What will they tell the kids...(Spoilers obviously)

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What will they tell the kids...(Spoilers obviously)

Unread postby Mkilbride » December 2nd, 2008, 6:56 pm

Many ways to play this out, I'll start with a few and you can discuss. This is assuming that they don't let their kids become Magi or something, I dunno.

Sakura and Shirou's kids: How did you two fall in love?

Shirou: "Uh..."

Sakura: "Uhm..."

>Continued

Kids: Daddy, how come I saw you pull your arm off last night?(Faux body)

Shirou "Well..."


Rin and Shirou's kids: Tell us some stories about your past, Daddy and Mommy.

Rin(Makes evil face at Shirou):"Well..."

Shirou: "Rin!"



Shirou and Saber: ...

Shirou "Shit, I need another cleanex"

Ok, I'm in a rush, didn't have time to fully flush them out, but just have some fun.
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Unread postby VoidAvesta » December 2nd, 2008, 9:49 pm

This tread is going to be sooo much fun to read!
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Unread postby supremehyren » December 2nd, 2008, 11:57 pm

I'll try my hand at this...



______


Saber & Shirou's kid: "Mommy, can you teach me how to fight with swords? Daddy sucks at it."

Saber: (*Flashback to Mordred*)

".... let's wait until you're a little older."

(Later that night)

Saber: "Shirou, I think our son is trying to overthrow me."

______


Archer & Rin's kid: "Daddy, I want to be a superhero when I grow up!"

Archer: "Is that so, son? Well, in that case, you might as well drown in your ideals. You're grounded."


______


Gilgamesh & ???'s kid: Hahaha, MONGRELS.

Gilgamesh: Indeed, MONGRELS.

Gilgamesh and kid, in unison: THEY'RE ALL MONGRELS.

______


Shirou and Sakura's kid...(actually, won't there be a lot of them?): "Mommy and daddy, what do they mean by 'birds and bees'?"

Sakura: "Ohohoho... well, you see, it goes something like-"

Shirou: "A-actually, whynotaskagainwhenyougrowupabit. Sakura, let's have a little talk."



______


Ilya's kid(?!?!?!): "____________________!!!"

Ilya: "You sound just like Berserker! Excellent!"
"No matter how kickass I am, I'll wake up when surrounded by five loud women."

-Tohno Shiki (Drinking, Dreaming Moon)
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Unread postby Benawi » December 3rd, 2008, 12:17 am

lol supremehyren i loved yours for saber/shirou and archer/rin
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Unread postby BlackTornado » December 3rd, 2008, 12:25 am

shirou and rider's kid: dad! why did mom scold me so badly when i tried to play with her spectacles?

shirou: oh... hahaha. Cos if you do, you will be GROUNDED forever... *wink at rider*

Rider: -.-''' Shirou... lets talk
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Unread postby Raitei » December 3rd, 2008, 12:34 am

hmm...

shirou&saber's kid :

shirou : "ok, today's salary is.... tonight, we are going to have yakiniku party! yay!"
saber&kid : "yaay!"

later on the night...

yakiniku housemaster : "sir, the bill's going to be 100,000 yen"
shirou : *faints*

-:-:-:-:-:--:-:-:-:-:--:-:-:-:-:-

bazett and lancer's son : "daddy, teach me how to wield and fight with a lance"

lancer: "ok, here we go!" *brandished gae bolg*

lancer : "first, watch your stance. then, aim for your opponent and... GAE BOLG!"

*gae bolg stabs the son in the heart*

lancer : "oops, I forgot something... ^^U" (gae bolg's nature is always to hit the heart)
"Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes... chaos.
I'm an agent of chaos."
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Unread postby inferno_flamex » December 3rd, 2008, 1:11 am

Kuzuki & Caster...


Caster: Soichiro-sama... Our own baby boy...
Kuzuki: Mmmm...
Caster: As a teacher... You're going to have to start teaching him stuffs one day..
Baby: *cries cries*



~3 years later~



Kazuki: Flower... *points at picture of a flower*
Kid: flaaa...weeerr

Kazuki: Tree... *points at picture of a tree*
Kid: Tweeee

Kazuki: Ship *points at picture of a ship*
Kid: Sheeep

Kazuki: Bird *points at picture of a bird*
Kid: .... *shakes head*
Kazuki: Buuurr-duh.. (bird)
Kid: ... TSUBAME!


Kazuki: ...... Caster?! I dont think we should let Assasin babysit him while we're out anymore...

Kid: !! Uncle Saasiin! Uncle Saasin! *laughs*
Kazuki: ....
"When a petanko hugs you, she's hugging closer to her heart"...
~:~:~
"There is no greater love, between a boy and his pillow"
~:~:~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ_FT_c3IiQ
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Unread postby xthr » December 3rd, 2008, 1:41 am

Taiga and Shirou's Kid:
"Daddy... Mommy... why was I born?"

Shirou: ...:\
Taiga: ...:/
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Unread postby Catastrophe » December 3rd, 2008, 1:54 am

inferno_flamex wrote:Kuzuki & Caster...


pretty much WIN in that post :lol:
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Unread postby Mkilbride » December 3rd, 2008, 2:37 am

Eh, Saber, Rider, and Archer couldn't have kids, Caster either. I mean, my whole joke with the "Cleanex" was because in Fate route, he'd be alone...so /cough.


But funny ideas so far people, I like some of them.

Taiga and Shirou's kid...that's so effing funny. I always thought how effed up a couple they'd be. Sakura would probably have a seizure and die. Rin would throw up.

Also, that Gilgamesh one, is freaking EPIC WIN.
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Unread postby abscess » December 3rd, 2008, 2:44 am

xthr wrote:Taiga and Shirou's Kid:
"Daddy... Mommy... why was I born?"

Shirou: ...:\
Taiga: ...:/

lol I'll try to continue
Shirou: You see... your mom... in bed... is rough at times... the rubber just.... got kinda torn apart...?
Taiga: SHIROU! SHUT UP!!
kid: *scarred for life*
"I settled for that shriek. Those dull vacant eyes... oiled cabbage stench of her...! [...] You know what? I'm sorry if I'm not gonna do this the way you want me to or the way you might. But I will not make an angel out of someone who wasn't an angel...!" -Chief Tyrol, on his beloved wife.
Have you heard about the saying that goes something like "drunk people and kids tell no lies"? Well, that's just a fallacy.
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Unread postby Kid-Wolf » December 3rd, 2008, 2:46 am

I'm detecting that this thread has a lot of epic and lolz involed here. I'm going to love checking this place out as well. Who know I might come up with soemthing if this keeps up.
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Unread postby Mkilbride » December 3rd, 2008, 3:14 am

Yeah lol, I've just been having some weird Fate / Stay Night related thoughts like this lately. Dunno.


I don't think the condom bit is that funny, what direction you should of gone is why in the first place, would they even be in the position to have a child? :P I'm guessing this is "Fate"'s ending, and Rin nor Sakura got em.
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Unread postby gexer64 » December 3rd, 2008, 4:05 am

Saber + shirou.

Kid: mommy I broke your sword.....
Saber: Shirou are kids edible? (jokingly)
Sakura: Nope they taste quite bitter.... (tinge of guilt)
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Unread postby abscess » December 3rd, 2008, 4:47 am

Mkilbride wrote:I don't think the condom bit is that funny, what direction you should of gone is why in the first place, would they even be in the position to have a child?
Hey, it was the first thing to pop up in my head! :P I just thought that Taiga would be very.... "ferocious" when in bed. Just thought about what would a small kid feel if he was told by his parents that he is the byproduct of a broken condom :lol: But yeah, not so good either. I liked yours with RIn and the kid, though.
gexer64 wrote:Saber + shirou.

Kid: mommy I broke your sword.....
Saber: Shirou are kids edible? (jokingly)
Sakura: Nope they taste quite bitter.... (tinge of guilt)
Everyone flees

ouch :lol:
"I settled for that shriek. Those dull vacant eyes... oiled cabbage stench of her...! [...] You know what? I'm sorry if I'm not gonna do this the way you want me to or the way you might. But I will not make an angel out of someone who wasn't an angel...!" -Chief Tyrol, on his beloved wife.
Have you heard about the saying that goes something like "drunk people and kids tell no lies"? Well, that's just a fallacy.
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Unread postby gexer64 » December 3rd, 2008, 4:53 am

Caster and Shirou

Kid: Daddy where did I come from.
Shirou: THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW! I DID NOT SLEEP WITH THIS WOMEN!
Caster: hehehehehehe
In a single answer lies a thousand questions.
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Unread postby NonExistence » December 3rd, 2008, 4:59 am

Sakura + Shirou

child: mommy, what's this? (holding rider's nail/chain)
sakura: you see, when there were bad guys around, mommy, daddy, and aunty fought them off together. aunty used it to help us defeat the evil person.
child: but why does daddy have those chain marks on him?
sakura: ...
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Unread postby Rikh » December 3rd, 2008, 5:00 am

NonExistence wrote:Sakura + Shirou

child: mommy, what's this? (holding rider's nail/chain)
sakura: you see, when there were bad guys around, mommy, daddy, and aunty fought them off together. aunty used it to help us defeat the evil person.
child: but why does daddy have those chain marks on him?
sakura: ...


i lol'ed
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Unread postby gexer64 » December 3rd, 2008, 5:09 am

NonExistence wrote:Sakura + Shirou

child: mommy, what's this? (holding rider's nail/chain)
sakura: you see, when there were bad guys around, mommy, daddy, and aunty fought them off together. aunty used it to help us defeat the evil person.
child: but why does daddy have those chain marks on him?
sakura: ...


1) sakura gets creative
2) Rider needs to keep her hands off the merchandise.

Kid: Hey daddy the priestess said your a premature ejaculator. What does that mean?
Shirou: Oh KAREN!!!!!! I AM THE BONE OF MY SWORD......

Later...

Rin: they just can't keep that job filled can they?


Kid digging through shirous drawers....

Kid: daddy what's Tohno Gland extract?
In a single answer lies a thousand questions.
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Unread postby nanaya_shinya » December 3rd, 2008, 6:50 am

gexer64 wrote:
NonExistence wrote:Sakura + Shirou

child: mommy, what's this? (holding rider's nail/chain)
sakura: you see, when there were bad guys around, mommy, daddy, and aunty fought them off together. aunty used it to help us defeat the evil person.
child: but why does daddy have those chain marks on him?
sakura: ...


1) sakura gets creative
2) Rider needs to keep her hands off the merchandise.

Kid: Hey daddy the priestess said your a premature ejaculator. What does that mean?
Shirou: Oh KAREN!!!!!! I AM THE BONE OF MY SWORD......

Later...

Rin: they just can't keep that job filled can they?


Kid digging through shirous drawers....

Kid: daddy what's Tohno Gland extract?


LOL! Shirou had "assistance" from Tohno Shiki! :lol:
!すでのな
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