I get part of the logic, but when it's time to pose the problem I'm lost and get confused. If there is a subject I'll fail, I'm sure it's this one.
Whatever, I should leave. I told Arihiko I would bring him some medicine. I'll probably have to cook for him and his sister again.
"Tohno-kun. I need to have a word with you."
I was just standing up to leave when Kunifuji-sensei stopped me. I think I have an idea what he wants to talk about. With heavy feet, I shuffle towards him.
"Yes. What is it, sensei?"
I really don't want to be here, I just hope this conversation ends fast. I have some things to take care of, and I?d rather get them done as soon as I can.
?Tohno-kun. Has something happen to you lately??
"Muh?..."
I can only mumble that idiotic response. I expected him to say that I needed to study harder for the exams, because my grades have gone down a little, or something along those lines.
"Well. Have you had any problems, at home or school?"
"Well..."
Oh, nothing, just this thing with Kohaku-san. You know, the thing with her memory; that kinda stuff. What am I supposed to tell him!? I doubt he will actually be able to help me, not that I'm in dire need of any. Maybe I should talk a bit, that way he'll be satisfied and I'll resume my day.
"...Yeah, kind of"
"I see..."
It appears he wants me to talk a little more.
"They aren't really personal, but a person close to me had... an accident. At home we have been trying to cope with that and help as much as we can"
"Hmm. So it's that..."
Apparently he is happy with what he knows. I won't say anymore and wait to see what he says.
"Tohno, I'll be a little blunt, so please bear with me"
Here goes.
"When you changed your residence, your student performance has been rather erratic. I'm not saying you are doing badly, but it's not as good as it used to be. Generally, you are doing a little above the average, but you used to do better"
"...Really?"
I say this with a little bit of surprise. I knew that I was getting grades a little above average before, but nothing to get excited about.
"Despite any problem you have, your number one priority should be your studies. I know you can do better"
"I understand"
"I don't want to keep you here any longer, so you should go to home and study. Goodbye, Tohno-kun"
"Yes. Goodbye, Kunifuji-sensei"
After that I get out of there. Feeling uncomfortable, I don't like the idea of a teacher knowing about my problems, but it isn't that important either, so I try not to be bothered about it too much.
----
I bought some medicines for Arihiko and his sister. This may, no, this does look weird, a man taking care of another man like this, but I feel this is my duty. Because I suffer of anemia I tend to pass out from time to time, something that has brought me some deal of discomfort. When Arihiko is around, he helps me quite a bit, and when I was living with the Arimas he even let me sleep at his house; I'm indebted to him in a way.
I arrive to his place, a small, two storied house; a nice for a small family, so much different than my over-sized mansion. I knock the door and someone opens; it's Arihiko again. He doesn't look as bad as before.
"Hey, Tohno"
He says this with a little energy, he?s not yelling and waving his arms like crazy, like he usually does though. He is still sick.
"Hi. Any better?"
"Yeah, a bit"
He moves to let me pass. There he goes to sit in the same chair, this time not throwing himself at it. And what a surprise I get when I see the same trash bin. Same place, same 'contents'.
"If you feel better, why the hell is that still there?"
"Oh. I do feel a bit better, but I didn't wanna risk it!"
He even laughs about it, lazy idiot. If he tells me he was expecting me to actually clean that up, I swear I'll tear him apart with my own hands.
"Idiot..."
"And what did you bring to this great friend of yours?"
"Some medicine. They are not actually going to cure you, since they are only painkillers and such. It's the best I got without any prescription"
"Yeah, no problem. Thanks"
It looks like he is feeling considerably better, more than what he says. As far as I can tell he didn't vomit again too, that's a plus.
"And what have you been doing during the morning?"
"I slept most of the time. Actually I just woke up"
Maybe that's why he hasn't clean that, but still, there is a light stench coming from the bin that permeates the air in this place. He must have gotten used to this odor, that or he still can't smell.
"Hey, wanna eat something?"
"No..."
"C'mon. My sister made something, very rare of her, but it seems to be edible"
What an impressive guy he is, this Arihiko. And I don't mean it in a good way.
"How can you ask me this with that barfed up bin stinking this place?"
"Ooh, that. I'll clean it up in no time, then"
He gets up from the chair with a grunt, and walks towards the bin, takes out the bag that was covering it, ties a knot and throws it to another, bigger, trash can, but the stink remains. Now that he 'cleaned it up', I guess I have no choice. Well, I better open the windows.
He served his food, but I had to serve mine. More like I wanted to. It's not my intention to risk getting infected more than I already have. Most of the food is just leftovers of the morning breakfast made by me, only with some more vegetables, and something that appears to be soy beans. At least there is some fried rice.
"Any news in school?"
"Hmm? Mmm..."
Any news? Well, in English we are seeing something new. In Calculus we saw how to integrate trigonometric functions. About History, I think we are past the French Revolution, but I didn't pay much attention to it, so I'm not really sure. But doubt he considers any of it important news. I finish chewing and swallow.
"Well, just school stuff"
Wait. I think there is something. Besides classes there was something else. Something new.
"Hmm... Now that I remember there's a new student"
"Hmm. Really?"
"Yep. A girl"
I take some rice to my mouth and start chewing, but he stopped for a little while. He is interested.
"Really? Is she cute?"
"Hmm..."
I really wouldn't know. I didn't take a close look at her. I'll take this chance to get on his nerves.
"Interested are you? Are you planning on doing something devious with the new student?"
"Well, you know me. If it's a beautiful blossom we are talking about, I wouldn't mind pushing my luck a little. 'One has to strike while the iron is hot', right?"
I somehow am doubtful that phrase is intended for this kind of situation.
"You tend to say some disturbing things now and then"
"Hahah. Don't tell me you didn't miss my companionship at school. Man, you are getting colder day by day!"
"Only with you"
He nods in agreement and laughs happily. Seems that his optimistic self is coming back
"About your sister. Is she feeling OK?"
He looks at the ceiling for a while, as if trying to remember something. Then he answers, still with food in his mouth.
"Yeah. She did prepare this meal, so I suppose she will go to work tonight"
That's good. That means she'll take care of him.
"Say. You didn't answer my question earlier..."
"Question?"
What question? That's right, about the new student. I should focus a little more on what I'm doing. My absent-mindedness is getting the better of me.
"You know, the new girl?"
"Yeah, yeah. What was the question again?"
He just replies my joke with an annoyed look.
"Hahah. Ok ok"
I eat a little more before responding to gain a little time. I really don't know what to say or where to begin. Besides, it's not like I gave her a good look to start with.
"Well. I only saw her a little from a distance"
He answers me with only a sound. Of course he wants me to keep talking about the same subject.
"Well... She has black hair..."
"Uh huh"
"... And black eyes..."
"... Uh huh"
"And black skin!"
"Huh? Dark skin?"
"Yeah. As black as the night itself"
Of course I'm lying here. She did have a darker tone of skin than most of the other girls around, but not 'as the night itself'.
"An exotic beauty, huh?"
I never said she was beautiful. He is just making up stuff now.
"Sorry to break your fantasy, but I was half joking there"
"She is not dark skinned then?"
"In a way... She does have dark skin, but only slightly darker than most of the other girls"
"Aha! A mixture! Much better!"
"Whatever you say"
We finish our meals and chat a little more of no topic in specific. He actually stopped asking me about the new student. Maybe his curiosity was satisfied. Something that caught my attention was not any of the topics but how he acted. He was looking more and more energetic, meaning he is getting better, and fast. Most likely, what he caught, isn't influenza, but just a common cold. After a while I said good bye and I went on my way.
Going home later than usual isn't something I wanted to do, but at least I wasn't doing anything dangerous.
Now that I remember Kohaku-san said she would make something new to eat. I'm sure it wasn't the feasts she used to make, but she did ask me what I wanted. I feel like I let her down. Anyway, I hope she is taking good care of Hisui, who is still sick. Although she can't cook as well as she used to, she kept a great deal of her medical knowledge, that's why I didn't buy any medicine for Hisui. But what bothers me a little is not that I didn't buy her medicine it's that I didn't buy her anything at all. And to top it off, I still have no idea of what to get her to cheer her up, just the damn broom or a stupid duster. Now I'm feeling miserable.
"Whatever. I should hurry home"
And here I am, talking to myself out-loud again. Bad habit Shiki, bad habit.

-----------------------

Credits:
Same as above
"I settled for that shriek. Those dull vacant eyes... oiled cabbage stench of her...! [...] You know what? I'm sorry if I'm not gonna do this the way you want me to or the way you might. But I will not make an angel out of someone who wasn't an angel...!" -Chief Tyrol, on his beloved wife.
Have you heard about the saying that goes something like "drunk people and kids tell no lies"? Well, that's just a fallacy.
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Unread postby zweiterversuch » May 15th, 2008, 8:53 pm

Wow...
After reading this I, as somebody who is writting a Fanfic too, feel jealous of your use of the lenguage.
Well, but that is something you don't need to read, do ya?

Now. I haven't found any Typos. (just the first one when you wrote "mian" instead "main" but I think that one was intetional)

and this here:
"I arrive to his place, a small, two storied house; a nice for a small family."

a nice...(I think something is missing here) for ....

Keep your good work!!
http://visualnoveldai.com/
If you want to create your own visual novel go there!
Try it out, no compromise!
8 inches in a week!

btw Princess Tutu is still Awesome!!!
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Unread postby abscess » May 16th, 2008, 3:11 am

The next chapter will be the last one I have fully written, so don't expect anything new anytime soon. But I say this again, reviews will be very much appreciated, yeah I say that a lot, why? because that's the actual reason I'm posting this here :D .

P.S: How do I delete my own replies? Found myself from time to time that I wanted to do that but can't find the [x] button that dooes the trick....
Last edited by abscess on May 16th, 2008, 3:22 am, edited 3 times in total.
"I settled for that shriek. Those dull vacant eyes... oiled cabbage stench of her...! [...] You know what? I'm sorry if I'm not gonna do this the way you want me to or the way you might. But I will not make an angel out of someone who wasn't an angel...!" -Chief Tyrol, on his beloved wife.
Have you heard about the saying that goes something like "drunk people and kids tell no lies"? Well, that's just a fallacy.
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abscess
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Posts: 1939
Joined: April 25th, 2008, 10:08 am
Location: Parmistan lol

Unread postby abscess » May 16th, 2008, 3:15 am

---
CHAPTER THREE
---

I find myself staring at the gates of the mansion. This thing, even with those heavy, metallic bars its made of, happens to be useless since it's not locked in any manner. Even though I'm thankful in a way they didn't lock it, or else I would have been left out because I don't have a copy of the key, they should be a little more security minded. If the gates are only aligned together, they don't help much and anyone could get in and out with an alarming ease.
Pushing them out of the way and aligning them back together, I make my way to the front door of the mansion. While I'm on it I imagine a scenario where someone breaks into the house and I can't help but feel sorry for the poor guy that would happen to be bold enough to try his or her luck with this mansion. Despite giving an imposing image and having a huge load of valuable items inside, this is, after all, where a dormant but still very dangerous beast resides. I'm pretty sure Kohaku-san must have had installed an innumerable set of traps at some point in time for that sole purpose, and, even if she lost almost all of her memory, I'm positive she could manage to re-learn all of their locations and functions with no problem at all. And if this person somehow is able to get past all of them, the thief would then have to deal with a horrible, heat-sucking demon carved out of pure anger, my little sister Akiha. Aah! Thats a fate I don't think a mere burglar deserves.
"After all... Seems that little negligence isn't that important..."
Anyway, it's still not seven, so there is no real need to lock it until then. Over thinking this kind of situations isn't going to help me much.
I arrive at the front door and open it.
"I'm home..."
I feel exhausted as I say those words. Maybe I did catch Arihiko's cold. Let's hope not. It can be only exhaustion without any important reason at all.
Although I arrived two hours later than usual, I expected to see Akiha and Kohaku-san drinking tea. Apparently everyone has a different agenda of their own, for today at least.
While having eaten already, I want to eat something made by Kohaku-san. She can't remember almost all of the recipes she used to master, but when she makes something, she usually does it in an expert-like fashion. Of course, there are some exceptions that even look like they belong to Hisui's 'unique repertoire', but on the taste side, they aren't half bad.

Thinking about food, I enter the kitchen.
"Uh!... Ko--"
I stop what I was about to say. Even though we all call her now 'Nanaya-san', I can't seem to get it properly in my head that the Kohaku from before is gone. It somehow feels that it's another person I'm calling. And sometimes get the feeling that name is something of my own, even if it's a forgotten and buried name from the past.
"Nanaya-san!, I didn't know you were here...!"
I correct my self, and call her with a faint smile on my face.
"Aah! Shiki-san. I didn't hear when you arrived! I'm sorry"
She turns around to see me and says this with a smile too. This may not be the same blossoming smile that I grew to like, but it seems to be a more honest one.
"No, it's not important. I shouldn't have interrupted what you were doing, anyway"
"No no. It's not a problem at all. I wasn't doing anything important to start with!"
She giggles a little. Her face looks unbelievably cute when she does this...
"..."
Getting past the 'cuteness' issue, we are in a moment where neither of us is talking, getting us in an awkward silence in the process. Whatever, I should say something to break this silence.
"This is funny, isn't it?. Both of us saying we are sorry about something trivial like this..."
Slightly tilting her head to the side, she speaks first. I find her even cuter now...
"..."
Hey now! I have to think straight here!. I'm taking too much time to answer!
"... Yeah..."
Oh wow, smart line. Idiot.
"Ahem... Anyway!. What is it that you were doing?"
"Eh? Ah!"
Apparently she forgot it for a moment.
"I was about to throw this to the garbage."
"What is it?"
"The leftovers"
An unexpected strike of luck! It seems I made it in time before something 'unforgivable' was about to take place. To throw food just like that isn't something that should be done.
"Heh? But why?"
"Why?... Because it's cold...?"
"That's not convincing enough. To throw away food just for being cold isn't right."
Kohaku-san is just looking at me with a puzzled look on here face.
"... Shiki-san, I've always done this when there are leftovers."
No... she wouldn't do that, the Kohaku from before. She would store them for future servings, for snacks or as pickled food or something. At any rate, I get the sensation that I'm trying to discuss about something she deems an unimportant matter.
"Well... Why don't you let me eat them instead of only dumping them?"
She still holds the same face as before.
"But it's cold... It will taste awful"
"But still... I want to eat it"
I give her a 'I won't give up on this one' face. That way she won't argue anymore.
"... Shiki-san, you are acting like a spoiled child"
"... Aah...?"
Ouch... That really is a direct hit to my pride. But, looking a little back, I certainly am acting like one. That makes it even harder on me. Maybe I Should have been satisfied with the rice and vegetables at Arihiko's place.
"..."
"Huh-uh, Haahahah!"
She is laughing now...? That's unexpectedly rude of her! Laughing at me on my own face!
"I was just pulling your leg there! I guess you actually got angry at me. Sorry sorry."
"... Eh...?"
Now that I get out of it a little. I notice I have a somewhat strained face. Well, anyhow, it seems that she still has that cunning self from before.
I'm glad for that, sort of.
"If you really want to eat it, please, go ahead!"
"...."
"What is it?"
"... Are you going to laugh at me if I go forward with this?"
"Oh, really? That's a serious question? Is that how you see me?"
She grabs the plate in a playful manner and walks past me. I have to turn around to not lose her.
"Yeah!"
Bearing a mischievous smile with the plate on one hand, she turns back to me.
"No. I'll not laugh at you! There. Happy now?"
"... Very!"
Playing along with her is kind of fun. But I can't help but get the feeling that, if this carries on, I'll end up regretting it.
".... at least not in front of you"
Even though she says this under her breath I'm sure I heard her right.
"Want me to reheat it or you want to eat it as is?"
"... What was 'that'?!"
"What? I was just asking you if you want me to reheat or not."
Whatever. I'll just ignore it. She is most likely 'pulling my leg' again.
"... Reheated, please."
While I answered, I showed her an annoyed look on my face, just to let her know that I actually heard her.
"Yes!"
As she says that she puts the plate in the microwave, with that same smirk looks at me, not caring if I'm really angry or not.
"Humm..."
She walks past me again, humming a tune she is making up as she goes to some cabinets to set up the table. That same feeling of regret I thought about earlier has already started...
"I settled for that shriek. Those dull vacant eyes... oiled cabbage stench of her...! [...] You know what? I'm sorry if I'm not gonna do this the way you want me to or the way you might. But I will not make an angel out of someone who wasn't an angel...!" -Chief Tyrol, on his beloved wife.
Have you heard about the saying that goes something like "drunk people and kids tell no lies"? Well, that's just a fallacy.
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abscess
I can haz postingz nao? K thx
 
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Unread postby zweiterversuch » May 16th, 2008, 3:17 am

You posted twice
http://visualnoveldai.com/
If you want to create your own visual novel go there!
Try it out, no compromise!
8 inches in a week!

btw Princess Tutu is still Awesome!!!
zweiterversuch
$dead
 
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Joined: February 7th, 2008, 6:53 pm

Unread postby Raitei » May 16th, 2008, 4:16 am

abscess wrote:P.S: How do I delete my own replies? Found myself from time to time that I wanted to do that but can't find the [x] button that dooes the trick....
apparently, you can't when someone else has replied below yours. or if you double (triple, quadruple, and so on) posted. to do the trick (when you double posted), delete the post that comes last.
"Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes... chaos.
I'm an agent of chaos."
Fate/world providence
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Raitei
OMG! WTF WHO SET THIS TITLE! LULZ
 
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