Tsukihime Typo/Grammar mistake Report [v1.0]

Caution: Flying pans at low altitude.

Moderator: Staffers

Unread postby flamingspinach » November 19th, 2006, 10:05 am

On Akiha's path, after fighting off SHIKI and coming to, Shiki thinks to himself,

"Either way, he's alive right now and has ran away."

Should be "run".

And as Hyperbeast pointed out, there is something right after that where Shiki says that

"Being a guy, I can't help them being."

Hyperbeast suggested that the second "being" is unnecessary, but I thought I'd point out that it could be part of a "for the time being".

-fs
flamingspinach
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 4
Joined: November 15th, 2006, 3:23 pm

Unread postby Mr VacBob » November 20th, 2006, 5:46 am

o wrote:There's at least one use of the word "moot", but that word has different meanings in US and British English: http://www.peak.org/~jeremy/dictionary/dictionary/dictionary.php?search=moot
Unfortunately I don't remember the exact context (it was in Akiha's path), so maybe this issue is moot. Or maybe it's moot.


Most people read it as "dead" even in Britain, I think.

Am I allowed to complain about "this dendrogram is my eternal synthesis"? As a person who knows what both those words mean, that sentence is rapidly approaching nonsense.
Mr VacBob
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 7
Joined: November 7th, 2006, 5:06 am
Location: atlanta, ga

Unread postby White » November 21st, 2006, 9:30 pm

Apologies for any duplicates, I 'ctrl+f'ed every page with keywords to weed out as many as I could.


All Ciel route

Fight against Nrvnqsr

it had to have come from somewhere above.
"..."
I look up the night sky


Requires an "at".



Day 4

No, it is eternity. When a time comes to perish, everything should perish. If observers cease to exist, than that means everything is unchanging.


Should be "then".


Day 5

She had to have seen me kill that vampire with my knife.
If she saw such an gruesome scene, there'd be no way she could talk with me normally like this.


Should be "a".


Day 5

"Really? They haven't found all those missing people yet?"
"It seems that way. There even was another new report this morning.


Sounds very odd, I suggest changing it to "was even".


Day 6

...It's true for other transcedent species, but especially for vampires, it is fatal for to reveal themselves.


This has been pointed out in the arc route, but this is a different scene with the same dialogue and may still need to be changed.


Day 8

"--Your painful death was the goal of this body... of Tohno SHIKI. I've went along with that this long, but it is time to lower the curtain.

Should be "gone", or you could change "I've" to "I".


Day 11 (?)

"--Gg."
Gorge rises in my throat.
My mouth tastes bitter.
I haven't ate anything today, so all I can vomit is my stomach acid.


Should be "eaten". The "Gorge" looks out of place there too.
White
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 6
Joined: November 8th, 2006, 1:38 pm

Unread postby Alyeris » November 22nd, 2006, 10:10 pm

Arc route: Good ending

"... Yeah they haven't changed. I can't make any guarantees, they''ll probably never change"

Is it just me or would it sound much better if you added but berfore the they'll?
Alyeris
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 14
Joined: November 22nd, 2006, 8:13 am

Unread postby Ryuusoul » November 23rd, 2006, 10:02 am

Mr VacBob wrote:
Am I allowed to complain about "this dendrogram is my eternal synthesis"? As a person who knows what both those words mean, that sentence is rapidly approaching nonsense.


No. You apparently read that wrong. The line is as follows:

"Understanding and controlling this disordered dendrogram is my eternal thesis."

And yes, I do know what both of those words mean.
User avatar
Ryuusoul
The only Shirou fanboy
 
Posts: 318
Joined: September 5th, 2004, 3:05 am

Unread postby md » November 24th, 2006, 2:24 am

tsukihime-s0227.txt: They complain about me being late when I wake up at seven o'clock and the curfew's at eight o'clock. If I spend the night somewhere without asking, they question interrogate me afterwards. It's like a prison, right?"
User avatar
md
Crack Addic!
 
Posts: 208
Joined: June 18th, 2005, 4:01 am

Unread postby boingman » November 25th, 2006, 1:06 am

First of all thx for the translation of this great game. Unfortunately I only saw this thread once I had started playing the Ciel route (finished the Arcueid and Akiha routes already).

All of these belong to the Ciel route:

1)
After a brief wait, the door creaks open and Senpai pokes her out her head.
--> one "her" too much.

2)
But even so, my trousers are still wet. The sheet is going to get soaked if I cover myself it
--> the "I" is missing

3)
"Isn't it obvious? When you dont show up, neither does Senpai, so it's bad unless I think of something ahead of time."
--> "up" is missing

4)
It hurts.
My glasses are on, but, my head hurts.

Why.
--> should be "?" instead "."?


5) XXX scene

Try as I might, I can't hold my voice back.
--> doesnt sound right.

6)
Ceil-senpai kneels in front of me.
--> Ciel

7)
"I knew it," Senpai nods.
--> "I knew it.", Senpai nods? It's about the comma.

8 ) with Arcueid
Feeling it is natural for her to be there,
Wasn't that one of Senpai's characteristics?
--> wasnt

9)
What was she thinking in the first place to put put a chair where people walk by?
--> one "put" too much. Already mentioned?

10)
I walk out the front door.
--> "through" the front door?

11) talking to Arc
"I am telling you to become my servant."
--> "am" is missing.

12)
She gives a impatient sigh.
--> should be "an"

13)
Her eyes looks straight at me.
--> look

14)
Probably, With that, the thing called Roa was dispersed.
--> with


15)
I stick out my a hand.

16)
A Impact like a dump truck slamming into the building at full speed.
--> An

17) Ciel True Ending, talking to Arihiko in hospital
Crossing his arms and nodding to himself, Arihiko looks at me in the eye.

18 ) talking to Young Shiki in coma in Ciel Tue Ending
Well, it is difficult to talk about it, so let's just leave it aside."
--> "to" is missing

19) to Arcueid
She's makes some cutting remarks.
-->"She"

20) to Arcueid. After "Obey Arcueid."
"No, you don't have to do go through all that trouble. It''ll be all fine if you just kill yourself right here."


21) To Arc after she came to your room in Ciels Good Ending
"...Hey, whose fault do you think that is? It's because you do things that makes my head hurt starting early in the morning and cause me to to have stress when I shouldn't have any."


22) to Arc after she came into your room in Ciels Good Ending
"That's true. Your existence itself is a like a joke."

23) Ciel Good Ending
"Senpai, I'll ask, but did you talk about something with Hisui?"
--> "about" is missing

----------------------------------------------------------

1) Choice to either think about Akiha or the twins.
2. About the cheerful girl.
--> "girls"?
boingman
Addict
 
Posts: 66
Joined: November 25th, 2006, 12:12 am

Unread postby marus » November 26th, 2006, 5:04 am

Day 3, Akiha Route, Shiki vs Satsuki

"Wha---"
What...
What are you talking about, Yumizuka.

Should be a question mark at the end of that.

Day 9, Akiha Route, Shiki vs Ciel

"That's fine. If we agree to kill each other, then there is crime, but no punishment. It would be more helpful if you think of it this way.
A noise of movement.
Before I realize it, Senpai's body if right in front of me.

Need quotation marks at the end of the third sentence.

In other words.
This situation where both of us holding each other's life in each other's hands is meaningless.

Should be 'hold'.

After the fight

"A functional extent of the brain determined when a person is an embryo---or so it is said. Like how you use your ability, it is employing a section of the brain most people never use."

Shouldn't be any quotation marks at the end of that.

Day 10, Akiha Route, talking to Akiha before school

"..... But, it was nostalgic. Don't you remember, the first time you called my name, and stroked my head under that tree.

Should be a question mark at the end.

Day 11, Akiha Route, with Akiha in the japanese-style room

A long silence.
"Sorry," murmurs Akiha, momentarily breaking the silence,

I'm guessing that's supposed to be a period at the end.
KATTO!
User avatar
marus
Crack Desu!
 
Posts: 356
Joined: October 22nd, 2005, 9:57 am
Location: Washington (state)

Unread postby marus » November 27th, 2006, 5:14 am

Day 1, leaving school

I don't have anything to do, so I to hurry up and leave school.

Should just be 'I hurry'.

Day 1, talking to Satsuki on the way home

"Oh, Tohno-kun! You had no interest in know who was trapped inside there, did you.

Should end in a question mark.

Day 2, talking to Satsuki in the alley

"It's okay if you don't understand right now. I don't really understand myself yet, so I can't explain it very well.
"But, I think after a few days I can become like Shiki-kun.

Don't need a quotation mark at the start of the second line.

Day 4, the dream about the cheerful girl

"Its okay! Shiki-chan, you can trust me and come out!
..... Fine. But, believe... what should I believe in?

'Its' needs an apostrophe. Also, there should be quotations at the end of the first line.


On an off-topic note: IT'S SNOWING!!! I'm so happy!
KATTO!
User avatar
marus
Crack Desu!
 
Posts: 356
Joined: October 22nd, 2005, 9:57 am
Location: Washington (state)

Unread postby White » November 27th, 2006, 11:57 am

Ciel route

Day 11

The wound isn't even deep. But just the slightest penetration by the seventh holy scriptures causes my mind to shatter.
"AH--a, Ah...!"
My body shake uncontrollably.

Should be "shakes".


Day 11

"No, it's not that simple. For an unbeliever like you to enter the Vatican there is a long and frustrating approval process. So, tomorrow, I will to the church in this country so that you can get a temporary permit."

Needs a "go".


Day 12

"---"
"Ciel... Ciel-senpai, has not came back yet.

Should be "come".


True ending

Before she can do that, I ask her a question.
"--Senpai. You father, what kind of person is he?"

Should be "your".


Day 12(?)

Do you think you can kill yourself in that situation, Shiki?"
"U---"
She's makes some cutting remarks.

Should be "she makes some..." or "She's making some..."


Good ending

"Shiki-sama, have you awaken?"
Hisui's voice.


Good ending

"Senpai. I'll ask, but did you talk something with Hisui?"
"Yes, I heard a lot of things about you from Hisui-san.


Needs an "about".


Akiha route

"Thanks. Sorry as always, Arihiko."
"Don't worry, Pay be back double in the future."

The comma needs to be changed to a full stop, or the P does not need to be capitalised. The "be" should also be "me".
White
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 6
Joined: November 8th, 2006, 1:38 pm

Unread postby Sprint » November 27th, 2006, 10:50 pm

Staffroom;
"we stil had to work for more than a month making everything ready for release."
Sprint
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 8
Joined: November 8th, 2006, 11:01 am
Location: Over there!

Unread postby Elric of Grans » November 28th, 2006, 9:51 pm

Not so much a typo as a possible logic error in the plot.

Kohaku's route, just after killing Sacchin. You return and are treated by Akiha, but she notices the bite on your neck and laps up the blood. At this time, Shiki remembers licking the wounds of Akiha and Hisui when they were children. At this point, he still thinks it was Kohaku he played with, and that he did not have any contact with Hisui until the day he left the mansion. Did someone type in the wrong name in the translation (well, the right name, but Shiki should be confused even if the player is not :p), or was this an error in the original Japanese?
User avatar
Elric of Grans
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 12
Joined: October 3rd, 2005, 4:34 am

Unread postby marus » November 29th, 2006, 12:56 am

anata wo, tobimasu.

Day 6, Hisui Route, Before leaving to school

"---No. This is not something that concerns you, Shiki-sama.
"Shiki-sama, if you are going to live in this mansion, please do not ever mention Makihisa-sama again."

Don't need a quotation mark at the start of the second line.

Day 7, Hisui Route, Waking up

"Hi..... sui?
"Good morning, Shiki-sama. You do not have as much time today, so please hurry to the sitting room."

First line should end with a quotation mark.

Day 7, Hisui Route, asking Hisui to cook

Wh..... what amazing thing she says!

Should be something like 'what an amazing thing', or 'what amazing things'.

Day 11, Hisui Route, yelling at Hisui again

"---Shiki-sama, please do not strain yourself."
That way of talking. That expressionless, voice."

Second line shouldn't end with quotation marks.

Day 13, Hisui Route, after 'synchronizing' with Hisui

It seems her wavering voice contains some regret.
"..... What, Hisui. ..... Did it hurt.....?"

Should be a question mark after 'Hisui'.

Day 13, Hisui Route, in school, after calling out to Kohaku

I can't make it from here.
If there's anything that would make, that would be---

'make it'?

Hisui's Good Ending, when Kohaku poisons herself

"Ne--Nee-san, hang on, Nee-san.....! This, this can't be.....! Why, why do you have to die, Nee-san.....!?"
There is---there is no reason for you to die, Nee-san.....!"

Shouldn't need any quotation marks at the end of the first line.
KATTO!
User avatar
marus
Crack Desu!
 
Posts: 356
Joined: October 22nd, 2005, 9:57 am
Location: Washington (state)

Unread postby Wormlord1442 » November 30th, 2006, 12:20 am

(night of) Day 5, no route yet (i think)

around s116,s116a or f117, the erotic dream

"Breathing heavily and appearing as if she cannot seeing anything."

Should be cannot see

---------

(night of) Day 6, Arcueid route?
somewhere between 136-142

It's so, frustrating.

IMHO the comma isn't needed, it just breaks the flow and serves to no purporse. If there's a pause, like trying to find the exact word to describe the feeling, it would be better to use "..." instead.
Wormlord1442
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 4
Joined: November 27th, 2006, 9:39 pm

Unread postby Ryuusoul » December 2nd, 2006, 7:40 am

boingman: Thank you for your hard work, but please try to be a little more discerning in the future... you have a lot of corrections that are either flat out wrong or begin to debate me on word choice... please stick to grammar, typos, etc. This actually applies to everyone who is starting to do this...

Wormlord: Welcome to stream-of-consciousness. That's how it's supposed to be.

Elric of Grans wrote:Not so much a typo as a possible logic error in the plot.

Kohaku's route, just after killing Sacchin. You return and are treated by Akiha, but she notices the bite on your neck and laps up the blood. At this time, Shiki remembers licking the wounds of Akiha and Hisui when they were children. At this point, he still thinks it was Kohaku he played with, and that he did not have any contact with Hisui until the day he left the mansion. Did someone type in the wrong name in the translation (well, the right name, but Shiki should be confused even if the player is not :p), or was this an error in the original Japanese?


It's actually an error in the Japanese... we're not going to stick with the original on this one...
User avatar
Ryuusoul
The only Shirou fanboy
 
Posts: 318
Joined: September 5th, 2004, 3:05 am

Unread postby Message » December 3rd, 2006, 12:16 pm

Thread locked at the release of Tsukihime English v1.1. Please post future type reports in this thread.
User avatar
Message
Master of Bad Puns
 
Posts: 1845
Joined: October 25th, 2004, 6:27 pm
Location: Netherlands

Previous

Return to Tsukihime Chat

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Yahoo [Bot] and 1 guest

cron