Tsukihime Typo/Grammar mistake Report [v1.0]

Caution: Flying pans at low altitude.

Moderator: Staffers

Unread postby Ryuusoul » November 11th, 2006, 12:05 am

bored_tenshi wrote:http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b333/annyui/error.jpg

should be some sort of verb between "i will" and "to the church" (go, talk, etc)

v1.0 - ciel route: should be close to her good end


Fixed.

marus wrote:Marus' typo reports, part 3! Sponsored by Tsukihime_English_v1.0

Day 7, Arcueid Route, in the hallway after Hisui wakes up Shiki

"Don't worry about, just forget it. More importantly, I'm kinda hungry. Is breakfast ready?"

Should be 'about it', or reword the sentence to something like 'Don't worry, just forget about it.'

Day 7, Arcueid Route, in the courtyard

"I'm an older brother stupid for his little sister.
Yeah, I really am.
"----Well then."

Need quotation marks after 'sister'.

Day 8, Arcueid route, after the movie theater

"Man, hearing about it and seeing it were two entirely different things. Even though I knew some background information about what a movie theater was, my imagination fell short of reality.
..... Arcueid gives a happy, heart-felt smile.

Need quotation marks after 'reality'.

Day 8, Arcueid route, in the restaurant

This exorcist may have even came here just to seal me rather than fight the vampire who lives in this city."

You like the word 'came' a lot, don't you?

"..... What is this? Then you're all by yourself?
"Yes, that is the life of a vampire.

Need quotation marks after 'yourself'.

Day 8, Arcueid route, looking for Arcueid in the shopping district
Arcueid can't find them, but I can tell The Dead if I take off my glasses.

Judging from the context, I think something like 'identify' or 'see' would make more sense. Or something like 'but I can tell The Dead from humans', if you really like the word tell.


Fixed.

Henduluin wrote:Third day, Hisui route:

Went to school after not finding Satsuki the night before.

http://members.home.nl/unmei.no.chibi/Arihiko2.jpg

"Miss Yumizuka was took in"
Should be "was taken in".


Fixed.

White wrote:I don't mean to push this further, but are you sure the came error was already fixed? It is different to the other come/came errors in the topic as far as I can see, so i'd just like to be sure there has been no mix up.


Yes.


White wrote:Anyway, here are some more.


All Arcueid route

Day 10 "Cream"

Seeing that smile assures me that this is my world.
"..."
"Man, what is it Tohno? Making such an difficult expression."

Should be "a".


Chapter 11 Day 10, with SHIKI at school

"Gah---?"
He flies.
Suddenly, SHIKI flies back as if he was struck by an car.

Should be "a" car.


Epilogue

She's right in front of me; she's not an illusion.
But, I feel like there is an distance which can never be spanned between us.


Fixed and all that jazz.
User avatar
Ryuusoul
The only Shirou fanboy
 
Posts: 318
Joined: September 5th, 2004, 3:05 am

Unread postby JocPro » November 11th, 2006, 3:36 am

Patch 1.0
Ciel Route
Day 12
Image

She herself does not receive any wounds whatsoever.
The girl painted only in in the crimson blood of her enemies.
JocPro
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 4
Joined: November 7th, 2006, 9:22 pm

Unread postby Anath » November 11th, 2006, 5:32 am

Patch 1.0
Ciel True Ending - Daylight Blue
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a261/ ... meciel.jpg
"My family is a bakery at the nearby town"
should be "my family owns a bakery at the nearby town" or maybe "my family has a bakery at the nearby town"
Anath
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 2
Joined: November 11th, 2006, 3:53 am

Unread postby marus » November 11th, 2006, 8:38 am

Muwah! Report 4, Tsukihime 1.0

Day 10, Arcueid Route, talking with Ciel in the park

Being born into a family of high social standing, property, and money makes it easier to make the whole town into a vampires later on.

Should just be 'vampires'

Day 10, Arcueid Route, talking with Arcueid in the park (after Ciel leaves)

"..... Of course I wouldn't go back. Didn't I say I'd keep my promise. I still haven't been any help tonight."

Should end in a question mark.

Day 11, Arcueid Route, talking with Akiha in Shiki's room

..... I don't understand even more.
Why would my old man command me to do somehing like that.

Questions end in question marks you silly fool!

Day 11, Arcueid Route, talking with Ciel in Shiki's room

"..... Hey now, I'm the victim here, why did I have to learn? He was the one who attacked me, so I can't do anything about it.

Should end in quotation marks.

Epilogue, Arcueid's Good ending

I----thought you were gone, that I would never see you, that i would always------"

Should begin in quotation marks.
KATTO!
User avatar
marus
Crack Desu!
 
Posts: 356
Joined: October 22nd, 2005, 9:57 am
Location: Washington (state)

Unread postby Hyperbeast » November 11th, 2006, 12:40 pm

Ryuusoul wrote:Fixed. It now reads, "First aid age-challenged individual."


Wiseass =P

Anyway, found this one just now, on Akiha's route, day 9, but I can't remember the chapter name. It's when you tell Ciel about the dreams and then later go to the school to see her, after Shiki kills the Dead that was there....

http://img162.imagevenue.com/img.php?im ... _503lo.JPG

"I thinks it's the heart."

There, I bolded the letter instead of the word this time. :wink:

Edit: Found another one just now, day 10, same route and all, after getting Akiha's room right, and choosing to get away from her room rather than fight and after chasing off SHIKI, Hisui tells Shiki that Akiha is tending her wounds, and...

http://img145.imagevenue.com/img.php?im ... _329lo.JPG

"Being a guy, I can't help them being."

Second being shouldn't be there, unless Nasu's writing style is way weirder than I thought =P
User avatar
Hyperbeast
Crack Addic!
 
Posts: 157
Joined: January 9th, 2006, 11:29 pm
Location: The arse end of the world, Australia.

Unread postby Ryuusoul » November 11th, 2006, 7:59 pm

I'm lazy, so I'm just going to say I corrected whatever was applicable.
User avatar
Ryuusoul
The only Shirou fanboy
 
Posts: 318
Joined: September 5th, 2004, 3:05 am

Unread postby White » November 11th, 2006, 8:17 pm

Ciel Route, day 3 in the hotel with Nrvnqsr.

But that's not right.
I can't killed by something like this and I refuse to die.


Needs a "be".
White
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 6
Joined: November 8th, 2006, 1:38 pm

Unread postby Castilho » November 11th, 2006, 9:01 pm

Day 2, after you go frenzy going after Arcueid.

"She's very close by.
Just a little more, and I can her."


There's a hole there.
Castilho
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 3
Joined: November 11th, 2006, 8:55 pm

Unread postby JocPro » November 12th, 2006, 12:08 am

Patch 1.0
Arcueid Route
Day 9
Image

"..... Really? You really were having fun seeing me stumped like earlier? Do you like teasing, or is it secrecy?

I think it should be Were you really ... ?, or instead of that it could also be an affirmative sentence, with the second question mark out of place...
JocPro
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 4
Joined: November 7th, 2006, 9:22 pm

Unread postby Ryuusoul » November 12th, 2006, 2:07 am

White wrote:Ciel Route, day 3 in the hotel with Nrvnqsr.

But that's not right.
I can't killed by something like this and I refuse to die.


Needs a "be".


Fixed.

Castilho wrote:Day 2, after you go frenzy going after Arcueid.

"She's very close by.
Just a little more, and I can her."


There's a hole there.


That hole is intentional.

JocPro wrote:Patch 1.0
Arcueid Route
Day 9
Image

"..... Really? You really were having fun seeing me stumped like earlier? Do you like teasing, or is it secrecy?

I think it should be Were you really ... ?, or instead of that it could also be an affirmative sentence, with the second question mark out of place...


Not an error. You're just reading the emphasis incorrectly.
User avatar
Ryuusoul
The only Shirou fanboy
 
Posts: 318
Joined: September 5th, 2004, 3:05 am

Unread postby whzzz28 » November 12th, 2006, 4:32 am

First screen when the game loads

"Revolve Translations and mirror moon do not endorse the use of this English patch with illigal copies of the game."

Should be 'illegal'
whzzz28
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 1
Joined: November 12th, 2006, 4:30 am

Unread postby TheXev » November 12th, 2006, 5:42 am

whzzz28 wrote:First screen when the game loads

"Revolve Translations and mirror moon do not endorse the use of this English patch with illigal copies of the game."

Should be 'illegal'
Fixed the day the patch was released... ><
User avatar
TheXev
The only Karon Fanboy
 
Posts: 494
Joined: February 10th, 2004, 2:17 am
Location: Corry PA, USA

Unread postby marus » November 12th, 2006, 6:47 am

Just a minor thing, possibly Nasu-related

Prologue, talking with Aoko

I'm happy.
It was the first true feelings I've felt since I awoke from the accident.

Verb-tense-agreement-thingy whatever my teacher calls it ('it' is singular, 'feelings' is plural) - change 'It was' to 'They were', or 'feelings' to 'feeling'
KATTO!
User avatar
marus
Crack Desu!
 
Posts: 356
Joined: October 22nd, 2005, 9:57 am
Location: Washington (state)

Unread postby Anath » November 12th, 2006, 7:14 am

Patch 1.0
Akiha's route, 9th day
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a261/ ... eakiha.jpg
Like how you use your ability, it is employing a section of the brain most people never use."

End quotation mark should be gotten rid of, since Ciel seems to continue talking in the next paragraph.

Edit:
Akiha's route, 10th day
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a261/ ... akiha2.jpg

It seems it didn't mean anything you!

Should be "It seems it didn't mean anything to you!"

Edit 2:
Akiha's route, 10th day
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a261/ ... akiha3.jpg

Eight years ago, eight years ago, eight years ago---
Anath
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 2
Joined: November 11th, 2006, 3:53 am

Unread postby Hyperbeast » November 12th, 2006, 10:51 am

Found two mistakes on the same screen here....

http://img144.imagevenue.com/img.php?im ... _477lo.JPG

First it says "But I can't just let him here all night."
I think it should be something like "But I can't just let him stay here all night." or "--- lay here all night."
Then the next sentence: "So can you take him to his room." should have a questionmark at the end, rather than a fullstop, and it just kinda looks weird at the start too, maybe like it should be a comma rather than a fullstop at the end of the first sentence.

It's on Kohaku's route, I think around day 9 or so. At this point I can't remember, as I decided to finish the route before posting it >.>
It's after going to Akiha's room to confront her about SHIKI, and before the sex scene.
Version 1.0 evidently.
User avatar
Hyperbeast
Crack Addic!
 
Posts: 157
Joined: January 9th, 2006, 11:29 pm
Location: The arse end of the world, Australia.

Unread postby Message » November 12th, 2006, 2:06 pm

marus wrote:Prologue, talking with Aoko

I'm happy.
It was the first true feelings I've felt since I awoke from the accident.

And it's a mix of tenses. I'm happy is present, It was is past, I've felt is present again.
User avatar
Message
Master of Bad Puns
 
Posts: 1845
Joined: October 25th, 2004, 6:27 pm
Location: Netherlands

Unread postby KChasm » November 13th, 2006, 12:36 am

Kohaku's route, having seen Akiha after coming home from killing Yumizuka T_T

"...... It doesn't have anything to do with you, Akiha. I'm going to my room, so don't bother me."
"Bother, I--"

I'm pretty sure that should be "Brother".

Also, at the party

"That's a lie. I, haven't had a chance to pour you anything."

Is the comma on purpose?

At the dream, battling at the school with a red-haired Akiha:

I can't escape from her gaze.
No. That is, wrong.
The piercing chill from the center of my spine. And then, the feeling of everything being taken.
So this is, wrong. I can still make it.

Comma and strange sentence?

A few lines later:

"Why, did it end this way?"

Later, if you choose to go into the father's room:

This isn't good.
This, is bad.

After confronting Hisui about the truth in the kitchen:

"...Really? I think you would be cheerful even if I wasn't there. That was your character. Trust me since I, the one who followed after you, is saying this."

The "wasn't" might actually be correct, but the "is" should be "am".
KChasm
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 1
Joined: November 13th, 2006, 12:33 am

Unread postby Ryuusoul » November 13th, 2006, 4:45 am

KChasm wrote:Kohaku's route, having seen Akiha after coming home from killing Yumizuka T_T

"...... It doesn't have anything to do with you, Akiha. I'm going to my room, so don't bother me."
"Bother, I--"

I'm pretty sure that should be "Brother".


No, it is "bother". He's talking and is cut off. i.e.

KChasm wrote:Also, at the party

"That's a lie. I, haven't had a chance to pour you anything."

Is the comma on purpose?


Yes. Tsukihime is written stream of consciousness. It is also written in real-life phrasing. i.e. sometimes people pause and whatnot. It isn't meant to flow when you see a comma, so the "skip" in reading is purely intentional.

KChasm wrote:At the dream, battling at the school with a red-haired Akiha:

I can't escape from her gaze.
No. That is, wrong.
The piercing chill from the center of my spine. And then, the feeling of everything being taken.
So this is, wrong. I can still make it.

Comma and strange sentence?

Again, stream of consciousness. If you expect every sentence to follow standard convention, you're going to be disappointed.

KChasm wrote:A few lines later:

"Why, did it end this way?"

Later, if you choose to go into the father's room:

This isn't good.
This, is bad.

Same as above.
KChasm wrote:After confronting Hisui about the truth in the kitchen:

"...Really? I think you would be cheerful even if I wasn't there. That was your character. Trust me since I, the one who followed after you, is saying this."

The "wasn't" might actually be correct, but the "is" should be "am".


Fixed. A lot of these kinds of errors are the product of editing or rephrasing an already written sentence, then forgetting to make sure everything synced up.
User avatar
Ryuusoul
The only Shirou fanboy
 
Posts: 318
Joined: September 5th, 2004, 3:05 am

Unread postby Hyperbeast » November 13th, 2006, 3:54 pm

Found some more, this time with Nrvnqsr.
http://img12.imagevenue.com/img.php?ima ... _485lo.JPG

Black Beast II, after opting to wait longer when Nrvnqsr comes to the park, Nrvnqsr and Arc begin to talk about "The Serpent" *aka Roa* and Nrvnqsr says thus...

"Do not be ridiculous. You are the one capricious one."

Fairly certain it should just say "You are the capricious one."

Then immediately after, he says..

"Your purpose is to execute the Dead Apostles, so why do you persistently pursue the Serpent of Akasha."

Should be a questionmark at the end.

Still version 1.


Edit: Ok... I'm not sure if this is a writing mistake or a mistake with the game but...
In Ciel's route, after you defeat Nrvnqsr at the park and Ciel helps you, when you ask her about it at school, it gets weird.
First, it comes up with....
http://img130.imagevenue.com/img.php?im ... _530lo.JPG
Normal, right? But then it goes to...
http://img152.imagevenue.com/img.php?im ... _347lo.JPG
Which is what's said in Arc's route when she shows up at Shiki's house and you ask about it. At least... I think it was Arc's route. Basically, it's saying two nights ago at Shiki's house. Then...
http://img44.imagevenue.com/img.php?ima ... _396lo.JPG
And now it's back to last night at the park. Also it just says "in park" instead of something like "in the park".

But yeah... Weird.


Edit 2: ..And another.
2 days after Nrvnqsr's defeat, when opting to go to the school to see Ciel, she takes Shiki behind the gym to talk to him, and...
http://img159.imagevenue.com/img.php?im ... _340lo.JPG
"What kind of a guy is he."
Should be a questionmark.

Also, I'm not sure, but I think it was shortly after they started talking, Shiki says something at the end of a page which ends without a " at the end. I didn't screen that though, and it's too far back for the recollection.
User avatar
Hyperbeast
Crack Addic!
 
Posts: 157
Joined: January 9th, 2006, 11:29 pm
Location: The arse end of the world, Australia.

Unread postby JocPro » November 14th, 2006, 2:02 am

Patch 1.0
Akiha Route
Day 3
Image

No, if you will be mine, I'll be much happier than I ever was as a human---!"

I think it should be if you would be mine
JocPro
Totally hardly posted
 
Posts: 4
Joined: November 7th, 2006, 9:22 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Tsukihime Chat

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron