F/sn Typo/Grammar Mistake Report [v2.0]

It's alright, we feel your pain. Noone wants to admit being gar for Berserker.

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aldeayeah
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Unread post by aldeayeah » March 19th, 2008, 11:34 pm

Unlimited Blade Works
4th Day: Dojo-Phone
Saber's compromise-Mistake that is yet to be seen

Saying that, Saber looks down awkwardly for a second..


Extra period, or missing period (if they were supposed to be points of ellipsis)

nobaka
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Unread post by nobaka » March 19th, 2008, 11:57 pm

UBW route: 11th Day: Afternoon, return home - Caster's attack

Uh, Taiga's name seems to be missing. Like, it's a blank space.

Alucard
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Unread post by Alucard » March 20th, 2008, 12:20 am

UBW Day 13
Intermission - Princess Medea
"He was in his thirties, had a medium built, and.."
build

"She grews to realize that the thought..."
grew

aldeayeah
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Unread post by aldeayeah » March 20th, 2008, 12:47 am

Unlimited Blade Works
4th Day: Returning home-Dinner
Introduce Saber to Fuji-nee-Girls United?

It's not like I was hoping for a cheerful dinners from the very first day, but couldn't there have been a bit more conversation?

'Cheerful dinners' or 'a cheerful dinner'.

Alucard
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Unread post by Alucard » March 20th, 2008, 1:08 am

UBW day 13
Intermission - Winter forest
"The man reaches out for the that went to sleep."
+girl?

Peorth
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Unread post by Peorth » March 20th, 2008, 1:11 am

3rd Day: Night - Returning Home - Ilya - Another night - VS Berserker

when Shirou and Rin are done talking ,and Rin is about to leave, Berserker and Illya interrupt them



"----Hey, have you finished talking?" A youngful voice echoes through the night
That should be 'youthful', I think.
A battle has been fought, and is now over.
Place your sword upon the ground, and rest in the temporal peace.
After dozing in the warmth of a dream, a new day will begin.
The days keep passing by..
And we still chase the same star we once saw.

aldeayeah
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Unread post by aldeayeah » March 20th, 2008, 2:37 am

Unlimited Blade Works
5th Day: Breakfast-Way to school
Everyday(II)

"Man, it's getting really dangerous.
You can't work in Shinto for a while. You have some money in reserve, so so take a break during times like these, okay?"


Extra 'so'.

---

Unlimited Blade Works
5th Day: Morning, school
Tohsaka Rin, Mitsuzuri Ayako

She's firm, and she's stronger than most guys
It's not a trivial matter that she's missing, and most of all, I can't ignore it as her friend.


Missing period after 'guys'.

Peorth
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Unread post by Peorth » March 20th, 2008, 4:34 am

4th Day, Afternoon: School - Telephone Murder Fuji-Choice


'....not to make a fuss about her, when we go in, I'll be indebt to you....'
Indebt isn't a word. Perhaps 'indebted?' or 'in debt'?
A battle has been fought, and is now over.
Place your sword upon the ground, and rest in the temporal peace.
After dozing in the warmth of a dream, a new day will begin.
The days keep passing by..
And we still chase the same star we once saw.

Peorth
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Unread post by Peorth » March 20th, 2008, 6:54 am

5th Day, Woods-Tohsaka Residence- Rin's Treatment

right after Rin drives Rider off from attacking Shirou...


'....admiring her for being an honor student, until three day ago....'
'day' should be 'days'.
A battle has been fought, and is now over.
Place your sword upon the ground, and rest in the temporal peace.
After dozing in the warmth of a dream, a new day will begin.
The days keep passing by..
And we still chase the same star we once saw.

Peorth
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Posts: 175
Joined: January 31st, 2007, 9:36 pm
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Unread post by Peorth » March 20th, 2008, 9:11 am

6th Day, Ryudou - Archer VS Caster


'....I don't know when he got them, but in Archer's hands are those weapons----those twin sword.'
should be 'swords'


Same as above, except:

'...and only when I swear sure kill. I don't like killing meaninglessly....'

I would think it should be 'and only when I can swear a sure kill' or 'can ensure a kill' or something.

7th Day - Rooftop - Tohsaka Rin

'The bell rings to signal the start the 5th period.' I would think that it should be 'the start of the 5th period.'
A battle has been fought, and is now over.
Place your sword upon the ground, and rest in the temporal peace.
After dozing in the warmth of a dream, a new day will begin.
The days keep passing by..
And we still chase the same star we once saw.

james-skarz
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MORE MORE MORE!

Unread post by james-skarz » March 20th, 2008, 10:53 am

I'm gonna leave the 6th day because after reading it the grammatical errors aren't that noticeable or important, really.

UBW Route: Day 7, When talking to Rin on the roof about Shinji -
'I see, so she did know, huh?
That's to be expected because she supervises this land and knows about all the magi with a history that live here. So she should know that Shinji's a Master -----------wait, hold on!!!!!!"'
I don't know whether it's meant to be spoken or is still shirou thinking to himself but in either case the speaking marks (double quotation marks) are unnecessary, should be removed.

Also, after they realize Shinji made the boundary field -
' "Boundary Field------!"
The sky is tinted red.
My body is numbed just by breating in the red air surrounding the school.' Obvious, but the word 'breating' should be 'breathing'.

Beginning of the 8th day (Dream sequence) -
'He got used to it.
He got used to it like an idiot' not so much an error as a wrong choice of words, i think it should be 'he got used to it like a fool', as idiot sounds too...stupid in its own way whereas fool sounds like a stronger choice, as someone reflecting on it would say it.

Also at the end of the dream -
'From the start, he ran with his utmost effort, not for himself but for strangers shouldn't have meant anything to him--------' The sentence should be 'but for strangers that shouldn't have meant anything to him'

And in the morning with Tohsaka -
' "-----------------------"
Wow, that's a big prejudice.' I just think it should be 'that's some prejudice' or 'that's alot of prejudice' That's a big prejudice sounds odd, making Shirou sound as if he's looking at something called 'prejudice', like how you'd say 'Wow, that's a big hamster.'

That's all, I think, and i can't be bothered detailing every mistake otherwise it'll hinder my experience of this wonderful route, so I'm trying to cut down to only glaring errors -_-

P.S Message/Mirrrormoon staff, can you guys please stick a spoiler warning on the front of this thread? While it's strange for someone new to the group and all to look at it, I think it's still helpful since there oughta be quite a few spoilers in this thread :S
LEADER OF THE GARSERKERS!!! ^_^

james-skarz
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Didn't take long -_-

Unread post by james-skarz » March 20th, 2008, 12:14 pm

UBW: 8th Day, in front of Sakura's house, Rin says "Yeah. It's meaningless to stay here. And we need restart the search for Caster." just change to 'need to restart'. ^_^

Also, at night (Shirou's reflections): 'Even though I'm attacked with the fact that it's meaningless, I've continue to do whatever i could.' This sentence should either be 'I'll continue to do whatever i can' or the more likely 'I've continued to do whatever i could' (This one is more likely because the rest of the sentence is in past tense :P)
LEADER OF THE GARSERKERS!!! ^_^

Ephyon
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Unread post by Ephyon » March 20th, 2008, 1:16 pm

Fate Route, 7th Day. Ater Dinner. Lectures on Magic by Tohsaka-Sensei

"Magic bullets are magic bullets. It's a bullet filled with ."

Evidently something should have gone after "with".

Oh, and a bit later on:

"There's usually only one of an organ, so you can't give it away to numerous people or make copies of it.
There's no point in dividing the heart in two, right? Even if you separate it, it just stops functioning."

These are actually two separate lines, however the voice file for the second line triggers before the text appears, so you see the first line show up, hear the entirety of the dialogue and then see the second line.

Alucard
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Unread post by Alucard » March 20th, 2008, 2:58 pm

UBW Day 14
Intermission
Captured princess

"So. What do you intent to do, Archer?"
intend

Ephyon
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Unread post by Ephyon » March 20th, 2008, 3:16 pm

Fate, 8th Day, Lectures on magic by Tohsaka-Sensei - Switch

"As you've trained the wrong way for a long time, your switch is closed. If that's the case, all we can do is open it by force and tell your body know that there is a switch."

That part seems odd. It looks like you were going for either "tell your body" or "let your body know" and sorta mixed them together.

Fate, 9th Day, Blood Temple-VS Rider I

"That's your own fault. Oh, and if you tell Tohsaka, I'll really end our friendship. I let you go about Sakura until now. You can at least fulfill your duty as a friend in the end, right?"

Shinji speaking. No mistake, but the hang-up and beeping sound of the phone is triggered at the same time as Shinji's last voiced line instead of one following the other.
Last edited by Ephyon on March 20th, 2008, 5:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Alucard
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Unread post by Alucard » March 20th, 2008, 3:24 pm

UBW Day 15
15th Day: Dawn-Einzbern Castle
"You're wrong, Saber. guardians are not ones that..."
G

End of battle
Answer
"An attack as strong as one of Berserker easily flings away ..."
Berserker's

Interlude 15-3
"... but his mentality is that of an wanderer."
a

15th Day: Return home, night
Before the final battle
".. has every existing Noble Phantasms, he should..."
Phantasm, or "all existing Noble Phantasms"

Peorth
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Unread post by Peorth » March 21st, 2008, 3:49 am

This was posted on the first page, but I noticed the submitter missed something....anyway


Intermission - Another Blessing for this Loser


'His desperation is like that of a pray being chased by a hound.'
Should be something like
'His desperation is like that of prey being chased by a hound'
A battle has been fought, and is now over.
Place your sword upon the ground, and rest in the temporal peace.
After dozing in the warmth of a dream, a new day will begin.
The days keep passing by..
And we still chase the same star we once saw.

KaneDragon
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Unread post by KaneDragon » March 21st, 2008, 4:09 am

Anonymous # 9001 wrote:Day 15, the Shirou vs. Archer fight (End of Battle- Answer is the exact scene name, I'm pretty sure)

"The impact breaks one of the arm and my leg"
"The impact breaks one of the arm and the leg." is the line. End of Battle -- Answer, right after Shirou goes into frenzy mode and starts driving back Archer.

Probably should be "The impact breaks an arm and a leg."
-----------
Also, at "Intermission -- Unnamed Great Style" on the 16th(?) day:
Enmity nor murderous intent is emitted from his sword.

should be: Neither enmity nor murderous intent is emitted from his sword.
-----------
Also, I'm not sure if this is a mistake or I got confused, but on the 24th Taiga Dojo, Rin lists 5 hints, then says you only have to do 4 and that 2 don't matter. 4+2 does not equal 5...

james-skarz
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Mm...Almost finished :'(

Unread post by james-skarz » March 21st, 2008, 7:12 am

UBW Route:10th Day, When Shirou wakes up -
'Anyway, i feel no pain and I don't feel sleepy nor tired. My head has clear up so I managed to get about three hours of sleep.' I think it should be 'my head cleared up so I managed to get about three hours of sleep'

Also, when talking to Fuji-Nee at breakfast -
"...Hey, Fuji-Nee. How many students are in serious condition out of the ones who went to hospital?". The part in bold should be 'are in a serious condition'.

10th day at night,when talking to Rin on the porch -
"Huh?...Wait, isn't this for my sake?I'm glad to be a help to someone.' should be 'glad to be of help to someone'

Soon after that, when Rin decides to stay at Shirou's house -
'What's she thinking, sleeping in the same houses even if we're far away from each other?' should be 'the same house'.

And when talking to Archer in the shed -
"It was abnormal up to now....No, it is normal for humans to keep such abnormalities asleep inside them. In that regards, Emiya Shirou is already abnormal----------but oh well." should be 'In that regard'.
LEADER OF THE GARSERKERS!!! ^_^

Peorth
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Unread post by Peorth » March 21st, 2008, 9:58 am

11th day, afternoon, return home, caster's attack...or something...it's 5am >_>)


'Not even the nausea that fill me up'
'fill' should be 'fills'
A battle has been fought, and is now over.
Place your sword upon the ground, and rest in the temporal peace.
After dozing in the warmth of a dream, a new day will begin.
The days keep passing by..
And we still chase the same star we once saw.

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