F/sn Typo/Grammar Mistake Report [v2.0]

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Unread postby yuki_tsumotteru » July 7th, 2008, 6:24 pm

A few more, and then I promise I'll stop inundating you with these for now :oops:

2/3, split to Fate route:

* There was no sounds of insects in the garden[,] as [and] it was silent.
-- plural error has already been reported; this line also has comma and linking word use issues. Suggested fix: in the garden, and it was silent.

* Putting my mind into it, I start to walk along the wall.
-- possible confusion - makes it sound like he was walking on the actual wall XD. Suggest alongside the wall

* "...Hm"
-- missing period - "...Hm."

* If you wanted to save Saber, think up of a way to do so from a safer place.
-- extra word - either think of a way or think up a way

* They can be summoned by the Masters because the condition on their summoning is that they obtain the Holy Grail.
-- word use - the condition of their summoning

* They obey their Master and risk their life for their Master, because they have a change of obtaining the Holy Grail.
-- missing comma - They obey their Master, and risk their life for their Master, because they have a change of obtaining the Holy Grail.

* Rin: So even if someone like yesterday goes around killing everyone, you're just going to ignore it?
Shirou: Someone from yesterday...?
-- word agreement; Shirou should be repeating what Rin said here.

* "-----Hm"
-- -- missing period - "-----Hm."

* I feel the same way but...
-- missing comma; I feel the same way, but...

* Do you remember the Master yesterday? The girl who was talking about killing you and me.
-- needs question mark - The girl who was talking about killing you and me?

* How can I forget
-- needs question mark - How can I forget?

* "------Hey, hold on"
-- missing period - "------Hey, hold on."

* Rin: To call forth a spirit from a different timeframe, it's easier to prepare a case for them in advance.
Shirou: Class...
-- word agreement; Shirou should be repeating what Rin said here. They were talking about Servant classes vs. true names, so Rin's "case" should probably be changed to class.

* Heroes weilding Noble Phantasms can even defeat spirits of ranks several higher.
-- grammar; suggest spirits several ranks higher

* Swords that kill dragons which are the most powerful fantasia race,
-- comma use; Swords that kill dragons, which are the most powerful fantasia race,

* a brand new weapon
-- hyphenate - a brand-new weapon

* "-----Maybe"
-- Missing period; "-----Maybe."

* I wasn't surprised by how out-of-world that scene was.
-- odd word choice; suggest otherworldly instead.

* I thought I figured that out yesterday, but it really hits me with it now.
-- suggest removing unnecessary "with it" - it really hits me now.

* having her live here would be crazy and Fuji-Nee will kill me.
-- tense agreement; having her live here would be crazy and Fuji-Nee would kill me.

* ...No, that's not the problem, but Saber's room is.
-- linking word use; suggest replacing ", but" with a semicolon - ...No, that's not the problem; Saber's room is.

* And if you follow the open corridor to the outbuilding, you get to the guest rooms...
-- awkwardness; suggestion: And if you follow the open corridor to the outbuilding, you'll reach the guest rooms...

* It is a soft gesture, as if she understands the object's memory just by touching it
-- needs a period at the end

* This is a simple but a warm place.
-- extra "a"; This is a simple but warm place.

* Shirou: "So? What did you want to talk privately about?"
Saber: "I have two. Both are something I would like to keep a secret between us."
-- respone doesn't fit the question; a response of "I have two things" would be better.

* but I would like you to understand this is a measure necessary for us to win
-- suggest addition: but I would like you to understand that this is a measure necessary for us to win

* You can rest when you get tired. If that allows you to stay longer, that's so much better.
-- word use; If that allows you to stay longer, so much the better.

* and Tohsaka [had] just finished her remodelling.
-- and Tohsaka had just finished her remodelling.

* "...Hm"
-- -- missing period - "...Hm."

* That's what's I've been planning to do.
-- incorrect punctuation; That's what I've been planning to do.

* And well, how should I put this...
-- missing comma - And, well, how should I put this...

* "...Hmm. ....Hmm, hmm"
-- missing period; "...Hmm. ....Hmm, hmm."
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Unread postby yuki_tsumotteru » July 10th, 2008, 6:41 pm

Last one for now. Continuing the Fate route:

2/4:
* all the things I don't want to think about like the situation I'm in,
-- missing comma - all the things I don't want to think about, like the situation I'm in,

* and it's for your sake if you don't come.
-- doesn't make sense as written - change first part to it's better that or it's better for your sake

* I say this is a special case.
-- word use; I'd say this is a special case.

* Then it would be everyday from now on.
Huh? Everyday?
-- not a compound when used this way - Then it would be every day from now on. / Huh? Every day?

* making your Junior prepare your breakfast?
-- It looks like this is capitalized, as a translation of Kouhai, to fit with Sempai, which is capitalized - but it isn't capitalized other times, so... - making your junior prepare your breakfast?

* She understands and takes a sip out of her miso soup.
-- unnecessary word - She understands and takes a sip of her miso soup.

* This is miso soup, cooked rice, and food cooked in pot!
hey, why are we having food in a pot for breakfast anyway...!?
-- inconsistency

* Whoa, a chicken fell in my shirt, a hot one too-----!?
-- Unless it was a whole chicken (LOL!) I recommend changing it as follows: Whoa, some chicken fell in my shirt, and it was hot, too-----!?

* You know I'm not the one to joke like this.
-- unnecessary word; You know I'm not one to joke like this.

* my guardian and a school teacher
-- this should be a compound - my guardian and a schoolteacher

* it's ill-fortune that I have to push through with this.
-- no hyphen - it's ill fortune that I have to push through with this.

* I have stayed here for two nights[,] to be accurate.
-- missing comma - I have stayed here for two nights, to be accurate.

* How about it Sensei?
-- missing comma - How about it,Sensei?

* -----Oh I see.
-- missing comma - -----Oh, I see.

* What kind of a person are you just to ignore a praise like "you're beautiful as always"?
-- "a" in this sentence is unnecessary - What kind of a person are you just to ignore praise like "you're beautiful as always"?

* Shinji lowers his hands.
-- inconsistency; the previous sentences indicate that he only raised one. - Shinji lowers his hand.

* So what if Emiya doesn't have parents.
-- needs question mark at end - So what if Emiya doesn't have parents?

* You didn't come to the club when I told you to.
-- inconsistency; referred to as "coming to club" through the rest of the game. - You didn't come to club when I told you to.

* You must have a misunderstanding.
-- tense and phrasing - You must have misunderstood.

* Even though the winter in Fuyuki-city is warm,
-- Fuyuki City issues again - Even though the winter in Fuyuki City is warm,

* So what, why did you get me up here?
-- odd phrasing and comma use; suggest rewrite - So, what? Why did you call me up here?

* It's not something you can gloss over by saying, he was a magus so it couldn't be helped.
-- suggest use of quotation marks here - It's not something you can gloss over by saying 'he was a magus, so it couldn't be helped'.

* It's like we're in a stomach of something alive.
-- it's scarier if it's plural ^^;, but probably not correct - It's like we're in the stomach of something alive.

* The first bell rings through the cold rooftop.
-- word choice - The first bell rings across the cold rooftop.

* Rejoice Emiya Shirou.
-- missing comma; also a consistency issue, since there was one when he said it and in Shirou's previous recollections - Rejoice, Emiya Shirou.

* The end of school homeroom ends, and students start to disappear from the classroom.
-- redundancy; also, hyphentation suggested - The end-of-school homeroom is over, and students start to disappear from the classroom.

* the blond haired girl appears.
-- hyphenate - the blond-haired girl appears.

* Tohsaka said it should take more time though.
-- missing comma - Tohsaka said it should take more time, though.

* but they should be easy to identify since the Master will be lurking at school. Let's find him somehow and stop the boundary field.
-- inconsistency in referring to the unknown rival Master; also, should be a comma after "identify" - but he should be easy to identify, since that Master will be lurking at school. Let's find him somehow and stop the boundary field.

* Saber, I'm sorry but...
-- missing comma - Saber, I'm sorry, but...

* an elegant looking meat
-- missing hyphen - an elegant-looking meat

* What Shirou, going to the bathroom?
-- missing comma - What, Shirou, going to the bathroom?

* Here, sit here Saber.
-- missing comma - Here, sit here, Saber.

* she came here counting on father
* went into father's room
-- should be capitalized, since it's the speaker's father being referenced.

2/5:
* Rin: If I eat a lot in the morning, I'll increase.
Saber: ...Hmm. You say 'it' will increase, but why do you aboid using specific terms, Rin?
-- consistency isssue; Rin's first line should probably say Rin: If I eat a lot in the morning, it will increase.

* Well, she would probably come and eat dinner, so I'd think she'll have calmed down by then.
-- tense agreement - Well, she will probably come and eat dinner, so I'd think she'll have calmed down by then.

* There doesn't seem to be a danger in the victims' lives right now,
-- word choice - There doesn't seem to be a danger to the victims' lives right now,

* ...Well, it is true that the speed is slower, it doesn't break the rules of magi in its place.
-- sentence consistency - ...Well, it is true that the speed is slower, but it doesn't break the rules of magi in its place.

* This Master is robbing the simplest form of magical energy, 'life force', out of people in the city from a place far away.
-- word chosen doesn't match the use of "out of" later in the sentence, where as "stealing" would - This Master is stealing the simplest form of magical energy

* a ley line in Fuyuki city
-- capitalization - a ley line in Fuyuki City

* "...? Hey, Tohsaka"
-- missing punctuation at end of sentence; needs either a question mark or a period - "...? Hey, Tohsaka?"

* in father's study
-- speaker's father again - in Father's study

* it'll be in the master's room...
-- capitalization - it'll be in the Master's room...

Things from Servant Status screens
Sasaki Kojirou profile:
* Tsubamegaeshi (details page)
* Tsubame Gaeshi (skills page)
* Tsugami-Gaeshi (in-game dialogue)
-- obviously, major inconsistency; fix of course depends on which one you prefer.

Lancer entry:
* He promised, "if this dog has a child,
-- capitalize - He promised, "If this dog has a child,

* he released her saying that he cannot kill a woman
-- tense agreement (also needs a comma) - since it's past tense, suggest this fix: he released her,[b] saying that he [b]could not kill a woman

* A thrilling great man, Cu Chulainn had the protection of the goddess Morrigan who governed death and destruction.
-- missing commas - A thrilling, great man, Cu Chulainn had the protection of the goddess Morrigan, who governed death and destruction.

* but instead has the ability to change this fate before Gae Bolg is executed, LCK (luck) is most important.
-- needs one of two changes:
* but instead has the ability to change this fate before Gae Bolg is executed. LCK (luck) is most important.
or
* but instead has the ability to change this fate before Gae Bolg is executed, so LCK (luck) is most important.

Berserker entry:
-- This one had a couple of tense errors:
* Hercules, who should be immortal --> Hercules, who should have been immortal
* The great hero, equally matches with the sun god even as a human, was in the end slowly killed by the persistent jealousy of a Goddess. --> The great hero, equally matched with the sun god even as a human, was in the end slowly killed by the persistent jealousy of a goddess.

* At the point of death, Hercules burned his body[,] still contaminated with poison, and entrusted himself to Zeus's judgment.
-- missing comma - At the point of death, Hercules burned his body, still contaminated with poison, and entrusted himself to Zeus's judgment.

* But the rest of Hercules life was again full of madness.
-- needs apostrophe to indicate ownership - But the rest of Hercules' life was again full of madness.

Rider entry:
* This, however, does not include dragons
-- missing period at end - This, however, does not include dragons.

Monohoshizao entry:
* It will be effective in a one-on-one battle, but its length and weight would trouble the user in a large-scale combat.
-- "a" before "large-scale" is extraneous; also, tense disagreement in bolded words; in this instance, I recommend changing them altogether to get rid of the problem - It is effective in a one-on-one battle, but its length and weight trouble the user in large-scale combat.

Sasaki Kojirou entry:
* Inconsistency: the sword he uses is sometime referred to as a longsword, compound, and sometimes just as a long sword.

* A master swordsman, whose existence is doubted even though his name remains. [extra comma]
-- the comma is unnecessary to the sentence as structured. If you want to keep it, a good change would be A master swordsman, his existence is doubted even though his name remains.

* the book "Gorin No Shou" written by his biggest rival, Miyamoto Musashi.
-- insert comma after title of book. Also, since "No" is a particle, it can be made lower-case - the book "Gorin no Shou", written by his biggest rival, Miyamoto Musashi.

* According to record, Kojirou is from the Echizen-country
-- According to record, Kojirou is from the Echizen Country

* which could even kill a swallow flying around the Nishiki-river in the Suou region.
-- which could even kill a swallow flying around the Nishiki River in the Suou region.

* Because of the sword's length, he cannot fight while holding onto his sheath, so he throws away his sheath in front of Musashi, and Musashi's quote when he saw that, "Kojirou, you lose" is all too famous.
-- tense problems; also needs comma at end of quote - Because of the sword's length, he cannot fight while holding onto his sheath, so he threw away his sheath in front of Musashi, and Musashi's quote when he saw that, "Kojirou, you lose," is all too famous.
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Unread postby Ephyon » July 21st, 2008, 9:02 am

UBW, Day 13. Setting Sun - Lancer's Proposal

"If we're lucky, we might even find some magic item of Illysviel's."

Should be Illyasviel.

UBW, Day 15. Intermission - End of a Hero

"You fraud, I knew it was be possible, but you really are a master, huh? How unfair for a supervisor to take part in the game."

The be there is unnecessary.

UBW, Day 15. Einzbern Castle - Enemy that Must be Defeated

It is the embodiment of the evil in all human, and it is depicted as a reflected image of all humanity's good will.

Should be "the evil in all humans".
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Unread postby Ephyon » July 23rd, 2008, 11:30 pm

UBW. Day 16 - To Epilogue 2

"I can't face my classmates if Fuji-nee gives us ridiculous amounts of homework before the vacation. I'll make sure to her calm down."

Should probably be "I'll make sure to calm her down."
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Unread postby TakaJun » July 31st, 2008, 8:32 am

All right. I finally got around to looking at all the reported errors.
Thanks for the report! Everything posted upto now has been checked.

For people posting after this, PLEASE PLEASE search and see if the errors you post have already been posted or not
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Unread postby password » August 5th, 2008, 5:54 pm

I don't know how to go about this. I have a few errors but it seems must of them have already been reported. I will sort through all reported ones and the ones I discovered when I have more time in hand lol. Its kind of vexing as I don't like taking notes(Far too lazy to do so) and so, I have to remember all the errors and then play the game again to that point to quote it properly. I started to use whatever slots were left in the saves after I went through all the scenes in the game to save at any spot where I noticed an error but that is tiresome as well. Anyways, I will try and submit them when I have time, should take me a couple of days to sort the ones already reported from the ones not yet reported, if there are any.

Ugh... I am so sorry. Please forgive my rudeness. I don't know what caused me to proceed with it after clearly reading your instructions to not discuss other's posts. I don't know why I did it at all. You have my sincere apologies, it won't be repeated. I am a weird psycho. Please accept that as an excuse if one is required. I will leave one be as the OP asked for information regarding the context and its something that isn't actually related to grammar. And please, pretty please, don't follow the suggestions blindly, some of them are better left alone, they would make it sound(Well, read) worse.

(Gil swallowed by void)
Line: Ku-------that fool. Does he not know Servants like it will not become the core......!?
Problem: Confusing pronoun use. Servants like what, exactly? It would help if we knew who this line was directed at (I'm guessing it's a Heaven's Feel prominent character). I have to assume Gil is referring to himself, as he, not Archer nor Saber, is being swallowed, so only one possibility makes sense.
Suggest: Servants like _me_ will not become


^ I think "servants like it" refers to avenger within the grail. As Gil was exposed to the Grail's content, it follows that he met avenger, like Kiritsugu did and so, he should know that it is avenger that resides in the grail and he is calling Avenger foolish in this scene and whining that Avenger should know servants like it won't become the core. So, it is fine as is. But, avenger is referred to as "he" and then as "it" in the same sentence. I don't think its a problem as it shows Gil's arrogance but it just might be better if "he" is replaced by "it" or vice versa.
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Unread postby yuki_tsumotteru » August 23rd, 2008, 9:35 am

These are from the beginning Heaven's Feel scenes.

Taking Sakura Home, Advanced chapter:
* Your house is far way.
-- Your house is far away.

* "There no one... did you see something?"
-- "There's no one... did you see something?"

* That on it's own is great
-- That on its own is great

Signs:
* Yes, thank you Senpai.
-- needs comma - Yes, thank you, Senpai.
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Unread postby Nintendo Maniac 64 » September 7th, 2008, 5:21 am

NOTE: The spoiler tags are just screen shots. They MAY contain spoilers (I didn't really think about it), but the point is to just not stretch out this page.

Ok, I'm pretty sure I didn't see this one on the forum, and honestly I'm surprised (it's REALLY obvious). Maybe I did something wrong in the patching process? :P

FATE ~ Day 12 afternoon - Tohsaka Sensei's lecture on magic-Permit
In Tohsaka's room, at the choice, choice 2 says "Question number one."

uhhh... lol wut

---------------------------------------------------------------

Also, I believe I may have come across two incomplete sentences so far in Unlimited Blade Works, but it's up to you to decide if I'm being uber-picky or not. Both are in the same scene.

Unlimited Blade Works ~ Day 3 Night - First Command Spell
The last line, "Beings surpassing humans, more like spirits", which like I said is incomplete, should also be reworded to "They're more like spirits, beings that surpass humans."

Also, I don't think the wording of "Servants are heroes of the past given bodies" is too great. Possible re-wordings include:
"Servants are heroes of the past that have bodies given to them."
"Servants are heroes of the past that have bodies that were given to them."
"Servants are heroes of the past with bodies given to them.
"Servants are heroes of the past with bodies that were given to them.
(though even my suggestions don't sound that great... all I know is that it needs work, ok?)


I'm pretty sure the 'sentence' "A legendary hero that was pulled from..." is incomplete (I could be wrong on this one). I recommend merging it with "That's right." by changing the period into a comma. - "That's right, a legendary hero that was pulled from..."



There's another typo that (for some reason) I didn't save at, so I'm not really sure where it is. It's in FATE, and I think it's near the end. The typo itself is "evry" which is obviously a misspelling of 'every'.
Last edited by Nintendo Maniac 64 on October 24th, 2008, 1:29 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Unread postby Fatuous One » September 9th, 2008, 4:02 am

While checking one of the weapon profiles for reference, I came across this:

Herpe

????

A monster-killing holy sword used by Perseus, the famous hero in Greek Mythology.

Herpe itself is not an outstanding sword, but as its greatest characteristic it possesses the ability of "refaction of prolonged life".

This is a divine skill that nullifies the special abilities of immortals, and it is said that wounds made by Herpe cannot be healed. (Treatment in accordance with the laws of nature is still possible.)

It is used to kill the youngest of the three immortal sisters, Medusa.


The problem is that the weapon in question is, as far as I can tell, a scythe, not a sword.
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Unread postby sushimonster » October 6th, 2008, 11:39 am

Random red boxes where the text should be... Not sure if this should be here or the bugs forum... and not sure if it is intentional by the game... Occurs in Fate (near the end)

Near the end:
when Shiro is in the trapped in the mud that Kotomine uses against him, the text is red. I am sure that the text is supposed to be in red, but at a certain point, random red squares appear, replacing some of the red text.


It is as if the text has been censored to block a bad word or something... I have no idea whether this is intentional or not... Here is an example:

"..misdiagnosis, concealment, violation for benefit, violation for self-protection, violation for love, violation for respect, selfish [RED BOX]. Stealing fraudlent fraud concealment murder theft crime crime personal grudge attack attack attack...
and so on and so forth...

At one point (a few clicks after the one just mentioned), the text window has half of it filled with red boxes...

I have this gut feeling that it is trying to hide the 's' word, the word that has similar meanings like to the word faeces.... But not too sure if this is normal, a scripting typo, or if there is a text display problem on my laptop...

Please accept my apologies in advance if this is not a typo or a bug... It is just that I couldn't find any posts that had this mentioned...
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Unread postby General_Starr » October 6th, 2008, 3:47 pm

sushimonster wrote:Random red boxes where the text should be... Not sure if this should be here or the bugs forum... and not sure if it is intentional by the game... Occurs in Fate (near the end)

Near the end:
when Shiro is in the trapped in the mud that Kotomine uses against him, the text is red. I am sure that the text is supposed to be in red, but at a certain point, random red squares appear, replacing some of the red text.


It is as if the text has been censored to block a bad word or something... I have no idea whether this is intentional or not... Here is an example:

"..misdiagnosis, concealment, violation for benefit, violation for self-protection, violation for love, violation for respect, selfish [RED BOX]. Stealing fraudlent fraud concealment murder theft crime crime personal grudge attack attack attack...
and so on and so forth...

At one point (a few clicks after the one just mentioned), the text window has half of it filled with red boxes...

I have this gut feeling that it is trying to hide the 's' word, the word that has similar meanings like to the word faeces.... But not too sure if this is normal, a scripting typo, or if there is a text display problem on my laptop...

Please accept my apologies in advance if this is not a typo or a bug... It is just that I couldn't find any posts that had this mentioned...


You might be right about that, but it could be assorted. We can't have too much Angra Mainyu, can we?

As for typo report:
Right before Archer and Shiro's One on One VS in Einzbern Castle, with Saber as sole audience, this line.

"You won't do anything, huh? That's good.
If Saber interrupts right me now, I'd have broken my contract with Rin for nothing."

...interrupts me right now, I...
Looking for more, will post later.
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Unread postby Rikh » October 6th, 2008, 10:58 pm

sushimonster wrote:Random red boxes where the text should be... Not sure if this should be here or the bugs forum... and not sure if it is intentional by the game... Occurs in Fate (near the end)

Near the end:
when Shiro is in the trapped in the mud that Kotomine uses against him, the text is red. I am sure that the text is supposed to be in red, but at a certain point, random red squares appear, replacing some of the red text.


It is as if the text has been censored to block a bad word or something... I have no idea whether this is intentional or not... Here is an example:

"..misdiagnosis, concealment, violation for benefit, violation for self-protection, violation for love, violation for respect, selfish [RED BOX]. Stealing fraudlent fraud concealment murder theft crime crime personal grudge attack attack attack...
and so on and so forth...

At one point (a few clicks after the one just mentioned), the text window has half of it filled with red boxes...

I have this gut feeling that it is trying to hide the 's' word, the word that has similar meanings like to the word faeces.... But not too sure if this is normal, a scripting typo, or if there is a text display problem on my laptop...

Please accept my apologies in advance if this is not a typo or a bug... It is just that I couldn't find any posts that had this mentioned...


I think the boxes might be representational of Calamity and stuff that cannot even be deciphered with human mortal meaning and such.. like Berserkers yells for instance, they are so horrible and strange and powerful that it cant even be put into text
I dont know if i am right, but that's the opinion i have received from those moments, but if im wrong, mirrormoon should check that out =P
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Unread postby Nintendo Maniac 64 » October 24th, 2008, 2:14 am

Yet again, the spoiler tags are just screen shots. They MAY contain spoilers though (the point though is to just not stretch this page)

All right, just finished UBW and I found a bunch more, though only 3 seem to be new (and one I couldn't pinpoint but it's so obvious that I won't even screenshot it).

UBW ~ Day 12 Night-Church basement - Confrontation between Rin and Caster
Last line says "...that I've never went there before."

It should say "...that I've never gone there before."

---------------------------------------------------------------

UBW ~ Day 12 Confrontation - Desperate projection-return alive
The word order in the line "It does not matter for this man who the enemy is." is a little screwy, and confused me for a bit originally.

I recommend using "For this man, it does not matter who the enemy is."

---------------------------------------------------------------

UBW ~ The two's choice - Mind and body
This line "It's too big, no, it won't go fit-------...!" (this is from an H-scene, so I had to self-censor it if I didn't want it to get deleted XD)

This one a "durrr". It seems like it's a combination of "it won't go in" and "it won't fit".

So as a fix, either choice of "it won't go in" or "it won't fit" would work.

---------------------------------------------------------------

This is the really obvious screw-up I mentioned at the beginning (so obvious I don't need a screenshot). I'm ASSUMING it's already been reported since it's so obvious, but I didn't really know how to pin-point it with the search.

THE FOLLOWING ACTUALLY IS AN UBW SPOILER
When Taiga is being held hostage by Caster, anywhere Taiga's name should appear is blank. Not blocks, but actually blank like with spaces you input with your space-bar.
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Unread postby Belzera » October 24th, 2008, 10:10 am

The blanks are intentional
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Unread postby Nintendo Maniac 64 » October 24th, 2008, 5:48 pm

oooooo....kaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy....... ( O_o? )

EDIT: AW CRAP I didn't even realize it was in the first post... HOW THE HECK DID I MISS THAT *bangs head on keyboard*
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