What will they tell the kids...(Spoilers obviously)

It's alright, we feel your pain. Noone wants to admit being gar for Berserker.

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Unread postby sabata2 » March 1st, 2009, 7:21 am

Hahaha.

That one made me laugh.
Pretty good.
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Unread postby Headron » March 1st, 2009, 9:09 am

Kuuya/Fabre wrote:Kuuya - " Let me try a hand in this!

~0~0~0~

Kid - Waaah! Kawaiiii! Thank you Papa!

Gil - Heh, if you want to on top of everyone, you first need to have some good hunting dogs.

Kid - Can I name them?

Gil - Sure kid.

Kid - Ah, this one would be Shirou, and this one would be Archer, and then...

Gil - Huh?

Kid - they're mongrels right?


ROFL. i laughed so hard i fell out of my chair.... now i'm really sore
Gilgamesh: Stupid MONGRELS forcing me to live on a roof for eternity.

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Unread postby Xamdou » March 1st, 2009, 9:53 am

Kids: Hey sir , could you sing us a song?

Gilgamesh: Okay , no problem

Gilgamesh: If you're a mongrel and you know it clap your hands~ *clap* *clap*

Gilgamesh: If you're a mongrel and you know it clap your hands~ *clap* *clap*

Gilgamesh: If you're a mongrel and you know it and you really want to fake it!

Gilgamesh: Then you should all die under my hands~ *give out evil smile & laughter*


Kids: *run away while crying*
"You sit proudly in this cave , like a Queen of Egypt.
In my service to you , I shall never know rest.
To prove my devotion , I have stolen this ostentatious offering.
But I'll show you things your dark blue eye haven't seen , smiles like a lake in the sun , blossoming like a lotus."
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Unread postby solopy567 » March 1st, 2009, 1:46 pm

Lol at the song one.
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Unread postby Chaos Chaud » April 3rd, 2009, 9:28 pm

I want to try too, I'll make another music to the Gilgamesh's Song for Kids Disc Collection.

Gilgamesh: I want to kick your head until I blow it away...

Gilgamesh: After that I repeat the same thing until I smash you for your shame...

Gilgamesh: Why? Can't you learn just this lesson?...

Gilgamesh: You can't do nothing at all, you mongrels...

Gilgamesh: I'm Gil... And I'll take your life awaaaay...

*Sound of running kids (again...)

Gilgamesh: I'm very good... Kids quickly go tell their mongrel parents about my song
I know I'll release a CD very soon... (evil laugh)

Sorry, I problably sucked at it :(
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Unread postby Kuuya/Fabre » April 4th, 2009, 12:23 pm

Three guys where drinking on top of a building, taking in the breeze and enjoying their time.

First Guy: Woah, if you fall from this height you'd surely die.

Second Guy: Not really. You see that newly cemented part of the sidewalk down there? They used a cool space age rubber polymer cement for that. You can drop a 1 ton weight from this height and that thing would cushion its fall.

First Guy: shiiit, you just screwin with me.

Second Guy: No, I'm telling you the truth. Here let me show you.

*second guy shoves the third guy off the side of the building. Third guy falls to his death but after striking the pavement picks himself up and casually dusts of the dirt from his pants.*

First Guy: Damn, that's one wicked fall and that guy lived. Let me try it too!

*First guy jumps off and falls to his death, his head breaking open like a splattered watermelon at a beach party.*

~.~.~.~.~

"And that's how I killed off Shirou with the help of Berserker." Lancer proudly beats his chest before his son.

"Wow dad, that was soooo kewl."
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Unread postby Xamdou » April 4th, 2009, 11:56 pm

Kid : Daddy! Uncle Gilgamesh's kid Gilgil bullied me~

Shirou : What?! Damn that anti-mongrel and his freak child

Kid : Do something please.....

Shirou: I'll teach them a lesson that they will never forget

Shirou: *Trace On*......*Search and find the strongest weopon*

Shirou : RRAAAAWWWWWRRRRRRRR!

Shirou : Behold! TEH BAN HAMMER! *crush*

*Gilgamesh and Gilgil have been banned from this forum*
"You sit proudly in this cave , like a Queen of Egypt.
In my service to you , I shall never know rest.
To prove my devotion , I have stolen this ostentatious offering.
But I'll show you things your dark blue eye haven't seen , smiles like a lake in the sun , blossoming like a lotus."
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Unread postby Chaos Chaud » April 5th, 2009, 12:45 am

I'll try another one

Lancer: Son, if you want to use Gae Bolg, you'll have to make sure you kill your opponent, okay?

Son: Yes, dad. But dad... Wasn't Uncle Shirou your enemy? Why is Uncle Shirou alive?

Lancer: Well, kid, he is special...

Lancer: He won't die even if he is killed...

...
.......
.........
I think this one was better :twisted:
"Let Chaos consume your soul, and you won't be neither good nor evil, neither light nor darkness. You will be hollow, will be future, will be freedom." -Chaos Chaud
"You defeat him" -GARcher
"Drown in your ideals and die" -GARcher
"My spine hurts. My body is cold. My fingers are frozen. Yet, my brain burns with fire."- T. Shiki
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Unread postby Kid-Wolf » April 5th, 2009, 4:11 am

Chaos Chaud wrote:I'll try another one

Lancer: Son, if you want to use Gae Bolg, you'll have to make sure you kill your opponent, okay?

Son: Yes, dad. But dad... Wasn't Uncle Shirou your enemy? Why is Uncle Shirou alive?

Lancer: Well, kid, he is special...

Lancer: He won't die even if he is killed...

...
.......
.........
I think this one was better :twisted:

To tack onto that:
Shirou:*sneezes* I wonder who's talking about me now.
Karen: Knowing him it probably was my dog talking to my son.
Shirou: So you are a perverted priestess after all.
Karen: Well at least he's much better in bed you premature ejaculator.
Child: And so it begins again. I'll go find Lancer and talk to him as well then.
- Finding my way through this garden is rather unbearable, but if it is to keep the one I adore company I will endure it for her sake, and her sake alone.
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Unread postby Chaos Chaud » April 8th, 2009, 10:37 pm

I made another one...
This is long so I'll put a spoiler tag

Shirou x Rin (HF route)

Son: Mommy, tell me a story...

Rin: Okay, I'll tell you the story of when your father heroically died for the woman he REALLY loved

Sakura: *gulp

Rin: There was this woman that was really attracted to your father...

Sakura: *cold sweat

Rin: It was like this:
"After your father won the holy grail war, when his soul finally settled down, he decided to go
with me to London where we would finish our magic studies and were planning to forever happily
live after that. However, this woman could not understand this simple thing, that was the begin of his ruin...
"Unknown" Woman: But Sempai, you said you loved me...

Shirou: Yes, and I do love you. How could I not love my sister-in-law?

"Unknown" Woman: But, you even risked your life to save me...

Shirou: Well, Rin would be very sad if you died, and I don't want to see her sad even once,so...

and Rin saved my life many times too

"Unknown" Woman: I've saved your life many times too!!

Shirou: Uh... When did you do that?

"Unknown" Woman: You see... I could have killed you many times but I have never done it...
* at a low voice *except for the bad endings...

Shirou: That's a pretty warped way of saving someone, you know?

Rin: Tell her the other reason why you prefered me. That way, even this slow girl can understand.

Shirou: *Blushes furiously* I can't say that!

Rin: Tell her already!!!

Shirou:*still red*Okay... Uh, look... It's just that... Rin is better at it than you...

"Unknown" Woman: *shocked*

"Unknown" Woman: *cries*

"Unknown" Woman: *stop crying*

Dark "Unknown" Woman: Oh, I see...

Dark "Unknown" Woman: It's just she is better at it than me...

Dark "Unknown" Woman: Huhuhu... Than, I'll show you...

Shirou: Why do I have the feeling this is turning very bad?

Dark "Unknown" Woman: Fufufu... I have yet to show my full potential *mercylessly shots a barrage of shadows

Shirou: *dead*"

Rin: And that's your father's heroic death, because he chose to live his true feelings... *drop a tear*

Sakura: * drop an ocean*

Son: *crying like a normal person* I know how you feel Aunt Sakura, I can never forget this evil, mad, stingy woman that mercilessly killed daddy just because she was jealous of mommy...

Sakura: *looks up at the crying child*

Sakura: *stabs herself to death what did the child even sadder but who can guess what she was thinking*


epilogue

After that in heaven...

Shirou: Uh... Sakura... What are you doing here...?

Sakura: Sempai... *looks up at Shirou*


Dark Sakura: Ask Nee-san when she gets here... :twisted:


FIN

Finally...
I think this one dried up my imagination...
"Let Chaos consume your soul, and you won't be neither good nor evil, neither light nor darkness. You will be hollow, will be future, will be freedom." -Chaos Chaud
"You defeat him" -GARcher
"Drown in your ideals and die" -GARcher
"My spine hurts. My body is cold. My fingers are frozen. Yet, my brain burns with fire."- T. Shiki
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Unread postby JLA » April 9th, 2009, 1:44 am

Chaos Chaud wrote:I made another one...
This is long so I'll put a spoiler tag

Shirou x Rin (HF route)

Son: Mommy, tell me a story...

Rin: Okay, I'll tell you the story of when your father heroically died for the woman he REALLY loved

Sakura: *gulp

Rin: There was this woman that was really attracted to your father...

Sakura: *cold sweat

Rin: It was like this:
"After your father won the holy grail war, when his soul finally settled down, he decided to go
with me to London where we would finish our magic studies and were planning to forever happily
live after that. However, this woman could not understand this simple thing, that was the begin of his ruin...
"Unknown" Woman: But Sempai, you said you loved me...

Shirou: Yes, and I do love you. How could I not love my sister-in-law?

"Unknown" Woman: But, you even risked your life to save me...

Shirou: Well, Rin would be very sad if you died, and I don't want to see her sad even once,so...

and Rin saved my life many times too

"Unknown" Woman: I've saved your life many times too!!

Shirou: Uh... When did you do that?

"Unknown" Woman: You see... I could have killed you many times but I have never done it...
* at a low voice *except for the bad endings...

Shirou: That's a pretty warped way of saving someone, you know?

Rin: Tell her the other reason why you prefered me. That way, even this slow girl can understand.

Shirou: *Blushes furiously* I can't say that!

Rin: Tell her already!!!

Shirou:*still red*Okay... Uh, look... It's just that... Rin is better at it than you...

"Unknown" Woman: *shocked*

"Unknown" Woman: *cries*

"Unknown" Woman: *stop crying*

Dark "Unknown" Woman: Oh, I see...

Dark "Unknown" Woman: It's just she is better at it than me...

Dark "Unknown" Woman: Huhuhu... Than, I'll show you...

Shirou: Why do I have the feeling this is turning very bad?

Dark "Unknown" Woman: Fufufu... I have yet to show my full potential *mercylessly shots a barrage of shadows

Shirou: *dead*"

Rin: And that's your father's heroic death, because he chose to live his true feelings... *drop a tear*

Sakura: * drop an ocean*

Son: *crying like a normal person* I know how you feel Aunt Sakura, I can never forget this evil, mad, stingy woman that mercilessly killed daddy just because she was jealous of mommy...

Sakura: *looks up at the crying child*

Sakura: *stabs herself to death what did the child even sadder but who can guess what she was thinking*


epilogue

After that in heaven...

Shirou: Uh... Sakura... What are you doing here...?

Sakura: Sempai... *looks up at Shirou*


Dark Sakura: Ask Nee-san when she gets here... :twisted:


FIN

Finally...
I think this one dried up my imagination...


BRAVO!! :D
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Unread postby Chaos Chaud » April 10th, 2009, 1:05 am

Thanks, it seems the hard work of my now melted brain paid off... :D
"Let Chaos consume your soul, and you won't be neither good nor evil, neither light nor darkness. You will be hollow, will be future, will be freedom." -Chaos Chaud
"You defeat him" -GARcher
"Drown in your ideals and die" -GARcher
"My spine hurts. My body is cold. My fingers are frozen. Yet, my brain burns with fire."- T. Shiki
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Unread postby aldw » April 15th, 2009, 3:10 am

Chaos Chaud wrote:Thanks, it seems the hard work of my now melted brain paid off... :D


Yeah, that last one really rocked (hell, I even had similar ideas for a fic). :D
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Unread postby Xanathos » April 16th, 2009, 3:30 am

Rin and Shirou: the joy of babies.

Warning: Contains medical science stuff.

At the hospital

Shirou: Don't worry I'm here for you!

Doctor: Push!

Rin gives one giant push

A sword is shot into the doctors head from Rin.

After all, producing swords is the only thing Emiya Shirou is capable of.


????: waaaaaaaah

Doctor: your baby... is fine.

Doctor dies

Shirou: See he was just holding a sword! He is just like his dad!

Several months later

Rin: WHAT DO YOU MEAN OUR BABIES RETARDED!

Magic doctor: During meiosis, sperm cells are copied and produced in mass. However, for shirou a copy will never be as good as an original.....

Rin:!!!!!

Doctor: also there was lead poisoning. This is because Shirou used tracing to create his sperm in the first place.

Shirou: It's not my fault I'm sterile.
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Unread postby -Shiki- » April 16th, 2009, 6:06 am

Xanathos....you ROCK! :lol: i'm laughing my lifeforce out..combining biology and shirou=LOL
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Unread postby WarLord » April 16th, 2009, 8:24 am

Brilliant CC and Xanathos.
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Unread postby solopy567 » April 16th, 2009, 6:57 pm

Xanathos wrote:Rin and Shirou: the joy of babies.

Warning: Contains medical science stuff.

At the hospital

Shirou: Don't worry I'm here for you!

Doctor: Push!

Rin gives one giant push

A sword is shot into the doctors head from Rin.

After all, producing swords is the only thing Emiya Shirou is capable of.


????: waaaaaaaah

Doctor: your baby... is fine.

Doctor dies

Shirou: See he was just holding a sword! He is just like his dad!

Several months later

Rin: WHAT DO YOU MEAN OUR BABIES RETARDED!

Magic doctor: During meiosis, sperm cells are copied and produced in mass. However, for shirou a copy will never be as good as an original.....

Rin:!!!!!

Doctor: also there was lead poisoning. This is because Shirou used tracing to create his sperm in the first place.

Shirou: It's not my fault I'm sterile.


?!?!?!?!? Shirou can trace sperm cells? O_o

Lol, Shirou is rusty.
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Unread postby Catastrophe » April 16th, 2009, 7:56 pm

Xanathos wrote:Rin and Shirou: the joy of babies.

Warning: Contains medical science stuff.

At the hospital

Shirou: Don't worry I'm here for you!

Doctor: Push!

Rin gives one giant push

A sword is shot into the doctors head from Rin.

After all, producing swords is the only thing Emiya Shirou is capable of.


????: waaaaaaaah

Doctor: your baby... is fine.

Doctor dies

Shirou: See he was just holding a sword! He is just like his dad!

Several months later

Rin: WHAT DO YOU MEAN OUR BABIES RETARDED!

Magic doctor: During meiosis, sperm cells are copied and produced in mass. However, for shirou a copy will never be as good as an original.....

Rin:!!!!!

Doctor: also there was lead poisoning. This is because Shirou used tracing to create his sperm in the first place.

Shirou: It's not my fault I'm sterile.


so much greatness...

well played sir.....VERY well played
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Unread postby Chaos Chaud » April 16th, 2009, 10:20 pm

I laughed my heart at this one :lol: . Good Job, Xanathos :lol:

Edit: I don't want to double post so I'm editing XD

TV: "Unlimited Baby Works- A product sponsored by The Tohno Gland Company and The Emiya Marble Company"

Yakuza-Boss Shirou: And that's how we became rich, son. Remember this kid : if you have the right partner, destiny will lead both to a golden future.

Yakuza Son: Kill everyone that turn against us, we just have to kill them!!

Yakuza-Boss Shirou: You're getting pretty good at this, kid. Remember : they're just a bunch of stupid mongrels

Now-Poor Gilgamesh: That's it! You steal my money, my belongings, my Golden Rule, and now you even steal my line!!

Yakuza-Boss Shirou: Oh, my... I haven't even stolen your life yet... But that ends now. Partner, would you like the honor?

Partner:*stabs Gigamesh's Point of Death*

Yakuza-Boss Shirou: HAHAHA, a drink, partner! For our Power!! For our golden future!!!

Yakuza Son: MONGRELS! JUST A BUNCH OF STUPID MONGRELS!!! ALL OF THEM!!!!
"Let Chaos consume your soul, and you won't be neither good nor evil, neither light nor darkness. You will be hollow, will be future, will be freedom." -Chaos Chaud
"You defeat him" -GARcher
"Drown in your ideals and die" -GARcher
"My spine hurts. My body is cold. My fingers are frozen. Yet, my brain burns with fire."- T. Shiki
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Unread postby solopy567 » April 17th, 2009, 12:39 am

Chaos Chaud wrote:I laughed my heart at this one :lol: . Good Job, Xanathos :lol:

Edit: I don't want to double post so I'm editing XD

TV: "Unlimited Baby Works- A product sponsored by The Tohno Gland Company and The Emiya Marble Company"

Yakuza-Boss Shirou: And that's how we became rich, son. Remember this kid : if you have the right partner, destiny will lead both to a golden future.

Yakuza Son: Kill everyone that turn against us, we just have to kill them!!

Yakuza-Boss Shirou: You're getting pretty good at this, kid. Remember : they're just a bunch of stupid mongrels

Now-Poor Gilgamesh: That's it! You steal my money, my belongings, my Golden Rule, and now you even steal my line!!

Yakuza-Boss Shirou: Oh, my... I haven't even stolen your life yet... But that ends now. Partner, would you like the honor?

Partner:*stabs Gigamesh's Point of Death*

Yakuza-Boss Shirou: HAHAHA, a drink, partner! For our Power!! For our golden future!!!

Yakuza Son: MONGRELS! JUST A BUNCH OF STUPID MONGRELS!!! ALL OF THEM!!!!


Lol, I think Gilgamesh is like

"You can take my money, you can take my abilities, and you can take my power, but you can NEVER take my line!!!"
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