F/sn Typo/Grammar Mistake Report [v3.2]

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Unread postby Kenzu » November 29th, 2008, 1:23 pm

Heaven's Feel

6th Day: Awakening-Morning - In bad shape- Nurse Sakura

"Huh...? That's true... but what about it? Stop
making that face."

"Huh...? That's true... What's with you? That face...
It has a really ominous feeling to it, so cut it out.

or
"Huh...? That's true... What's with you? That face...
I'm getting a really ominous feeling, so cut it out.


6th Day: Nurse Sakura - A simple question

"But Senpai. I really like that part of you."
"But Senpai. I love that part of you."
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Unread postby Not_Female » December 1st, 2008, 9:40 pm

Fate - Day 9: VS Caster

"Her robe is pierced by lances. As the robe is blown away, more lancespierce it."

Should be "lances pierce". Just a missing space.
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Unread postby Kenzu » December 2nd, 2008, 12:25 pm

Heaven's Feel

VS Rider - Truth about Sakura

Rider
"Yes. Let's say that's how it will be.
"Yes. Let's say that's what you'll do, Archer.
or
"Yes. Let's leave it at that, Archer.


9th Day: -Church -Sisters(I)

Shirou and Rin say it simultaneously:
-Kotomine, how's Sakura......!?"
-Kotomine, how's Sakura-!?"

But Rin always calls him Kirei, so:
-Kotomine, how's Sakura......!?"
-Kirei, how's Sakura--!?"


9th Day: Outside church-Park, night - What I should protect

Archer
"But if you are to deny everything you've done to
save one person---

"But if you are to deny everything you've done
up till now, to protect just one person---

Either save or protect. Later in the park it is translated:
'If you are to protect just one person---'


Intermission - Nightmare, awakening

I was hoping for a poorly-made Holy Grail, but I
never expected to reach the actual thing. It is a waste, but..."

I was expecting a poorly-made Holy Grail, but I
never expected for it to reach that stage.
If you talk about waste, it is a waste, but...

On the other hand, the last sentence is good as it is.
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Unread postby aldeayeah » December 3rd, 2008, 11:57 am

Heaven's Feel
16th day - VS Saber - Sparks Liner High

So I have find an opening.
If there's no opening, I'll make one.


Should be "So I have to find an opening"

Your body is at its limit, even thought you do not bleed and your flesh is turning into swords.

Should be "even though you do not bleed"

Once that happens,Tohsaka will lose.

Missing space after the comma
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Unread postby Kenzu » December 3rd, 2008, 2:51 pm

Heaven's Feel

13th Day morning
Intermission - Misery

She learned of warmth, so going back to the cold is
frightening.
She learned of warmth, so warm people are detestable.

Something's seems wrong here. Perhaps it should be "cold people"? I can't read it so I don't know...


Nobody helped her, so that must mean they affirm
her.
They didn't object, that's the same as agreeing with
her.

That doesn't sound quite right. How about:

Nobody helped her, so that must mean they affirmed of
her situation
.
They didn't object, that's the same as agreeing to that.


13th Day: Night - Beautiful aria

"I know. What you decided is probably right.
"I know. What you decided is surely right.


9th Day - Rain

I'll be your superhero.
I'll be your own superhero. (or ally of justice)
or "very own"

I don't know if this is love or not.
I don't know if this is love or (?)
I can't read that kanji, so I can't suggest anything except changing it :(
Last edited by Kenzu on December 4th, 2008, 12:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Unread postby aldeayeah » December 4th, 2008, 12:30 am

Sakura route day 16
Intermission - At the end of the dearest wish

Sowhy is it so far away

Missing space ("So why")
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Unread postby Kenzu » December 5th, 2008, 11:01 pm

Heaven's Feel

5th Day: Bathroom - Cold medicine, A capsule

"Sakura! Hey, are you all right, Sakura!?"
"Sakura! Get a hold of yourself Sakura!"

Huh? But I don't feel hot at all..."
Huh? But I don't feel that hot..."

"I-I'm sorry, Senpai...! I-I-I wasn't thinking...!"
"I-I'm sorry, Senpai...! I-I was in a daze because of the fever and...!"


9th Day - Superhero

Ilya
"...I see. So you're choosing the same method as Kiritsugu.
"...I see. So in the end you're choosing the same method as Kiritsugu.
or
"...I see. So you're choosing the same method as Kiritsugu after all.


Perhaps a little change:
Kotomine
You are Emiya Kiritsugu now. There is no way you cannot win."
Right now you are Emiya Kiritsugu. There is no way you won't win."


16th day: VS Saber - Sparks liner high

Two great men, shared life

Warera tomoni Ten wo idakazu - doesn't that mean "We embrace heaven together" or something like that?
Or was the kanji translated and not the hiragana?


Conclusion - Conclusion

Taiga
"...Really, Sakura-chan?
"...Is it really okay, Sakura-chan?

"...I'm glad to know how much you like him, but...
"...I'm glad you care about him this much, but...
Last edited by Kenzu on February 8th, 2010, 11:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Unread postby bugmenot » December 12th, 2008, 11:21 pm

I don't know if this really qualifies as grammar...

- Oh! So you were hiding your sword with the curse of the wind.
- The voice-over says "majinai", not "noroi".
- Possible correction: ? Normally "charm", but "charm of the wind" is iffy.

Great how the Japanese thought they would assign the same kanji to two words with the opposite meaning, isn't it?
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Unread postby Kenzu » December 13th, 2008, 4:56 pm

bugmenot wrote:I don't know if this really qualifies as grammar...

- Oh! So you were hiding your sword with the curse of the wind.
- The voice-over says "majinai", not "noroi".
- Possible correction: ? Normally "charm", but "charm of the wind" is iffy.

Great how the Japanese thought they would assign the same kanji to two words with the opposite meaning, isn't it?


Well, it could also be "enchantment of the wind ", "wind spell", "wind magic". Whatever. There is a problem with translating it, so might as well leave it. It's OK as it is to me.


Heaven's Feel

7th Day: Midnight: Park - War balance randomizer

There---
"E-Emiya-kun...!?"
"...Saber." - this is not heard in the voiced version. Is that the version difference?


12th Day: Return home-Bedtime - Mind's thirst

"I want to have sex with you tonight. You want to?"
"I want to have sex with you tonight... You don't want to?"

"----Yes. I'm very happy."
"----It's not that. I'm very happy."


I don't want Sakura, but...
It's not that I want Sakura...
or
It's not that I want to make love to Sakura...


15th Day: Einzbern forest - Death of a saint

"No, you can't go anywhere.
Because you die here."

"No, you won't go anywhere.
Because you will die here."


"Goodbye. I appreciate the fact that you saved me."
"Goodbye. I appreciate the fact that you let me live Priest-san."
Then again "save" is fine too

On the ground where Kotomine Kirei lay is his blood-soaked outfit.
On the ground where Kotomine Kirei was lying is his blood-soaked outfit.
or
On the ground where Kotomine Kirei lied is his blood-soaked outfit.
or
On the ground where Kotomine Kirei was lies his blood-soaked outfit.
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Unread postby bugmenot » December 14th, 2008, 2:56 am

Here's another:

She'll see something similar to her kill people.

Should be:

She'll see something similar to herself killing people.

Reasoning:
1. Take out the "something similar to" part, and the remainder no longer makes sense.
2. Without "herself", it sounds like it's talking about another person.
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Unread postby bugmenot » December 14th, 2008, 2:58 am

Kenzu wrote:Well, it could also be "enchantment of the wind ", "wind spell", "wind magic". Whatever. There is a problem with translating it, so might as well leave it. It's OK as it is to me.


Curse has negative nuance, blessing/charm has positive nuance. Sure, they're both types of magic, but carrot and celery are both types of vegetable.
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Unread postby Message » December 14th, 2008, 7:13 am

bugmenot wrote:
Kenzu wrote:Well, it could also be "enchantment of the wind ", "wind spell", "wind magic". Whatever. There is a problem with translating it, so might as well leave it. It's OK as it is to me.


Curse has negative nuance, blessing/charm has positive nuance. Sure, they're both types of magic, but carrot and celery are both types of vegetable.

Are you guys really that blind?

NOTE - Only report errors ONCE. Do NOT discuss other people's reports, nor our decision on whether or not to fix something.
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Unread postby RandyFlynn » December 15th, 2008, 10:59 am

UNLIMITED BLADE WORKS

4th Day: Archery Range - Shooting
"-----Man. has it become so bad [...]"
The small 'h' should be capitalized in my opinion.

4th Day: Returning Home-Dinner - Introduce Saber to Fuji-Nee-Girls United?
"...But they did finish all of it. What's up with 'more, please' (3 times) being the only thing that was said?"
This really confuses me. In my (hopefully) humble opinion, this line could use a little refreshening. How about this: "What's up with 'more, please' being the only thing that was said and repeated three times?".

11th Day - Afternoon - Return Home, Caster's Attack
"Their position...if Caster would do that, 's face will explode like a tomato."
What you read is what I've read too. There's a gap between the comma and the 's that needs to be filled with a name, and I presume it's
Fuji-nee,
since
Taiga is taken hostage by Caster in this very scene.


11th Day - Afternoon - Return Home, Caster's Attack
"Tohsaka glares at Caster and does not do anything. 's life will end if she moves."
And again, it's
Fuji-Nee
that needs to be added. I mean, how could it possibly be a "censorship" if there actually is an image of
Caster helding Taiga as an hostage in her arms?
Gimme a break, guys. Seriously. :D

11th Day - Afternoon - Return Home, Caster's Attack
"If Tohsaka's going to move, I'll [blank] Tohsaka before Caster will."

Okay, now you're pushing me to the limit. Wouldn't this be "stop", or at least "interrupt" Tohsaka? Or is it "kill"? I don't get it!

11th Day - Afternoon - Return Home, Caster's Attack
"That means...she will kill [blank] if I refuse."
Well, hel-looooo? It's
Fuji-Nee!
And there's plenty more, all dealing with the same person:

11th Day - Afternoon - Return Home, Caster's Attack
"Caster urges me for my reply while digging her fingers on 's neck.

11th Day - Afternoon - Return Home, Caster's Attack
"She's saying she's invincible because she controls innocent people like [blank]?"

11th Day - Afternoon - Return Home, Caster's Attack
"And besides, the enemy has 's life in her hands."

Ok, now the rest was perfect - until...

Intermission - Winter Forest
"Coldness and stagnation, barrenness and longing"
A full comma is missing here.

Sorry for being a nagger and cheers from Italy! We all needed F/SN real bad! And please pardon my rush and/or my poor english, I'm doing my best to help you out! F/SN is definitely awesome!
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Unread postby Kenzu » December 29th, 2008, 12:45 pm

UBW

Match decided - Unlimited Blade Works

This is the only magic allowed for me."
This is the only magic allowed for Emiya Shirou."


Heaven's Feel

11th day: Night: Patrol - Tohsaka Rin (III)

In short Sakura is cheerful when you're in front of her."
In short Sakura is cheerful when Emiya Shirou is in front of her."


11th Day: Night: My room - Connection of minds

My penis is wet with liquid from Sakura's mouth.
Sakura made Shirou's penis wet with the juices from her pussy, so "mouth" doesn't actually fit here.

I can only think about following my instinct and piercing it in Sakura.
"Piercing it in" doesn't sound right. How about "piercing Sakura", or "sticking it in Sakura" or something like that?


Conclusion - All evils of the world

If Angra Manyu considers them evil and agonizes over them [...]
If "All evils of the world" considers them evil and agonizes over them [...]
A possible but not necessary change.

Would it be able to forgive itself after destroying and losing everything?
Would it be able to forgive itself after destroying and losing everything and remaining on it's own?

That's what I would like to know."
I want to know that."

That is why I wish for the birth of what can provide me with an answer.
That is why I wished for the birth of what could provide me with an answer.

All we can do it to drive our fists into our opponent.
All we can do is to drive our fists into our opponent.


Intermission - At the end of the dearest wish

Some of Zouken's cries are not heard (the "oh,oh" ones)

"----You have changed Makiri."
"----You have changed to that extent? Makiri..."


They risked their lives for an ideal that couldn't come true. [...]
That's why he remained.

They sacrificed their lives for an ideal that couldn't come true. [...]
That's why he remained.

Perhaps "sacrificed" as I can't read those. Just a thought.


"---I see. You're right, Justizia."
"---I see. I remembered, Justizia."

"Sou de atta na" - it's more about remembering in this case.
"So it was that" may be OK here too.


Conclusion - All that is good in life

Her body was dying but she still said she'd protect me---
---So she can eventually smile in front of other people.

Her body was dying but I still said I'd protect her---
---So she can eventually smile in front of other people.


"Haa, haa, ha, gah---!!!!!!!" - this line is not heard in the voiced version


"I don't know how many
more seconds this body will last you, but you
must hurry if you need to do something."

but you must hurry if you have a goal."
or
but you better hurry if you have a goal."


Conclusion - At the end of a miracle

"Senpai. Nee-san will just laugh at you even
more if you try to bluff it out. Well, she's bluffing
too, so it's even."

"Senpai. Nee-san will just laugh at you even
more if you try to act tough. Well, she's acting tough
too, so it's even."

"---Who's bluffing?
"---I'm not acting tough or anything.

Then again, these two are okay as they are.


I'll make dinner, so you can wait with Sakura."
I'll make dinner, so drink tea and wait with Sakura."


"Thanks. I'll accept your kind offer."
"Yeah.

"Thanks. I'll accept your kind offer."
"Please do.


"Um..... Um, I think we're doing it too much, but my body's, um..."
"Um..... Um, well you see... I think we're doing it too much, but my body's still, um..."

Added "Um" and "well" means that Sakura has trouble saying these things. I think it sounds cuter that way.
Last edited by Kenzu on February 9th, 2010, 1:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Unread postby Kenzu » January 3rd, 2009, 9:55 pm

1st Day: Returning Home at night - A white girl

About Taiga stealing Shirou's food

Sakura
"Yes, I will."
"Yes, I'm keeping watch."

"Wow. Senpai was a real kid."
"Wow. Senpai was an amazing child."

Taiga
"Yeah, he was some kid.
"Yeah, he was amazing!


UBW

6th Day: Ryudou temple - Fall down, your mind

Archer is defending Assassin's incomprehensible attacks [...]
Archer is defending against Assassin's incomprehensible attacks [...]


14th Day: Church underground temple - Reality Marble

"...Archer. Does that mean you will give up now-----?"
"...Archer, you cast your swords away. Does that mean you will stop fighting----?"

"Saber. Someone will eventually appear to release you.
"Saber. One day, the one who will release you will appear.


15th Day: Dawn-Einzbern castle - "VS"

"You won't do anything, huh? That's good.
"You won't do anything, huh? I'm grateful.

"Very good. I can kill him at ease."
"Very good. Then I can kill the brat at ease."

"What-----impossible, Archer. You cannot mean your end is..."
"What-----it can't be, Archer. You cannot mean your end was..."


Heaven's Feel

9th Day - Rain

"You don't need to force yourself to care for me."
"You don't need to force yourself to care for someone like me."

I'm just a puppet for my grandfather
I'm just a puppet of my grandfather


Sakura says I should never have learned about
this.
But if that were the case, she would just have
kept on crying.


Sakura says I never should have learned about
this.
But if that were the case, she would have just
kept on crying.


If Sakura has to blame herself because nobody
will blame her...
[...]
Even if nobody would forgive her, I would keep
forgiving her in her place.

If Sakura has to blame herself because nobody
will blame her...
[...]
Even if nobody would forgive her, I would keep
forgiving her for them. (instead)

I don't know about that one, but it sounds kind of weird.


9th Day: Midnight: My room - Connection of bodies

Even if I like you, I can't do anything for you.
I love you, but I can't do anything for you.


"-----You're wrong. I didn't protect you. I just
wanted to be with you.

"-----It's not that. I just wanted to be with you.

It's about making Rin Shirou's enemy. Shioru IS protecting Sakura.
At least that's what I think.

it could also be:

"-----It's not about making her my enemy.
I just wanted to be with you.


"...D-Don't Sakura...! If I continue, I'll----"
"...D-Don't Sakura...! If you continue, I'll----"

to stimulates my manhood.
to stimulate my manhood.

I'm sleeping and was so tired that I won't wake
up till tomorrow, so this has to be a dream.

I'm sleeping and I'm so tired that I won't wake
up till tomorrow, so this has to be a dream.
or
I'm sleeping and am so tired that I won't wake
up till tomorrow, so this has to be a dream.
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Unread postby rom_maniac » January 4th, 2009, 2:27 pm

In the Status Menu, Saber's Excalibur statistics box in the Noble Phantasm section says "Maximum target" instead of "Maximum Target" like the other Noble Phantasms.
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Unread postby rom_maniac » January 6th, 2009, 4:21 pm

HF Day 11: Intermission - Nightmare (II)
"She cannot tell him of this disfunction." should be "She cannot tell him of this dysfunction."

HF Day 15: Return Home-Emiya Living Room - Truth-Antihero Angra Manyu
"so it more efficient..." should be "so it was more efficient..."
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Unread postby Timekiller » January 8th, 2009, 12:38 pm

Mirrormoon, thanx for the hard work! :)

I don't know if I should call it "typo", but I guess it'll be okay to post it here.
Caption of the last (extra) Tiger Dojo is left untranslated.
Link to a screenshot:
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Unread postby Mazyrian » January 24th, 2009, 6:10 pm

HF, I think the day after Shirou get's Saber

"Do you understand? That place may be a last resort for you, but are under no obligation to follow their orders."

Should be

"Do you understand? That place may be a last resort for you, but you are under no obligation to follow their orders."
"I am the spider that set this web.
-Welcome to this wonderful killing chamber."
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Unread postby Kenzu » January 26th, 2009, 11:21 am

Mazyrian wrote:HF, I think the day after Shirou get's Saber

"Do you understand? That place may be a last resort for you, but are under no obligation to follow their orders."

Should be

"Do you understand? That place may be a last resort for you, but you are under no obligation to follow their orders."


That would be
4th Day: Dojo-Church - Holy Grail War, the beginning


Here are my suggestions

Heaven's Feel

6th Day: Night-Bedtime - Matou Sakura (III)

"...Okay. Thank you, Senpai. This is the second gift I've received from someone dear to me."
"...Okay. Thank you, Senpai. This is the second time I received a gift from someone dear to me."


7th Day: After breakfast - Sakura and lunch

It's open during lunchtime, I can make you some tea, and it's quiet there---"
It's open during lunchtime, there's tea, and it's quiet since no one's there---"

I thought about changing "I can make you some tea" to "there's tea", since Sakura tries to show advantages that are at the archery range, and not directly telling Shirou to have lunch together.


"...Yeah, you're right. That's a good idea."
"Y-Yes!
It is a good idea! Then, um...----"

"...Yeah, you're right. That's a good option too."
"Y-Yes!
Of course it is Senpai!"
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