(Note: The following contains scenes of a mature nature. Reader discretion is advised.)
There was a lot which would need to be organised.
Flight plans would need to be made, hotels booked, currency exchanged, even basic language skills picked up - and would be just for the initial trip to Sao Paulo.
Taking the further voyage into the interior, to a place not shown on any map (or, at least, not shown in quite the same way as Seonac knew he would eventually find it) and working out a means of getting back again - and all of the major and minor logistical issues needed to do all of this...
...it was enough to give him a headache already.
It was too much to plan out in one evening - but he figured that since it was too early to go now anyway, given the need to let events run their course on the other end, it didn't have to be.
He and Sakura would have time.
But before they did any of that, there were more immediate matters that they could address, and which he did not want to leave undone.
"Sakura..." he said softly, as she held on to him while they sat on the couch, "We're gonna have a lot of planning and stuff to do, but before we rush into that - or rather, start to eat that particular elephant one bite at a time - there are a few things I want to say, about things I hope you and I can work out here first. Although, it might sound a bit odd to hear in places..."
Sakura smiled and nodded. "I'm listening, itoshii
"Okay!" he took a deeper-than-normal breath, as he tried to bring his mind into the right focus, and tried to juggle the words he wanted to say into something semi-legible. Perhaps sensing this, Sakura squeezed his hand gently, to reassure him.
Indeed, it was that act which helped him begin. "You know, it's the chance to do something even as simple as this," he held up their clenched hands slightly, "which means so much - not just for the way it feels by itself, but how it fits alongside every other way in which I want to be able to reach out to you, Sakura."
She smiled more widely when hearing this, and said "It's the same for me, itoshii
- being here with you makes me very happy."
He felt a wave of relief and joy at her words. "That's what I want - and of course there are so many other ways I want to share myself with you. But more than that, I want to understand you, to be able to know what makes you happy, and comfortable, and excited, and everything else."
"You have an advantage in that regard," she pointed out, pointing a fingertip from her free hand to her temple.
He nodded, but had a look that said he was trying to get at something. "Yes, that's true - and it's hard to put into words how precious that link is. But there are couples all around the world who have to make do without telepathy, and still manage to learn and understand one another... and God forbid that I somehow lose my gift someday, I'll not want to look back and see that it was a kind of crutch, on which I had to depend upon. If that makes any sense."
She didn't like the idea of hearing him talk about losing his gift like that. "Do you really worry about..."
He chuckled when thinking about it. "You know, it's ironic. I used to wish, more than anything, for me to have any other power, or indeed none at all, rather than be a telepath - to never have to worry about blocking thoughts, or seeing what most people wouldn't."
"And yet..." he sighed a little, somewhat nervous about what he wanted to say next. "it made all the difference in the world when you and I were together back in Fuyuki-shi."
"What do you mean?" she asked, trying to follow his line of reasoning.
He felt slightly more nervous, but bit the bullet and went on anyway. "Well... do you remember that when we first held on to each other that night, I said that I had a lot of things I wanted to ask, or understand, or work out, but that I didn't know where to start?"
Her eyes glistened as she remembered, all too well. "I do - and I remember telling you that I knew them all, and that I had a certain answer for you. I believe it went something like this..."
With that, she leaned over to him and kissed him playfully, their lips and tongues dancing together for several moments, before she lifted her head back to look at him.
"Indeed it did," he blushed, "but the point is that during that instant, and for the rest of the time we made love, I was depending on the reactions, the guidance, that I could sense over the link... to make up for the fact that I would have otherwise had very little idea of what it was I should be doing."
He looked slightly downcast. "And the truth is that I still feel that, right now at least, I'm inadequate, unprepared... I don't have the knowledge, experience and intuition that you deserve to have in a partner."
"You were more than fine for me, itoshii
," she said gently. "You made me feel wonderful... so much more than I had ever hoped for. Not just because you made me feel good - but because it was you
He was very glad to hear that, which was just as well, given what he wanted to say next. "And that's it - I want to be as much as I can for you, to learn everything I can about making you happy... and I want you to help me become like that the way those who are lovers without mind-links can be. I guess I just wish you didn't have to put up with a learning curve on my part..."
She wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly, pressing her cheek against his chest. "Do you know how much that means to me? To be the one you learn these things with, and the one you want to learn them for... I am so much happier to have this - to have you all to myself."
She lifted her head up and cupped the sides of his face as she looked down at him. "To be your one and only lover... as you are for me."
At that, a nagging dash of fear and concern flashed in his mind, which he tried to brush aside - but she couldn't help but feel it. "Sakura... I need to tell you, though I'm afraid, ashamed to say it, or even think it."
"Tell me, itoshii
," she looked at him, assuredly.
"You know, there's one other reason why I... why it's so imprtant for me to want to learn how to do things the right way. I... I couldn't bear..."
She looked worried, seeing his expression turn like this. "What is it?"
He almost whispered the answer, his eyes turning downward again. "...causing you to... have a reminder... of..."
At this, she held more firmly onto his head, and lifted it up to face her, as she looked steadfastly at him.
"There are many things I am happy to say to you, again and again - but this is something I will only say one time," she said, her voice firm. "I can understand why you, more than anyone, would have reason to be afraid of that - and I greatly appreciate the sentiment behind your concern. But never, not for one moment, do you ever, ever
make me think of him, itoshii
- and you never will. So please relieve yourself of that concern, at once."
He felt his eyes water at that, a complex mix of guilt, relief, shame and salvation rush through him. "I'm sorry to have even thought of..."
"It's alright," she said, now the one pressing his head against her chest, his arms wrapping around her. "but it's done now, right?"
"Ok," he said quietly, glad to have shaken off that particularly bitter concern.
"So, was there anything else you wanted to say to me, before we begin our education?" she asked, with a hint of devilishness in her voice.
Lifting back to look at her, he surprised her by rolling her to her side, so they were lying and facing one another. "Oh, when you put it like that, I want to start right this moment - but there is one other thing we should try and work out..."
"Oh?" she asked, mock-shyly, as she snuggled up to him. "And that would be..."
"Figuring out a means of birth control," he pointed out, as he held on in turn. "Much as I'm happy to be starting a family with you, I think that two is enough for a while yet, don't you agree?"
She laughed at this, as she realised that she hadn't even stopped to think of that. "I believe you have a point!"
Showing a warn smile, Seonac went on, his analytical side trying to work on the matter. "Well, maybe we could go tomorrow or the day after and see about what methods are available, and which would be viable? At the very least, I guess we could go to a pharmacy and start with using a con-"
She stopped him before he finished that sentence. "No, we won't, itoshii
Somewhat non-plussed, he asked "Hm? About which part?"
"Going to explore our options is fine, and I agree that we should settle on one which is viable for both of us - but I do not ever want to feel anything less than your flesh inside me, itoshii
He doubted he had ever blushed as furiously as he did right there and then, at hearing that. "So, no to condoms, then? Well, I guess we don't need to worry too much about the other stuff they work against, so... wait, why did I start thinking about that sort of detail so quickly?"
"It's your mind in action," she replied. "One of the things I love the most about you."
"Sakura..." he said softly, as he kissed her passionately once again, before he thought of one more question for now. "So then, if we are gonna wait until we sort that stuff out before we try it again, what would you like to do until then?"
She answered coyly. "Oh, you'll find out soon enough."
"Man, this is complicated."
Seonac and Sakura were sitting in the waiting room at a small clinic, waiting for an appointment - which, thanks to the wisdom of those who founded the National Health Service, hadn't been too much trouble to organise.
While they were waiting, Seonac was trying to read through some NHS
literature on various methods of birth control, as well as some pages
he had printed off of Wikipedia earlier - and the whole thing was rather much to try and make sense of, frankly.
"Did they not teach about these methods in school over in Ireland?" Sakura asked quietly, as she saw his concern.
"Well, yeah, but not in as much detail as I'd like..." he replied in a low voice - there was no-one nearby to listen in on them anyway, but it seemed like a force of habit, for some reason - "And to tell you the truth... I never really imagined I'd ever have use for any of this, in fairness. Being convinced you'll never find anyone who would want to go to that stage with you can be a troublesome thing, ne
She smiled at that, though she might have felt a little bad at the thought of him being left with such a thought in his youth. "It makes me very glad to be the one to disabuse you of that notion, itoshii
"Well..." he blushed a little at that, "be that as it may, some of these options - well, they seem awfully... intricate. It's hard to wrap my head around them, let alone the part about how they would be for you."
She placed a hand on his forearm, and reassured him. "When we find the right option, I will be quite fine..."
At this, she was the one to blush, as she turned to one side slightly.
"What is it, Sakura?" Seonac asked, not quite sure what was going on.
She turned back and smiled more widely. "I just realised that I really will be fine, itoshii
. To be here with you like this, making this kind of decision, sharing the matter together as we are... I never dreamed I'd be so lucky, either."
Before Seonac could say anything, the call came through from the PA system in the room. Their turn was up.
"Well then," he asserted, as he stood up, folded the papers into his bag, and reached out for her hand. "shall we go and take this step together?"
"Hai!" she said gladly, taking his hand.
Some time later, after the matter had been decided and the process implemented, the two found themselves at home, quite close to one another.
Lying on the bed, her in a set of pyjamas she had brought over, he wearing a soft set of pants and a plain t-shirt, the two held onto each other's hands as they kissed slowly, steadily, their eyes flickering open and closed as each caught a peek at the sight of the other.
"Are you happy enough with the choice you went for?" he asked, not quite sure whether or not to be relieved that she had settled on a specific option.
"Yes," she answered, calmly, "I believe I made the right choice, itoshii."
The doctor had been very helpful - not least in answering the barrage of odd questions that Seonac had regarding various options, not least the one that Sakura chose in the end. He had felt somewhat embarrassed to be so inquisitive, but the doctor was grateful to have someone in who was so eager to know all he could, and Sakura was glad to pick up on various pieces of information she herself had not been sure about.
Now, the process was underway, and Sakura was ready - but Seonac found that the closer to the event he was, the less assured he felt about how well it would go. "You know, it's quite a bother how, even after going through all of this, I'm feeling nervous about things..."
"We have half of the battle won, itoshii," she said playfully, reaching out to him more. "You no longer need to be nervous over the birth control issue, and all we need to do now is to help with your education... and with my own."
She looked at him shyly, all of a sudden. "You know, I want to learn how to please you greatly, too."
Seonac smiled as he kissed her, then whispered into her ear as he rubbed the side of her cheek with his own. "Every moment you are alive, and doubly so when you are with me, you do just that - and believe me, every step I take in learning how to please you will do the same for me!"
She rolled onto her back, and looked at him intently as she let his words flow over her. "In that case, help me with this," she tugged at her pyjama top, "and reach out to me."
Nodding, he carefully unbuttoned the front of her top, and placed the pieces to either side, letting them rest on the bed cover. "Do you want to leave it like this, or take the whole thing off?"
Not that he was complaining about how beautiful her bare torso looked to him at that moment, of course.
"It's fine for now, itoshii," she answered, "and take your time. I like the way you look at me..."
For a few moments, he did just that - drinking in the sight of her shoulders, arms, breasts, abdomen... every soft curve, every subtle shade of colour and shadow, every cubic centimetre of her magnificence.
"I'm the luckiest man alive," he said softly, as he reached out to caress her flanks, rolling his hands along the skin at the sides of her abdomen up to just beside the edge of her breasts and on up to her shoulders.
She closed her eyes for a moment, as she took in the feeling. "And many other things aside, itoshii..." she said, her chest heaving as his fingertips passed the more sensitive areas.
"How is this for a start, Sakura?" he asked, moving the fingers back down, then up again.
"Ooooh..." came her reply, purring at his touch - more clear a reply than any more detailed answer.
He continued this for some time, then moved his hands down from her shoulders to her chest, cupping each of her breasts with his hands. They felt soft, yet firm, subtly different to other parts of her body. "At the risk of sounding silly, I'm a big fan of these - well, I like all of your body, of course, in their own different ways..."
She laughed out loud at that, her eyes gleaming. "You worry about the oddest little things, but I'm quite glad to hear you say as much!"
He flexed his hands gently, in and out, massaging and caressing her breasts as she smiled up at him. "I am a big fan of your hands, itoshii..." she said while sighing, as she took in the feeling.
"In that case, do you mind if I try something else with them?" he asked, with a new idea forming.
"What can I do to help, then?" she replied, somewhat-teasingly.
"Let me take off the rest of the top, then try rolling over onto your front - if you don't mind." Every part of that sounded great, he realised.
"Hai," she nodded. She sat up somewhat and lifted the top off, then laid down again while turning so as to face her back towards his.
Once she had settled again, he sat up beside her, placing one hand rolling along her spine, as the other reached to hold onto her shoulder and carefully press his palm and fingers along them.
"Ahhhh..." was her reply, as she enjoyed the back and shoulder massage, the ripples of feeling along her spine matched by the release of tension along her shoulder.
He moved his hands to one part, then the next - one stage squeezing both shoulders at the same time, another moving along the sides and back of her neck up to the bottom of her head, another still caressing down from her shoulder blades to her lower back and up again.
"You are good at this, itoshii..." she sighed, "I had a feeling you would be a quick study..."
He chuckled a little at that. "Well, I'm glad there's something I can do well!"
She rolled over to face him, his hands still on her body, as she reached out to hold onto him once more. "How do you feel?" she asked.
"Well," he thought for a second, "you know, sometimes I wonder whether or not I'm seeing things differently than some others, when I'm here like this. It's kind of hard to explain..."
She got up, enough so that she could put her leg over his lap and sit down to face him, trying to feel him closer still while trying to understand what he was trying to say. "How so?"
He tried to explain as best he could. "You know how you hear about how some people go on about how they get driven wild or whatnot with excitement, or lose some sense of cognitive thought or patience or whatever the hell it is they are waffling about? At least, so I've heard - and it's hardly a scientific sample, mind you."
She tried to follow along with this, not quite sure what he was getting at. "You mean how people say they get swept up in the... moment?"
"I guess," he nodded, "and who knows, maybe it'll be like that for me when we get to a certain stage - but it doesn't go like that for me, I think."
"In what way?" she asked, wondering of he was trying to say that there was something wrong.
He picked up on that, however. "I don't think it's a problem, or at least I hope not. I think it's more of... a different way I see things, I dunno. You'd think as a teep I'd have more info on this stuff, but not quite."
"Try and explain it to me, itoshii," she said, wanting to help him draw the words out.
"Okay," he closed his eyes for a second, then focussed on her intently as they opened again. "When I'm here with you, I feel very strongly for you - very very strongly - but it doesn't make me feel like I want to 'lose control', or my 'limit', or 'patience', or some other odd stereotype. Rather, the more I reach out to you, the more my mind, or the thinking side, goes into overdrive - as in, I try to take in every second of the time I spend with you, think of every movement of my hands or fingers or whatnot, every possible move that would be good if done right, or bothersome if too soft or too strong. And all the while, I feel a tinge of... well, nervousness, I guess. Just enough, perhaps, to help me keep my focus on doing whatever it is I can do to make you happy."
She held a hand to her face, gasping slightly, shocked at the thought. "You mean, you think even more carefully about me at moments like this..."
"And besides, I don't trust the idea that if I somehow had more 'animal instinct' or 'intuition' at these sort of times that I'd necessarily do any better than I am right now - so as long as I can get things right, I like nothing more than the chance to focus my every thought, and act, on you." He hoped that it was a fair explanation, but then he wasn't exactly a psychologist. "Sorry if that sounds weird or something, or if I'm not explaining myself all that well."
She wrapped her arms tightly around him once more, kissing him passionately as she pushed her hips towards his. "I always knew there was something special about you, itoshii - and even now you can show me how much you give to me..."
She added "...and how you help me see myself as the kind of woman I nev- no, that I should be."
"You know, Sakura," he joked, "You keep telling me thing likes that, and my ego won't be able to fit through the door!"
She wouldn't let his self-effacing quip slide so easily, however. "I have faith in your ability to deal with that particular impediment!"
He couldn't believe it - how is it possible for me to be so blessed, so happy, so joyful? Or that the feeling could be so powerful, so pervasive, that he could hardly even remember the echo of how lonely and pained he felt before they were re-united.
As if nothing bad had ever happened to either of them at all.
"I love you, Sakura," he said simply - further amazed at how those three words could carry so much meaning and nuance all at once.
"And I love you," she said in response, as she wrapped her legs more tightly around him.
He felt her presence, so warm and soft - and in one place, slightly moist, even through the layers dividing them. "What would you like me to try now, Sakura?"
"Make love with me, itoshii," was her answer.
Together, they took off his shirt, and anything else they had on - her ribbon had been placed to one side much earlier - and she sat on his legs, facing towards him as he sat up looking at her.
"Do you want to try it like this?" he asked, "I'd like to be able to cuddle you while we..."
She was one step ahead of him, lifting herself over to him and raising her hips. Resting one hand on his shoulder as he helped her keep balance, she used the other hand to guide him to the right spot.
"Oh, are you sure that you're ready?" he asked, worried about not wanting to go in before she was properly active.
"I am ready," she replied, as she moved her hips down and sighed heavily as she felt him slide within. "A... uhhhhh!" she moaned, feeling the warmth and texture fill her insides.
He sighed a little in relief, both at how smoothly the action had gone, and at her pleased reaction. "So... am I... ok?" he asked shyly, wanting more than anything to hear her say that he was.
Settling down, with her legs pressed along the side of his hips and wrapped around his lower back, her hands moving calmly along the side of his torso, her smiling face and eyes locked together with his. "You are quite splendid, itoshii!"
The two of them laughed at her use of such a term, then kissed slowly and softly as they held onto each other. They didn't even move, not yet at least, except to breathe in and out, caress each other's tongues, and take in every little bit of warmth and moisture, and feelings both physical and emotional, in this act of love.
Soon, she began to move back and forth, slowly, taking him in further with each pulse, soaking in the sensations flowing form each movement. "This is good... oh, it's so good..." she said, her expressions showing her pleasure.
"So, in other words, we've started things off well," he whispered to her, all too aware that this was the first time they were making love as an actual couple, the first since their time in Japan...
...and, he hoped, the first of many, many more to come.
"We are lovers once more, itoshii," she replied, "and this time..."
She pushed more firmly, more quickly, her pulse increasing with each thrust as he in turn felt the sensations race through him.
"This time..." she said more loudly, as she pressed her hands to his hips, prompting him to push forth with her - trying to match each push on her end with one of his own.
"Ah... ohh... This time, itoshii... " she said louder still, as her eyes bore more deeply into his own, her cheeks reddening, her urge to possess him growing exponentially as he in turn felt every part of his being alight.
She almost shouted the rest, as she felt the buildup within her, as he found his own feelings racing, the tension of anticipation reaching fever pitch in his mind as he hoped that she was moving closer to the next level - as his heart raced at her words at the same time...
"I won't let go of you!"
The two were pushing back and forth much more assertively now, her hips in control as she made sure the angle of movement went the way she wanted - which was both a boon for her, and a source of great encouragement for him.
He was trying to etch every thrust, every little minor adjustment, every sound, every feeling, into his memory - not just because he never wanted to forget, but so that he could draw from it, learn from it, in his ongoing quest to bring her pleasure, joy, happiness.
"And you'll never have to, Sakura!" he called out in reply, wanting to spend the rest of his life - and whatever may or nay not lie in the Beyond - as hers and hers alone.
They kissed again, their lips and tongues racing this time, in tandem with their hips, as they both felt the buildup within their bodies.
He was not feeling the same type of reaction from her that he had that night - the 'cheat-code' was for whatever reason not showing in quite the same way.
Good, he thought. This is how I should learn - how I should be able to make her feel like this.
"Keep going... like this... oooh, Oh! Ooh! Yes! Just as we... ahh! AAH! AAAAHH!!" Her voice was growing more strained and energetic, as she guided him, remembering her wish to help him learn, even while his doing so drove her mind to distraction.
"Oh, aaaah, Sakuraaa, SakuraaAAA!" he called out in reply, his mind lit up like a Christmas tree as his body pushed onwards, and he could sense something, like a dam on both sides about to burst - but this time, it wasn't his mental power telling him this.
He could feel it - he was beginning to understand it intuitively, or at least he hoped that it was so...
The two clamped on to each other as the dam finally broke, and Sakura contorted in ecstasy above him, drenching him with her inner fluids, as he released in turn within her.
Neither of them were spent, however - and after taking a few moments to catch their breath and look back at each other, their caress was no less close, his presence still resting within her walls as her eyes and his focussed on each other clearly once again.
"So, I did well, then?" he asked, not really needing to ask... but at the same time, needing to ask.
She breathed in, and sighed happily in response, a content smile on her face. "If this is how great you are for me now, itoshii, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself once we build up on our studies..."
"Good enough, then!" he cheered, and kissed her once again.
Of course, they would have a lot on their plates when not locked together like this - even before they had to stop and think of changing nappies and prepping baby bottles, or getting shots for a host of Amazonian diseases and so forth, as well as working on renewing the tarnished relationships with Rin, Saber and Shirou (which might have been solved in one sense, but would need time and care to really get going again properly).
There was a lot to do...
...but as long as they were able to turn to each other, rely on each other, and reach out for one another, they could face all of these, and more, as one.