Tsukihime Typo/Grammar mistake Report [v1.1]

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Unread postby Ryuusoul » June 11th, 2007, 3:56 am

aldeayeah wrote:s101, Arcueid Route Day 4 - The Black Beast (II)

「いらない。たかだか死徒相手に世界と同化しても仕方ないわ。
"There's no need. It can't be helped, even if I am fighting a Dead Apostle.

What does 世界と同化する ("becoming one with the World"?) mean here? Arc drawing strength from nature?

I thought it was something along the lines of:

"There's no need. Even if I get powered up by the World by fighting a highly ranked Dead Apostle, it can't be helped."

...Well, or something less convoluted, I hope. Bleh. I'm not sure at all about this one. Curse my lousy Japanese.

...Sorry, perhaps I shouldn't have posted this in this thread at all.


Changed to: There's no point in becoming one with the world just to fight a Dead Apostle.


Aladar wrote:I hope I didn't missed this one, I ran it through search and it didnt found nothing (this thread is quite long to read sentence by sentence ^^; ), anyway -

day 3
Ciel's route (at least should be, I didn't go 100% by the walktrough)
a bit after answer "No, I won't cooperate."

"There's only two choices. You cooperate with me, or you don't"
i think it should be "There are only two choices. You will cooperate with me, or you (im not sure about this ... "will not"?)

I'm not much good in english grammar (as you can see from my post), so ignore me, if I suggested that second part wrong :)


When "there's" is used as a contraction, it is acceptable to pair it with a plural. In other words, it is fine as it is.
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Unread postby Jinnai » June 11th, 2007, 10:38 am

Ryuusoul wrote:
aldeayeah wrote:s99, Arcueid Route Day 4 - The Black Beast (II)

現存している死徒は二十七祖じゃなくて二十八でしょう。
The Dead Apostles are not a group of twenty-seven, but of twenty-eight.

Should be The Ancestors of the Dead Apostles/The Dead Apostle Ancestors


*Ryuusoul: Okay.

Jinnai wrote:Chapter 1: Day 1

Code: Select all
"Depressed? What's wrong, man? Isn't it  that  time of month?"

should be 'that' w/o the double spaces instead to make it similar to other emphasized words.


*Ryuusoul: In my version, I have 'that' already. Either you have something wrong with your display settings, you are using an outdated version of Tsukihime, or it is an error that was already reported.

Jinnai wrote:
Code: Select all
"Why I woke up early? I guess that's because I can't stay out  late [...]"

a double space between out and late.


*Ryuusoul: Again, I can't find this error.

Jinnai wrote:
Code: Select all
"That's why he comes over to my place  where we conveniently have an empty room.

a double space between place and where.


*Ryuusoul: Again, I can't find this error.

What version are you using? It seems odd to me. Your display settings seem to miss commas or apostrophes on occasion. That, or maybe you just didn't see them.
version 1.1. I'm using japanese fonts...don't know if Tsukihime uses them or not since I run other japanese games. Atleast I didn't see anything specifically in the readme instructions.

The last 2 could possibly be with bad spacing issues with it, but i clearly did not have single quotes on the first one and i've had quotes around other emphasised words.
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Unread postby md » June 12th, 2007, 4:35 am

If you're installing our patch with our installer, the game will be rendering with a special font we made.
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Unread postby aldeayeah » June 12th, 2007, 10:56 pm

s104, Arcueid Route Day 4 - The Black Beast (II)

With my eyes painted vermillion, I *start at myself emptily.
With my eyes painted vermillion, I stare at myself emptily.

Ryuusoul: Fixed. Thanks.
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Unread postby Jinnai » June 21st, 2007, 6:25 am

s514 Ceil's Lesson (Teach me, Ciel-Sempai!)

"That concludes our fourth period lesson."

I'm thinking this should be third because it's the third one and at the beggining i mentions it's the third lesson.
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Unread postby Message » June 21st, 2007, 7:22 am

No, s514 is the fourth lesson. The first, second and third lessons are s511, s512 and s513. s514 is the third part of the "Shakes 'n Shivers Animal Land", but the fourth lesson in total. The third lesson ("Shakes 'n Shivers Animal Land" part 2) is not very easy to get - your ciel_regard must be one and your ark_regard must be zero, and those are extremeley low scores.
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Unread postby Ephyon » June 28th, 2007, 12:20 am

Hisui Route - Day 12 (Daydream)

My empty room.
I start to feel down staying in this for so long.
This restless room.
This room I don't remember.


In the second line, I think it should be "Staying in this room for so long" or... something else less repetitive maybe. At least "this" seems like it should be followed by something.

Same - Day 13

"SHIKI-chan, let's play. You'll get moldy if you stay in one place like that"


Hisui is talking to Nanaya here, but the name is in caps like it's used for Tohno SHIKI. This happens again shortly after:

That's not true. Everyone wants to like you, SHIKI-chan


Finally, there’s a bit of an inconsistence between the dialogue in Shiki’s memories and the conversation with Hisui. What Hisui says at the beginning several days before is "You can believe in me". What’s used in Shiki’s memories is "trust" ("No wonder you can’t trust anyone", "you can ***** (trust) me") and later in the conversation Hisui says "believe" again. It’s neither grammatically nor semantically incorrect, but seeing as that specific word is given enough importance as to have it obscured like that, I thought it was worth mentioning.


Fixed
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Unread postby Ephyon » June 28th, 2007, 10:33 pm

Ah something else. Day 13, Hisui's route, during the H scene.

"...No that's not it. I haven't really made love to you yet." ......
That's right, before (etc....)"


Those ellipses at the end of the first line look really out of place, as if they were meant to be a separating line between the other two. Like this:

"...No that's not it. I haven't really made love to you yet."
......
"That's right, before (...)"


It's actually just where the word-wrap ended up being. It is part of the ... That's right, etc. These are Shiki's thoughts, not spoken out loud. For whatever reason, Nasu just had it on the same line originally. I moved the whole thing down a line.
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Unread postby Aladar » July 3rd, 2007, 9:23 am

..I hope today, my suggestion will be proper :)

Day 12, Ciel Route (should be s307 accordint to flowchart) -
"It's useless you know." - "It's useless, you know."

"It's very easy for me to tell where the person is who stole my power" - "It's very easy for me to tell where the person who stole my power is" (or some other formulation, original one seems weird to me..)

Epilogue, Ciel Route, True ending - "I see, her crying face" - "I see her crying face"

Fixed except for the Epilogue part. That's just stream of consciousness.
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Unread postby Jinnai » July 7th, 2007, 9:20 am

I think none of these were reported yet (only the error from s146 i was going to post i found)

s142 (i believe...or around there)

After restoring their body fully, they can become zombies... members of the class of living corpses (The Living Dead)."
[...]
They are on a different level than those manipulated "Dead"."

body should be bodies given that the plural of zombie (zombies) is used later.

If Arcuied says 'The Living Dead' then there should be a comma before it. If she doesn't, it should be put outside the quotation marks.

"Dead" should be 'Dead' (ie single quotations instead of double.

Ryuusoul: Fixed

-----
These corpses go through the one out of tens of thousands rate to become vampires, [...]

bolded should be "rate of one out of tens of thousands"

Ryuusoul: Changed to "One out of tens of thousands of these corpses"


-----
-- Just,

without reason, without even recognition, if someone close to be died like that, how would i react?
I don't want to imagine it, but just a bit.

Not sure if there is suppose to be a a line skipped inbetween as the Just and without, but maybe it's like that in the Japanese version.

just a bit doesn't sound right. just for a bit flows better.

Ryuusoul: Changed to "for a brief instant..."
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Unread postby Jinnai » July 8th, 2007, 12:42 am

s159
Code: Select all
My wound has healed a long time ago; Why does it hurt so much?
My chest      is broken.

Lot of extra spaces here...even considering the problems I have with spacing issues, there is still to many. I assume that ellipsis was suppose to be used here.

No, that is what was in the original game.


s163
like what they call a date in the real word.

like should be Like

Ryuusoul: It's a continuation of the sentence.
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Unread postby Ephyon » July 20th, 2007, 10:29 pm

EDIT: Nevermind, It was explained like half a page after. I need to remember not to do this as I go...
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Unread postby Ryuusoul » July 29th, 2007, 3:34 am

Previous corrections implemented.
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Unread postby Jinnai » September 2nd, 2007, 7:38 am

s187

Of course not, I'm not weakened enough to be fooled by such tricks. ....
But, the fact I made a mistake can't be excused.

Should be a total of 4 periods. 3 for the ellipse and 1 for the period at the end of the sentence.

The comman should be removed.

Ryuusoul says: No, that's just how it is. And if you're making a note about the comma like that, you've obviously missed out on the Nasu writing style in all the other scenes.
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Unread postby memoryjar » September 10th, 2007, 6:27 pm

I'm not sure the exact number but this was the last day of Akiha's route just before you fight with SHIKI

"We fight to death once more at the place where Shiki almost killed me." Shouldn't it be SHIKI?

That was confusing the first time I read it so it stood out.
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Unread postby aldeayeah » October 2nd, 2007, 10:59 am

s172, Arcueid Route Day 9 - Bloodstained Moon 1
(Date scene, lunch at the fast food restaurant)

... Geez. If Arcueid just said from the beginning "I'm a vampire that doesn't suck human blood", then I would have agreed to help her from the... start...
"... Hey, wait a minute! You don't call that a vampire!"
"You do. Even you can't resist eating for one day, right?
For those vampires who are True Ancestors--like me, the highest class of food, the thing that can satisfy our desires the most is blood.
So in order to "live" and "fulfill our desires", we can substitute blood with other things."

Right now I don't have the Japanese script to check so this is mostly a guess based on context, but... shouldn't it be "Even you can resist eating for one day"?

(EDIT:)

s177, Arcueid Route Day 9 - Bloodstained Moon 1
(In the park, when you remember about Roa's attack on the night of Day 7)

I calm down and I describe as clearly as I can what happened last night.

Correction:
I calm down and I describe as clearly as I can what happened two nights ago.

Should be "two nights ago" like in s173, and not "last night" like in s161 (meeting Arc the night after Death, which leads to DNM).
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Unread postby cndarkside » January 18th, 2008, 6:31 pm

not sure if this has been spotted all ready?, but on Day 8 (I think), talking to Hisui in the sitting room she says:

"---I cannot do that. Shiki-sama, I refuse to cook for you."
Hey eyes suddenly take on a challenging look.

I guess this is supossed to be her in stead of hey.

great work so far can't wait for fate/stay night to be ready. :D
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Unread postby Kanzar » January 26th, 2008, 8:11 am

"Bother, I---"
Akiha gasps and cuts off mid-sentence.

Should be 'brother', right...

Um... I have no idea when this is... I'm playing the Kohaku route by the walkthrough, and chose:
I hate her

when talking to uh... well, you know who. >_> It's in the scene directly after she replies to that choice.

EDIT: End of the 3rd day.
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Unread postby Ryuusoul » January 30th, 2008, 3:38 am

memoryjar wrote:I'm not sure the exact number but this was the last day of Akiha's route just before you fight with SHIKI

"We fight to death once more at the place where Shiki almost killed me." Shouldn't it be SHIKI?

That was confusing the first time I read it so it stood out.


Thanks, corrected.



Kanzar wrote:"Bother, I---"
Akiha gasps and cuts off mid-sentence.

Should be 'brother', right...

Um... I have no idea when this is... I'm playing the Kohaku route by the walkthrough, and chose:
I hate her

when talking to uh... well, you know who. >_> It's in the scene directly after she replies to that choice.

EDIT: End of the 3rd day.


No... here is the full context:


"...... It doesn't have anything to do with you, Akiha. I'm going to my room, so don't bother me."
"Bother, I---"
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Unread postby Mazyrian » February 20th, 2008, 2:53 pm

I think these haven't been posted before

In Akiha's route

After she gets the fit, in your room:
Hisui: "Shiki-sama, it is rare for Akiha-sama to to be like that" (extra to)

When you help Hisui carry the books to Makihisa's room:
"The old man's room, huh... that' on the west wing of the first floor, isn't it?"
but after that "Now I've just got to get this mountain of books up to the second floor"
(the room is in the first or in the second floor?)

In Hisui's route
In Midday Moon:
Kohaku: "I tried to find new springs, but I never could find one" (is really springs, or shouldn't it be strings?)

In Dreams of Sunshine:
Akiha: "To give you examples, like going out to deepen bonds with family members or, or invite them to have fun out of gratitude" (extra or)

EDIT: Another one

Akiha's route:

Just before the party, when you go to Akiha's room:
"I open the door.
Akiha's room is at the very end of the west wing, a good fifty meters from my room at the end of the east wing."
(In the rest of the game, and when you have the four room choices (just before meeting SHIKI), Akiha's room is at the end of the east wing)
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