Danakir wrote:This is a poem about Kohaku from Shiki's POV x3 It's a rather negative vision of their relationship... but I think it's the most interesting aspect of her character to see it in that light. ^^
Comments are more than welcomed!
Bleed like the snow
From times long begone
Reality isn't this show
Made of conclusions foregone
As numerous to insanity
As the azure starlit
Swallowed by true obscurity
Such as every small bit
Would remind you of the winter coat
You'd put around the flesh unyielding
Of that strangest stranger's steamboat
The mirror of the cracks mending
Do you desire
Touch sweet as silence
The bitter ire
Lighter than any presence
Is to be found in every mechanical
Gesture and wordless yellow stare
Every plan a purpose, no technical
Need for motive, after all I dare
String myself to a doll
Danakir wrote:The poem mostly focus on her 'mechanical', manipulative, emotionless nature and the deeds she's commited in her quest for purpose.
In other words, I take it from the PoV where she uses Shiki.
Does that make sense to you?
Danakir wrote:Don't I wish.
It's nothing but an hobby really. Though I appreciate the indirect compliment.
And English isn't my first language either! XD
Danakir wrote:None of my other poems are related to Tsukihime however, so I'm not sure if it's okay to post them here....
Is it okay?
zweiterversuch wrote:You are a lot better than I tought.
I writte too but my poems, no , my Essays are in german and even they are not at this level.
I can't wait to read the next one.
ayadew wrote:Ciel should be easy to make about emotional pain, she has in many ways met a fate far worse than Kohaku. At least I feel more for her than Kohaku's partly selfinflicted pain.
It's hard to write poems like this without sounding pretentious, but I don't feel that here. And Words of Love was very good.
Danakir wrote:As for why Kohaku.... because I can relate to her. Isn't it hard to write poetry of something you feel no attachment toward?
Edit: Now that I read your post again, Ayadew, I'd like to say that this poem doesn't have much to do with emotional pain rather than tragedy. Quite sincerely, emotional pain is indeed an horrible, most unbearable, tragedy unto itself but it shares very little with... Kohaku's situation.
To quote Nietzsche "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
At least, that's how I perceive it.
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