Solution to making the H-scenes less awkward, more fun!

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Solution to making the H-scenes less awkward, more fun!

Unread postby Thalnos » November 3rd, 2008, 8:11 am

Sick and tired of that disturbingly bad erotic "literature"? Do you feel as if you just came out of either the Dheli or Produce section of local grocery store after every ero scene? Well, I've got the solution for you!

Mute your in game music. Then start playing Emiya with your preferred audio player. Presto chango! That mundane and...slightly disturbing/slightly hilarious ero scene has now become an EPIC BATTLE of man and woman. Sperm and Egg. Meat and...meat.

Epic shit, I tell you.
"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." - Bill Maher
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Unread postby Divine » November 3rd, 2008, 8:25 am

Haha. I just hold down Ctrl for the ero. I have to read the end of Tohsaka's every time though since thats just damn funny.
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Unread postby Thalnos » November 3rd, 2008, 7:04 pm

Come on people, give it a try. You'll like the results.
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Unread postby ayadew » November 3rd, 2008, 7:29 pm

Emiya by Kenji Kawai I hope! (anime OST)
I shall follow your advice.

Meat and moluscs.
The instant I tear off your limbs, rip open your chest and pull out your intestines, biting into your neck as you ask for mercy, chewing through your eyes and spreading your brains on the ground like butter-------!
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Unread postby Nothing » November 3rd, 2008, 7:52 pm

I always end up laughing my ass off during these scenes. Solutions I use:

1) Add in your own creative seafood metaphors!

2) Try to figure out how they chose to make/write the details in this scene!
(I swear they do these in board committees or staff meetings or something... must find transcripts from those someday)
"We should have her on her back here..."
"No, no, we already did that."
"Hmm... I know! Bend her over in this scene!"
"Hey, pass the sketches 'round here for a minute!"
"Ok, make her face more contorted here..."
"But then how do we script this part...?"
"I'm ordering out. Anyone want some mollusks?"
"YOU'RE A GENIUS!"


3) Have a movie on in the background, and dub the dialog over the scene!
Ex: Watch the Independence Day scene where Will Smith is in a fighter being chased by an alien ship through a canyon. It's so priceless with these scenes it's disturbing.
"WHOOO!! WHERE YOU AT? WHERE YOU AT? WHOOO! LOW BRIDGE!"
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Unread postby nobaka » November 3rd, 2008, 9:43 pm

I don't think you can ever make this scene less awkward. (HF)

The words grotesque, membranes, member, foaming (FOAMING), and blood-congested are all used within 3 horrible sentences. This cannot be allowed to continue.
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Unread postby Atriel » November 4th, 2008, 1:13 am

At least the CGs are cool <.<
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Unread postby IceCold_Asssassin » November 4th, 2008, 1:43 am

i tried it. wow that is intense.
also try playing the ending song to Haruhi. its hilarous
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Unread postby Nerroth » November 4th, 2008, 1:51 am

Or, try writing your own version?


(Conveniently worked-in OCs optional, of course.)
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Unread postby Thalnos » November 4th, 2008, 3:33 am

IceCold_Asssassin wrote:i tried it. wow that is intense.
also try playing the ending song to Haruhi. its hilarous


Hell yeah man! See, epic wasn't it! Now everytime an H scene pops up, I mute the music and bust out Emiya. :D


Oh and I use the Emiya version that I ripped right out of my game disk (legally, mind you, I bought my F/SN, so I see no issue with ripping the songs in order to listen to em when I want). Ahhhh, so awesome. Although I think I'll try Hare Hare Yukai now...


EDIT: Ok, so I tried HHY, didn't go so well. However, I played Gong (by JAM Project) and Maka na Chikai (Busou Renkin OP) during an h scene. Those are the two most epic and hot blooded songs in existance (imo). That scene was so intense. So awesome. It was almost GAR. 8)
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Unread postby Tash » November 4th, 2008, 12:00 pm

In KT, they suggest that you replace track 18 (which I'm assuming is the ero scene music) with Yakity Sax. Has anyone tried that with F/SN?
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Unread postby gexer64 » November 5th, 2008, 3:13 am

Have Microsoft sam read the scenes. EPICNESS.
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Unread postby Archaic » November 5th, 2008, 4:38 am

Somebody please make an AMV with these suggestions so I can laugh harder. :D
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Unread postby Maes » November 5th, 2008, 7:49 am

gexer64 wrote:Have Microsoft sam read the scenes. EPICNESS.


Wouldn't that make them more awkward? Granted, they'd be epic in a very hilarious way, but still....

I think I shall play EMIYA#0 in conjuction with MS Sam reading... this should be interesting, to say the least.
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Unread postby nanaya_shinya » November 5th, 2008, 8:13 am

Develop a stoic personality(?) Well, it worked for me...
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Unread postby Catastrophe » November 6th, 2008, 12:06 am

ever thought that maybe Takajun write'em that way for some weird reason we dont know??[/troll]

lol anyway, i dont think tere's a single way to "lightening" the ero experience from something Nasu-esque, but...
Atriel wrote:At least the CGs are cool <.<
what he said...
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Unread postby Serpentarius » November 6th, 2008, 9:53 pm

Nothing wrote:3) Have a movie on in the background, and dub the dialog over the scene!
Ex: Watch the Independence Day scene where Will Smith is in a fighter being chased by an alien ship through a canyon. It's so priceless with these scenes it's disturbing.
"WHOOO!! WHERE YOU AT? WHERE YOU AT? WHOOO! LOW BRIDGE!"
This killed me. Then I died.

Also, the track "Light and Darkness" also works well. And, if I may add another suggestion, mentally change the characters in the ero scene. Like, imagine it's narrated from Ilya's perspective, and substitute "Kotomine" for the female's name. It works.
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Unread postby abscess » November 6th, 2008, 10:21 pm

I don't see any problem with the scenes. They are perfect as they are!
It's like getting to see through a window how the characters really are when they are intimate with each other.
It's quite interesting when you get to analyze them.
When you put a bit of thought behind them it really gives a real insight to the character's life, how is it that htey see their partner they are with and what sort of duty they carry with them.

I wouldn't know about you, but I do find them believable in a way.
Probably the writer wanted to evoke a feeling of desperation and lust in some of them, but also accompany with a sentiment of love and care for each other.
FSN's love-scenes are a great example of that. They were carried out in need but that didn't hinder them to show their tender side to their partner in question.
An example of it is HF's last scene were Shirou himself wants to sleep with Sakura and is not Sakura the one who comes looking for his attention.


I think it's important for us, as fans of TM, to put a bit of consideration in each of them. That's all I think I need to say.
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[/troll] :P
Yes, I laugh at them! Really really hard!
Mainly at the "this feels so great that I could vomit!" in HF AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! :lol:
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Have you heard about the saying that goes something like "drunk people and kids tell no lies"? Well, that's just a fallacy.
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Unread postby gexer64 » November 7th, 2008, 12:03 am

Watch an episode of Iron Chef with sea food.
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Unread postby Maes » November 7th, 2008, 2:04 am

So I finally got to a Sakura ero scene and gave this a try... it's like it was meant to be. I don't know what made you think of this idea to begin with, Thalnos, but wow.
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