Fate/stay night Typo/Grammar Mistake Report [v1.0a]

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TakaJun
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Fate/stay night Typo/Grammar Mistake Report [v1.0a]

Unread post by TakaJun » May 4th, 2007, 7:21 am

This is a report thread for all the typos and grammar mistakes you may find in Fate/stay night English.

Please state:
- The scene (Day and route may help)
- The mistake (what's wrong)
- Sentences around it
- Possible correction

NOTE - Before you post a textual error, search this thread to see if it hasn't already been reported.

NOTE - Only report errors ONCE. Do NOT discuss other people's reports, nor our decision on whether or not to fix something.

EDIT: {Ryuusoul} Now, this is all Taka's call, of course, but please try not to get too carried away with all this... we're not asking people how best to turn this into how they'd like to have it written. We're asking about basic grammar and typos. Thank you.

lvlln
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Unread post by lvlln » May 5th, 2007, 10:33 am

In the config screen in the menu, it says, "Conformation before skipping," when the correct spelling would be, "Confirmation before skipping."

TakaJun
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Unread post by TakaJun » May 5th, 2007, 10:43 am

Report already orz
And not even an hour into it...
Anyway, fixed
Last edited by TakaJun on May 6th, 2007, 5:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

asceai
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Unread post by asceai » May 5th, 2007, 12:13 pm

1) I guess 'Fuyuki city' in the prologue should be 'Fuyuki City'

2) Should "We'll probably end up with a 'kill or be killed' relationship" be "We'll probably end up in a 'kill or be killed' relationship"? I dunno, I guess it's a point of style.

3) Should "The pendant I found last night is one of the best Artifact in its class." be "The pendant I found last night is one of the best Artifacts in its class."? Since 'Artifact' is capitalised I'm not sure.

(I'll edit this post as I find them)
(By the way, this is a really good translation! That, and along with the fact that it's clearly by people who are far better versed at Japanese than I am, this is much more enjoyable than reading Nasu's original Japanese)

Message
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Unread post by Message » May 5th, 2007, 1:02 pm

asceai wrote:(I'll edit this post as I find them)
Please don't, it makes it very complicated to keep track of what has already been fixed.

Omegavr
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Unread post by Omegavr » May 5th, 2007, 1:32 pm

In the prologue there seems to be some sentences that use a different tense from the rest of the prologue while still talking about an act done in the past:
"He won't be coming back." should be "He wouldn’t be coming back."

“… A war has started.” should be “… A war had started.”

Edit: still in the prologue:

“I see him off politely.” to “I saw him off politely.”

Edit 2: Clarification.

Tropsy
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Unread post by Tropsy » May 5th, 2007, 3:05 pm

31-1, when Emiya is in school fixing things for Issei:
"I would have to "strengthen" it in a very unamatuerish way" (typo on unamateurish)

asceai
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Unread post by asceai » May 5th, 2007, 3:22 pm

Second day, in the park (after-school part-time job)

"A park should be filled with people like families and lovers on weekends, but it's empty here now.No... this place is always desolate."

Should have a space added between 'now.' and 'No'

asceai
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Unread post by asceai » May 5th, 2007, 3:44 pm

3rd day, after school--night
"I feel like a jellyfish floating in the dark sea at night
I don't feel any pain already."

The second line feels awkward, perhaps "I don't feel any pain yet." or "I don't feel any pain." would fit better.

PacifistGod
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Unread post by PacifistGod » May 5th, 2007, 4:58 pm

3rd day. At the church.
"Of course. Helping people means saving yourself in the end. ...Well, it won't do any good to preach you now."
Should be:
"Of course. Helping people means saving yourself in the end. ...Well, it won't do any good to preach to you now."

"Then let me ask you one more thing.It is a boring question, but do you think you are superior to your servant?"
Should be:
"Then let me ask you one more thing. It is a boring question, but do you think you are superior to your servant?"
(needs a space)

After accepting to fight on the third day, while walking home.
"As is she's seen a ghost, her feet stop dead in their tracks."
Should be:
"As if she's seen a ghost, her feet stop dead in their tracks."

4th day, beginning memory
"There was no sounds of insects in the garden as it was silent."
Should be:
"There were no sounds of insects in the garden as it was silent."
Could also use a comma after "garden" or rewording to make it less awkward.

later in the memory.
"It is only natural for a child to succeed their father."
Should be:
"It is only natural for a child to succeed his father."
or
"It is only natural for children to succeed their fathers."

4th day. Talking with Rin.
"You say I should fight for the Holy Grail, but I've never been in a fight between magi."

It looks like there should be a quotation mark at the end of this sentence.

4th day, dojo
"I see. I will be careful if you don't like that, but you don't like it?"

awkward. Maybe rephrase it to "I see. I will be careful if it bothers you, but you don't like it?"

4th day, dinner
"I feel the same way. Our current problem is that the exact Master is after us."
Should be:
"I feel the same way. Our current problem is that that exact Master is after us."
or
"I feel the same way. Our current problem is that this exact Master is after us."
Last edited by PacifistGod on May 5th, 2007, 7:58 pm, edited 6 times in total.

gsl
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Unread post by gsl » May 5th, 2007, 6:02 pm

asceai wrote:2) Should "We'll probably end up with a 'kill or be killed' relationship" be "We'll probably end up in a 'kill or be killed' relationship"? I dunno, I guess it's a point of style.
Actually it's not a point of style at all; they're very seperate things. The first sentence indicates the existance of a 'kill or be killed relationship', the second refers to the speaker's direct involvement in such a thing. I haven't installed the patch yet so I have no idea which is correct in the context of the game, but little nuances like that are seldom if ever simply stylistic issues.

zafira
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Unread post by zafira » May 5th, 2007, 6:08 pm

2nd day, when Shirou and Ayako meet.

"...That's true, but what the hell was Shinji thinking? He does teach very harshly, but he's not the type to makes fun of people like that."

should be either "that makes" or "to make"

zafira
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Unread post by zafira » May 5th, 2007, 7:02 pm

also when Lancer kills Shirou after he sees them fighting

There wasn't even time to dodge it.
All the training I did were nothing.

Ryuusoul
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Unread post by Ryuusoul » May 5th, 2007, 7:31 pm

Omegavr wrote:In the prologue there seems to be some sentences that use a different tense from the rest of the prologue while still talking about an act done in the past:
"He won't be coming back." should be "He wouldn?t be coming back."

?? A war has started.? should be ?? A war had started.?

Edit: still in the prologue:

?I see him off politely.? to ?I saw him off politely.?

Edit 2: Clarification.
Sometimes the game itself switches tenses during things like flashbacks. Don't get wrapped around the axle over it.

piccolo255
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Unread post by piccolo255 » May 5th, 2007, 8:58 pm

in prologue, day 2 (edit: or was it day 3?), when helping sakura carrying the papers:
"It's fine. So, we're talking these to your classroom?"
should be:
"It's fine. So, we're taking these to your classroom?"
Last edited by piccolo255 on May 5th, 2007, 9:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Omegavr
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Unread post by Omegavr » May 5th, 2007, 9:28 pm

In the fourth day while Saber is talking with Shirou:

“They are both bad. At very least, it is somethingI do not want other Masters finding out.””Hm.”
should be:
“They are both bad. At very least, it is something I do not want other Masters finding out.” ”Hm.”

piccolo255
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Unread post by piccolo255 » May 5th, 2007, 9:32 pm

in prologue, when lancer killes shirou and rin finds him
Sakura's flashes in my mind.
should be:
Sakura flashes in my mind.
or perhaps:
Sakura's face flashes in my mind.


EDIT:
day 1, after staying after school to help issei, on the way home issei says:
"But I think you're going too far that it might eventually overwhelm you."
should probably be:
"But I think you're going too far, it might eventually overwhelm you."

asceai
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Unread post by asceai » May 5th, 2007, 11:08 pm

3rd day, Kotomine Church -- Alter Ego
"Then let me ask you one more thing.It is a boring question, but do you think you are superior to your Servant?"

should be a space between 'thing.' and 'It'

Ryuusoul
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Unread post by Ryuusoul » May 6th, 2007, 1:14 am

gsl wrote:
asceai wrote:2) Should "We'll probably end up with a 'kill or be killed' relationship" be "We'll probably end up in a 'kill or be killed' relationship"? I dunno, I guess it's a point of style.
Actually it's not a point of style at all; they're very seperate things. The first sentence indicates the existance of a 'kill or be killed relationship', the second refers to the speaker's direct involvement in such a thing. I haven't installed the patch yet so I have no idea which is correct in the context of the game, but little nuances like that are seldom if ever simply stylistic issues.
No, I'm pretty sure that is a stylistic thing.

Now, this is all Taka's call, of course, but please try not to get too carried away with all this... we're not asking people how best to turn this into how they'd like to have it written. We're asking about basic grammar and typos. Thank you.

QuickKill
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Unread post by QuickKill » May 6th, 2007, 2:09 am

11th day >_> (Intermission: Archer and Berserker)

Wounds that are not fetal will be fully healed within a few minutes.

fetal->fatal, I'm guessing.

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