Tsukihime Typo/Grammar mistake Report [v1.0]

Caution: Flying pans at low altitude.

Moderator: Staffers

Tsukihime Typo/Grammar mistake Report [v1.0]

Unread postby TakaJun » November 6th, 2006, 11:11 pm

NOTE - Before you post a textual error, search this thread to see if it hasn't already been reported.

NOTE - Only report errors ONCE. Do NOT discuss other people's reports, nor our decision on whether or not to fix something.


This is a report thread for all the typos and grammer mistakes you may find in the Tsukihime English patch.

Please state:
- The scene (Day and route may help)
- The mistake (what's wrong)
- Sentences around it
- Possible correction
- The version of Tsukihime English



Current version: 1.0 [2006-11-05]
User avatar
TakaJun
 
Posts: 431
Joined: June 11th, 2005, 5:26 am

Unread postby TakaJun » November 6th, 2006, 11:15 pm

Okay, first one.

Scene: 1st Day. After choosing to stay in your room. Conversation with Hisui.

Mistake:
"do you mind if I ask an off-topic question?"
(Hisui) "yes, what is it?"

Should be something like "Not at all, what is it."
User avatar
TakaJun
 
Posts: 431
Joined: June 11th, 2005, 5:26 am

Unread postby Mystic_Truhan » November 7th, 2006, 12:37 am

All of em in version 1.0
Akiha route, near the beginning of the second day, talking to Kohaku and Akiha.
"...Are you sure neither of you noticed? That dogs were barking for about thirty minutes straight last night."
Since these are two different lines, you could go two different ways. You could replace "That" with "Those" or you could try splicing the sentences. Something like, "Those dogs were barking for about thirty minute straight last night, (line) are you *sure* you didn't notice?"
Shortly after arriving to class, second day, Akiha route, talking to Ciel and Arihiko. VERY minor.
"Yeah, he's probably feeling irritable because he's not used to his life after moving. Tohno doesn't mind most things, but he's got a bad habit of throwing a fit when he faced with things he doesn't understand."
The next to last "he" should be "he's".
Mystic_Truhan
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 4
Joined: September 17th, 2006, 8:27 pm

Unread postby Mr VacBob » November 7th, 2006, 5:08 am

Arc route, third day in the morning, talking to Akiha

"I'm not a like a primary school kid, I can make it home by myself"

edit: Arc route further, in the hotel, intensely spoilers
"I ready my knife as I glare at the him"

2: "Some of the confirmed hair samples appear to be from a large breed of dog, a wolf, and there was also evidence of a bear"

3: "Oh? What's wrong Shiki?" "I'm the reason you met Nrvnqsr so you don't have to feel indebted" "Hm, I think you have bad luck Shiki" more commas?
(several other lines that just end " Shiki?!" omitted)
Mr VacBob
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 7
Joined: November 7th, 2006, 5:06 am
Location: atlanta, ga

Unread postby Ryuusoul » November 7th, 2006, 8:44 am

Above posts are fixed, except for Taka's out of spite.

A lot of the ones you'll find are where I (or others... mostly probably me) changed thought mid-sentence or edited a line and forgot to change the rest of the sentence...
User avatar
Ryuusoul
The only Shirou fanboy
 
Posts: 318
Joined: September 5th, 2004, 3:05 am

Unread postby Pado » November 7th, 2006, 10:13 am

In the opening:

"Something warm and wet hits my my face"

double "my"
Pado
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 6
Joined: November 6th, 2006, 3:58 pm
Location: The Holy Land

Unread postby Ciel » November 7th, 2006, 10:24 am

I think it's either Arcueid or Ciel route, I found this during the first fight with Nero:

http://serio.i-xcell.com/image/Image352.jpg

The problem's in the second part with all those slashes after and in the middle of the words.

Also should that fight be totally silent? I have all the other tracks working, but during both of the battles almost no music plays.
Last edited by Ciel on November 7th, 2006, 2:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Ciel
Crack Desu!
 
Posts: 454
Joined: March 11th, 2004, 6:44 am

Unread postby Henduluin » November 7th, 2006, 12:28 pm

English isn't my first language, but this sounded a bit odd to me:
(day 1, talking to Akiha after dinner. Version 1.00)

http://members.home.nl/unmei.no.chibi/Akiha.jpg

"I tell her with my expression that I'll go away if I'm bothering you"
"You" is a bit odd to use here if you ask me, "her" sounds better to me.
User avatar
Henduluin
Crack Desu!
 
Posts: 341
Joined: November 5th, 2006, 3:29 pm
Location: Dutchtopia

Unread postby moerukun » November 7th, 2006, 2:47 pm

Henduluin wrote:English isn't my first language, but this sounded a bit odd to me:
(day 1, talking to Akiha after dinner. Version 1.00)

http://members.home.nl/unmei.no.chibi/Akiha.jpg

"I tell her with my expression that I'll go away if I'm bothering you"
"You" is a bit odd to use here if you ask me, "her" sounds better to me.


This one I can personally see. Its like he's shooting her a look that says "I'll go away if I'm bothering you".


Only issue I've found so far that I noticed through my first couple of hours was the Disclaimer. The 1st paragraph has the word Illegal spelled as illigal.
moerukun
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 1
Joined: November 7th, 2006, 2:44 pm

Unread postby Henduluin » November 7th, 2006, 6:08 pm

Shouldn't it be placed in quotation marks then? Like "I tell her with my expression that 'I'll go away if I'm bothering you.'" or something like that?

Oh well, like I said, English isn't my first language. It just sounds a bit odd, could be Nasu's writing style.
User avatar
Henduluin
Crack Desu!
 
Posts: 341
Joined: November 5th, 2006, 3:29 pm
Location: Dutchtopia

Unread postby Mr VacBob » November 7th, 2006, 7:02 pm

Continuing Arc route:
"Akiha-sama wants to know what have you been doing", "you have" is reversed

and much farther along, returning to the mansion after failing to find Arcueid:
"First thing's first"

next day (7): "she would have already came in"

after bandaged guy: "I'm sure she's came here many times", should be come
There are also many tense mixups when Arc explains the Akashic Record.

further and further and further (THIS IS SO LONG): "I can't tell if your really stubborn or not."
Last edited by Mr VacBob on November 8th, 2006, 4:16 am, edited 3 times in total.
Mr VacBob
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 7
Joined: November 7th, 2006, 5:06 am
Location: atlanta, ga

Unread postby JocPro » November 7th, 2006, 9:28 pm

First day, prologue, Aoko and Shiki:
Ver 1.0


"Eh?....."
"What do you mean, 'eh'? You're already a runt so i can't see you if you're sitting in the grass.

I think the sentence lacks sense... it should be ' You are just a runt so...
JocPro
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 4
Joined: November 7th, 2006, 9:22 pm

Unread postby Trias » November 7th, 2006, 11:23 pm

First day, conversation with Yumi-something:
"You can't get in after that even if you cry." (Should be try)

First day at night:
"I have an almost instinctual distate for it" (change to instinctive)
Trias
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 1
Joined: November 7th, 2006, 11:20 pm

Unread postby marus » November 8th, 2006, 1:05 am

Day 6, when Shiki finds Arcueid at the park

I don't know what she's mad about, but she looks at me with a dissastisfied expression.
"What that's all about, you meanie? I know I'm not human."

Shouldn't that be What's that all about
KATTO!
User avatar
marus
Crack Desu!
 
Posts: 356
Joined: October 22nd, 2005, 9:57 am
Location: Washington (state)

Unread postby Fatuous One » November 8th, 2006, 2:40 am

Ciel's route, it happens one page of text after as you choose "Obey Arcueid", Ciel's Good Ending. Day 12.

"Even those she's a vampire, ~snip~", it should be 'though' instead of 'those'.

The patch is, of course, "v1.0".
User avatar
Fatuous One
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 12
Joined: November 8th, 2006, 2:27 am
Location: Ouran High School

Unread postby Ryuusoul » November 8th, 2006, 4:24 am

I don't want to sound arrogant, but please do not argue with my acceptance or disapproval of submitted errors. I don't have a lot of free time, and I'd rather spend time correcting errors as I see fit than argue over grammatical nuances.

Pado wrote:In the opening:

"Something warm and wet hits my my face"

double "my"


Already fixed.

Ciel wrote:I think it's either Arcueid or Ciel route, I found this during the first fight with Nero:
http://serio.i-xcell.com/image/Image352.jpg

Also should that fight be totally silent? I have all the other tracks working, but during both of the battles almost no music plays.


Not an error.

Henduluin wrote:"I tell her with my expression that I'll go away if I'm bothering you"
"You" is a bit odd to use here if you ask me, "her" sounds better to me.


Not an error. Is acceptable, quotes not always needed.

Edit: But I can change it anyway.

Mr VacBob wrote:Continuing Arc route:
"Akiha-sama wants to know what have you been doing", "you have" is reversed

and much farther along, returning to the mansion after failing to find Arcueid:
"First thing's first"

next day (7): "she would have already came in"

after bandaged guy: "I'm sure she's came here many times", should be come
There are also many tense mixups when Arc explains the Akashic Record.


First one (have you vs. you have) is an emphasis issue, not an error.

First thing's first isn't an error. 's is an abbreviation of "is".

came/come: Yeah, we couldn't catch all of those... fixed.

JocPro wrote:First day, prologue, Aoko and Shiki:
Ver 1.0


"Eh?....."
"What do you mean, 'eh'? You're already a runt so i can't see you if you're sitting in the grass.

I think the sentence lacks sense... it should be ' You are just a runt so...


Already a runt emphasizes the fact that he's short enough already... sitting in the grass makes it worse. Not an error.

Trias wrote:First day, conversation with Yumi-something:
"You can't get in after that even if you cry." (Should be try)

First day at night:
"I have an almost instinctual distate for it" (change to instinctive)


Yumizuka line: No, it actually IS cry in the original Japanese. Not an error.

Instinctual is a real word. It is merely a synonym with instinctive.

marus wrote:Day 6, when Shiki finds Arcueid at the park

I don't know what she's mad about, but she looks at me with a dissastisfied expression.
"What that's all about, you meanie? I know I'm not human."

Shouldn't that be What's that all about


Thanks. Fixed.

Fatuous One wrote:Ciel's route, it happens one page of text after as you choose "Obey Arcueid", Ciel's Good Ending. Day 12.

"Even those she's a vampire, ~snip~", it should be 'though' instead of 'those'.

The patch is, of course, "v1.0".


Thanks. Fixed.
User avatar
Ryuusoul
The only Shirou fanboy
 
Posts: 318
Joined: September 5th, 2004, 3:05 am

Unread postby marus » November 8th, 2006, 6:12 am

Ha, found some more stuff, though I guess some could be neglible. Naturally, there's some spoilers.
Day 6, when Arcueid is explaining about The Dead and the DAA.

"Not necessarily. the Dead Apostles usually get killed by the new vampires they created.

'the' should be capitalized.

"..... I see. Then, that Dead that you killed earlier ...... that was something like a soldier of the Dead Apostles?"
"Not so much a soldier as a puppet. the Dead Apostles control the dead bodies by skipping the process of becoming a vampire.

'the' should be capitalized. And, I'm not sure since the next page doesn't start with quotation marks, but I think this needs to end in quotes (and if so the next page needs to start with quote marks).

That night at the park.
That girl who passed by the park by sheer coincidence and killed by Nrvnqsr.

Should be something like 'and got killed' (That girl who killed by Nrvnqsr doesn't make sense).

"Yes. Vampires hide the bodies of their victims and stay out of sight not because they don't want to be known to humans.

Since she's talking about vampires avoiding the defense mechanism, shouldn't this be just 'because' and not 'not because'?

Also, there's a lot of places here where quotation's are missing. I don't know if they really matter or not, but I'll post them here anyways.

"What I mean is what you all think of vampires. Immortal, never aging, sucking human blood, turning that human into a vampire, being destroyed by sunlight, all of that.
My 'enemy' is that old type of vampire.

There should be quotation marks at the end of that.

Shiki, you remember how Nrvnqsr's body was made of all those familiars, right?

Need quotations at the end of that.

So they started to wear down and they started to create their own amusement, as if to tell themselves they could have fun as long as they lived. ---That's their beginning.

Quotations.

..... Well, there are those that have a natural ability to "step up" this progress and become a vampire immediately, but this is so rare it's out of the question.

Quotations

These corpses go through the one out of tens of thousands rate to become vampires and eventually kill their parent vampires, becoming a new Dead Apostle themselves.

Quotations

..... Yes, it's just like you say, Shiki.
So usually, this town's case doesn't happen.

Quotations

But you can relax, Shiki.
Even if their avowed enemies are not in this country, I'm here right now.

Need's to start in quotations.[/u][/b]
KATTO!
User avatar
marus
Crack Desu!
 
Posts: 356
Joined: October 22nd, 2005, 9:57 am
Location: Washington (state)

Unread postby Ryuusoul » November 8th, 2006, 8:50 am

Fixed, mostly. Some quotes I didn't add... if there is a page change, we don't put the ending quotes on there.
User avatar
Ryuusoul
The only Shirou fanboy
 
Posts: 318
Joined: September 5th, 2004, 3:05 am

Unread postby Sprint » November 8th, 2006, 11:06 am

After taking Arc to her room at the start of Day 4;

"Investigators believe the cause of Takada Youichi's motorcycle accident was a malfunction in the break pedal which occurred while he was descending a steep hill."

Should be 'brake'
Sprint
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 8
Joined: November 8th, 2006, 11:01 am
Location: Over there!

Unread postby Henduluin » November 8th, 2006, 1:05 pm

Second day, Akiha route (I think it's akiha anyway), after getting dragged outside the school by Arihiko:

Just making sure this isn't a typo, as it does say Arihiko isn't speaking in proper Japanese:

http://members.home.nl/unmei.no.chibi/Arihiko.jpg

"Don't worry. Pay be back in double in the future"
Shouldn't "be" be "me"?
User avatar
Henduluin
Crack Desu!
 
Posts: 341
Joined: November 5th, 2006, 3:29 pm
Location: Dutchtopia

Next

Return to Tsukihime Chat

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests